I know why this angel sings..

A Poem by Ève

‪I know why the caged bird sings..‬

Why it plays on a heart of strings..

Little did it know..

To the skies they overflow..

This silent hymn, beating strong..

In a soul that grew with every song..

Each gave a feather of gold..

Little by little they now unfold..

They bloomed into fiery wings..

I know why..this angel sings..

© 2018 Ève

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register

Reviews

Karmee

Wow, so very creative and so well written. Very beautiful write

Posted 5 Years Ago

Silvan

This reminds me of a lot of "I know why the Caged Bird Sings" by Mya Angelou. Its likeness is impeccable but nonetheless beautiful. It's fluid, transparently thick in meaning. Keep up the good works.

Posted 5 Years Ago

Suhd	Very very deep. And wonderful. Posted 5 Years Ago Very very deep. And wonderful. Rating /100

Onlyme

Soulfully sweet and a delightful poem. Eve.

Posted 5 Years Ago

Coyote Poetry

Wonderful use of words and thoughts. You made the reader fall into your words. The story in the poem led the reader to the perfect ending. Thank you Eve for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

Posted 5 Years Ago

Pete	this is so sweet and beautiful. i'd like to hold onto that song. simply heavenly ... :) Posted 5 Years Ago this is so sweet and beautiful. i'd like to hold onto that song. simply heavenly ... :) Rating /100

JayG

I like the thought. But... (and there's always a "but," isn't there?)

A few things you might want to look into:

First: The ellipsis is three dots (some use four if it ends a sentence), and indicates a trailing off or hesitation. In this case, I'd drop the ending punctuation because they add nothing.

Keep in mind that the line ending rhyme isn't the focus of the poem, only an accent, so forcing the line to the needs of the rhyme detracts. The rhyme should appear almost accidental—the perfect word to express the thought. And the thought should NEVER be forced to the needs of rhyming.

And never, never, never, resort to "Yoda speak" as you did in "to the skies they overflow." Such a phrase sounds unnatural when spoken aloud, as poetry should be.

And finally, the most important thing: prosody, the rhythmic flow of words. Think of a structured poem like this in the same way you would a song. Each line is composed of a series of beats, generated by the flow of stressed and unstressed syllables, in a pattern that repeats by stanzas like the verses in a song. Doing that gives the reader a feeling that there's a drumbeat playing in accompaniment. Like paragraphing, it helps organize the piece by thought.

To see what I mean, take a look at Robert Service's classic, The Cremation of Sam McGee on Shmoop:
http://www.shmoop.com/cremation-sam-mcgee/poem-text.html

It' a fun poem, one has been entertaining for over 100 years. As you read, there's not only a drumbeat booming in the background, notice how it helps you become part of the poem: a performer. It's worth reading the explanation and analysis that follows the poem, to understand what Mr. Service did to produce that feeling.

And while you're at it, take a look at the excerpt from Stephen Fry's, The Ode Less Traveled, on Amazon. I recommend it to those writing any kind prose, for what it has to say about the structure of language, and who to make it flow easily and well.

But over and above anything else, hang in there, and keep on writing.

Jay Greenstein
https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/

Posted 5 Years Ago

I like the thought. But... (and there's always a "but," isn't there?)

A few things you might want to look into:

First: The ellipsis is three dots (some use four if it ends a sentence), and indicates a trailing off or hesitation. In this case, I'd drop the ending punctuation because they add nothing.

Keep in mind that the line ending rhyme isn't the focus of the poem, only an accent, so forcing the line to the needs of the rhyme detracts. The rhyme should appear almost accidental—the perfect word to express the thought. And the thought should NEVER be forced to the needs of rhyming.

And never, never, never, resort to "Yoda speak" as you did in "to the skies they overflow." Such a phrase sounds unnatural when spoken aloud, as poetry should be.

And finally, the most important thing: prosody, the rhythmic flow of words. Think of a structured poem like this in the same way you would a song. Each line is composed of a series of beats, generated by the flow of stressed and unstressed syllables, in a pattern that repeats by stanzas like the verses in a song. Doing that gives the reader a feeling that there's a drumbeat playing in accompaniment. Like paragraphing, it helps organize the piece by thought.

To see what I mean, take a look at Robert Service's classic, The Cremation of Sam McGee on Shmoop:
http://www.shmoop.com/cremation-sam-mcgee/poem-text.html

It' a fun poem, one has been entertaining for over 100 years. As you read, there's not only a drumbeat booming in the background, notice how it helps you become part of the poem: a performer. It's worth reading the explanation and analysis that follows the poem, to understand what Mr. Service did to produce that feeling.

And while you're at it, take a look at the excerpt from Stephen Fry's, The Ode Less Traveled, on Amazon. I recommend it to those writing any kind prose, for what it has to say about the structure of language, and who to make it flow easily and well.

But over and above anything else, hang in there, and keep on writing.

Jay Greenstein
https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/

Rating /100

Einstein Noodle

thank you for taking me on this birds song flight ... the image of the caged bird singing ever more sweetly and strongly ... making itself free and of great benefit to others ... i want to keep this one with me today Eve.... thanks so much for sharing!
E.