A Standing Flower

Zen

Have you ever seen a flower live through a battle? It's a rare thing. The earth is soaked in blood, the corpses lay one on top of the other hardly letting any space in between them. Every form of life extinguished. And yet in the midst of all that and against all odds, a small, beautiful flower stands, slightly moving with the breeze. A battle has been lived here, a battle that strong and trained men and women have fought and died, and yet a small untrained flower survived. Perhaps it's because of it's strength that these flowers seem the most beautiful of all. 

Zen smiled when he saw it, he ran to it and kneeled down, and for quite some time, while his men and women picked up the dead and buried them, he just stared at it. It was a green flower this time. It shone bright in the midst of all that darkness. It hadn't even bloomed and already it was so strong. It's petals wrapped tight one against the other, it's brown branch rooted strongly to the floor. Zen touched the flower with his right hand, and the flower noticing life shone a little brighter. Its maroon and brown leaf wrapping itself in Zen's finger. Zen heard his name called by Alt from behind him.
- "Stay strong little one." Zen spoke to the flower, then he stood up and turned to Alt and the others who were waiting for him with their usual patience and respect. "Today was a good battle, you were all quite competent in your fighting. Nell you have to improve your footwork and Jus improve your attack. And Ler, try a little teamwork." The three of them nodded, taking his critics admirably. 

Zen thought of their first day, how he'd had so much things to tell them to improve and how upset they were at him for telling them in front of everybody else. They'd grown up so much since then. They went from little boys and girls to grown young men and women. But they still had a long way to go. And today was the Election Ceremony, and he'd be given new boys and girls to turn into men and women. It was a little ironic that he had to train boys and girls when he himself wasn't that old to begin with. He was the youngest person to ever have become squad leader, at only twenty years of age. His second in command, Alt was also quite young for his charge and yet he was already ten years older than him. The oldest in his squad Ken, was only 57 years old, making his squad the one with the youngest members. But that didn't mean they were weak. They hadn't lost a battle yet, and Zen had no intention of ever doing so. When he'd been elected he'd been disappointed, the squad was in the lowest ranks and nobody valued it, but it took him only weeks to see the potential. And once he'd seen it, they became unstoppable.

Reviews

[Created to Write]

There are a few places where I see slip ups. (Everybody gets them.)

- Where it says 'The oldest in his squad was Ken, was only 57 years old. . ' You should take out a 'was.' It will make more sense if it says, 'The oldest in his squad, Ken, was only 57 years old. . .'
- When you put how they are 'good,' try to use a synonym. Maybe tell them they are getting better?

(Sorry for being picky. It's a habit.)

[Evey]

Don't feel sorry at all! The more you tell me to fix, the more I'll learn! Thank you!

[Created to Write]

So, is this a prologue? It seems like it could.

[Evey]

I like the idea, it makes more sense as a prologue than as a first chapter!