Confetti

write please read and enjoy

...And all these tidings oh, aren't they kind

that spill o'er from this unnatural chalice

white as milk my eyes are blind

to all the glinting swords waving in my mind

shred to pieces a cause resigned,

no more rebellion they will find...

and all those tidings from ribbons meant to bind

Gilded Sun show not your brilliant favor

shower warmth on a needy soul

let the loyal be rewarded, for we so often waver

shine a path up from the caverns, we can dig ourselves out of this hole

let us go, the plea of a flea circus, do not hurt us

I will walk your great and mighty beam

and every day await to awake from this daydream

all for the conviction, my sentence, the show

I'm nobody's savior, oh no, a willing sacrifice; alarmingly so,

only on one condition, let us go

Follow tomorrow, led by the nose

tunnel vision, directed away from sewers of sorrow

and where today stops, I don't even know where it goes

I plan nothing in advance on the off chance a spare moment may borrow

itself from my bones, a sparrow may pick flecks of my dust to share with crows

a murder I witness and testify to begin this merry-go-round of macabre-pity-wallow

here to eternity and then back again, taking the elephant for a spin, never forget the basic woes

that years you spend, your poems, stories and life you upend, sharing deeper until your eyes adjust to depths and it's too bright in the shallows

the land is a foreign concept, all language and things upon it you handle inept, your behavior is strange and it shows

you remember your hallucinatory machinations of an insomniac's spell, burnt vulture candles from the tallows

that forbidden longing is now allowed inside, to backslide and consume all these connections, before anyone knows

this monster they love wears the skin of a friend and lurks in his shadows, a phantom life that follows

As with the limbs no longer here, but grasping, the organs gone, but pulsing, this intersection of two lives

one planted in my heart, and many more splintered off, phasing in and out as knives

a brain like a broken bone, a compounded fracture that never healed right

I stand on my own, a boot and no crutch, I face myself every night

spitting mad at the belief in destiny, my own cancer is me, it's hard to choose to fight

every waking moment there is the angry and driven and smarter voice who knows what he wants

almost asocial in demeanor, vicious and calculating with his moral mathematics, abusive with his taunts

and I have been him and so much more

he is only a step inside of an open door

to the quelled abomination,

somehow I keep this glass bottle that contains the note Tom running and happy

motivated, inspired, alive and in one piece, not at peace, not evil, not truly

with my frayed edges, shredding inward, toward tearing myself apart slowly

at bay enough to get far away enough that I will greet myself when I return with confetti

...And all these tidings oh, aren't they kind?