Do Not Trust Me I Am A Writer

write please read and enjoy

I wished I knew what you meant, the accusation after fighting

like a parasite, eating my retinas, I was blind

I turned my view back, further back inside, and I saw the guilt as plain as day that you were right, I was gaslighting!

Before I even knew what it was, what was wrong with me, I was a poison pill that collided with your life like an oil spill

and I could have left so many times, but I oozed back in to make you sicker still through sheer force of will

there's no forgiveness in my future, I am staring at a jury of myself

I have been on trial for so many wasted nights

chewing through brain tissue, nobody is home, but I left on these dull, blue lights

the worst part of me knows I didn't want to see

it took so long to come face to face with your meaning,

despite the clarity, my anger is a part of me

I accept your judgement for I am guilty

I named him and changed him, shuffled my actions under trickery

and played with the notion I didn't know my own identity

but it is no different than the explosive rage that lives in all the men in my family

I am a genetic failure, with the same predispositions

too late now, I know better than to extend another apology

my conscience is a dying machine, I have no naturally good inclinations

only self-interest and this numb and mundane suburban life of defeat!

I am in a luxurious, all-expenses-paid grave, watching my life go to waste from the most comfortable seat.