Defective By Design

My personal thoughts during my latest breakdown.

Unloved and unwanted,
A burden by design,
Cursed from the day of birth,
With a torturous, treacherous mind,
An inescapable prison,
A punishment for her crime,
A crime so horrendous,
The crime of being alive,

In this prison there is no daybreak,
Just one never ending night,
Cloaked in hateful darkness,
Saturated in spite,
The walls carry the whispers,
The echo repeats their words,
Like a broken record,
Forever stuck on the same verse,

There is no warmth, no comfort,
No friendly hand to hold,
Nobody to reassure,
Just the empty, lonely cold,
It bites and it freezes,
Down to the heart at the core,
Until numbness sets in,
And there's no feeling any more,

If you don't feel, can you be alive?
Or does that just leave an empty shell?
What was once a living being,
Is now too damaged to even tell,
Unloved and unwanted,
A burden - infective,
Why would anyone ever want or love,
Something so defective?