Bells

Annabelle has been gone......

                                    Preface

                       I stood and watched her weep. Her faced crumpled with pain and longing. Small pale hands covering her face. She spread her fingers apart only to reveal her milky blue eyes. She stared at me for what seemed like forever. Then slowly turned and walked away. Her name was Annabelle and that was the last time I saw her.

 

                       I sat on a damp wooden bench and waited for the bus to arrive. It was the first day to my last year of school. My last year of torture. I planned to move out as soon as that last bell rang. Ever since Annabelle walked out on me I have been driven to the brink of insanity. She was my rock, my shoulder to cry on, my best friend. She ran away with her boyfriend of 2 years in sophmore year. No one knows where she is or even if she is alive. Her boyfriend was controlling, abusive, and violent. Annabelle was trapped. Some say he kidnapped her, others she went voluntarily. But I know the truth.

 

                       A few weeks after her disappearence I was allowed into her room. I found a small gray leather book. It was bound with the zebra skin tie I gave to her in the first grade. I sat down on her lavender bedspread, weeping as I read. I cried myself to sleep. I awoke the next morning and felt someone caressing my shoulder. I turn slightly and saw Annabelle's tear streaked face. She was not ghost, but human, pure and whole. I sat up and hugged her. She pulled back and put her finger to her rose lips. And just as quickly as she came she was gone.

 

                         In that book were secrets not even I knew. Deep dark lies that she'd kept bottled up. Her leaving was surely her falling out. She exploded, like all the other drop-outs, druggies, and teen moms. In that book was a list, a list of all the horrible things she'd done, the people who'd she'd been with, and things I don't even understand. Frightening things, things that go all against practical law and belief. Some to terrible to repeat. Even on paper. I can not share with you today those dreadful things I read. But I can let you  know that Annabelle is very much alive. I regret to tell you that you would find her very much changed.

 

                          Now, Annabelle's story won't matter much. I assure you that she will never be found. It is my story that matters now.

 

                        

                      

Author's Note

Please be brutally truthful but not disrespectful. Forgive any grammatical errors, if you do come upon any, please do tell me. I greatly appreciate it. This may or may not continue.

Reviews

[Matthew Ian Herrawood W]

its good but i think the begining needs to be changed you go from talking about Annabelle to talking about you and school and back to her again this was confusing for me and ruind the flow. rather than the break in between "...the last time i saw her" and "i sat on the damp wooden bench..." you might consider puting in somthig like "these were the thoughts that ran through my mind as i sat on the damp wooden bench" just a thought. it needs a bit more re working but apart from that... cant wait to read more

[writing_for_you]

I like it. The story has a way of pulling the reader in. When i read that it makes me wonder what lays in that grey book. It makes me wonder the true story of annabelles disappearance. It also makes me wonder if the person reading the grey book will ever tell what really happened. I think there could be a little more to this story.

[Jessie Sianodel]

truthfully I wan too into the story to notice any mistakes. I just want to keep reading!

Really good start, I like it!

[bornsavinglives]

You seem to flourish best in the form where your looking through someone elses eyes in first person. Ironic for a girl who does not like to keep journals. One of the paragraphs becomes a bit a abrupt and switches time slightly too quickly. But other than that I see no problems.

XEmmaX

[Sunflower/Sara Kendrick]

Well, I got lost in there somewhere and am not exactly what the story is about...Sunflower

[EverEmma]

Thank you

[JuliePetunia]

I like it, it's interesting, and you definitely grabbed my attention! I'm not going to be the spelling and grammar hoe I usually am because I'm too tired, but just know that it needs lots of fixing, for instance, instead of putting a lot of periods, replace them with commas to help the flow of your story. :)

[Wicahpi]

Some suggested edits:

"Some say her kidnapped her, others she went voluntarily." ~ 'some say (he) kidnapped her, others (say or feel) she went ..."

"A few weeks after her disapearence," ~ (disappearance)

"bed spread, read, and weeped" ~ (bedspread), weeping as I read.

I am left with unanswered questions which would make for another
chapter in this story. How did she appear without a word, then
simply vanish again. Why? The question is did she go willingly?
The journal is key ...

Over all I like the concept, it just needs more now.
A continuation to understand what, why and where.
A good start :)