Invisible Ink

A poem I wrote dealing with my struggles with MDD, Social Phobia & a personality disorder.

There's a whole book inside me,
Written in invisible ink,
Words I can never say,
Thoughts I try not to think,
That bubble to the surface,
Forcing their way free,
Wanting to be heard,
Ignoring all my pleas,
I have to bite my lip,
Sometimes quite hard,
The metallic taste of blood,
Reminds me I'm a coward,
No matter how much I want to,
I cannot open my heart,
For fear of vulnerability,
And being torn apart,
Everyone who promised to stay,
Left me in the end,
With broken promises,
And a broken heart to defend,
So I'll keep saying that I'm fine,
When I'm really not,
I'll smile, joke & laugh,
Because it's all I've got,
All the things I want to say,
Can never be said,
All the lines in my book,
Can never be read,
I'm afraid that if I crack,
I'll unleash a maelstrom,
Something that I can't control,
Or ever come back from,
So when I lie about how I really feel,
Please don't take it as a slight,
I don't want my darkness to pollute you,
So I'll just pretend I'm alright.