On Reflection

A poem about being suffering with depression. Trying to change yourself & realising it's not that simple.

People say I'm different now,

That I've changed a lot,

That I'm much more confident,

But the truth is I'm not.

 

I'm the same as I always was,

I'm just better at pretending,

I smile alot more of the time,

And act like my world isn't ending.

 

My heart is just as hollow,

My self esteem is still on the floor,

I still hate myself as much as I did,

Maybe even more.

 

I thought that by changing the ouside,

I could change the inside too,

I hung every hope I had,

On this theory coming true.

 

So I lost the weight and changed my hair,

Desperate to erase the pain,

But I'm just as depressed as I ever was,

And there's no fat left to blame.

 

So to you I may look happy,

Smiling, laughing and messing around,

But beneath the surface I'm in turmoil,

Searching for a cure that might never be found.