Complete

Poem about insanity

I felt empty, emotionless, fragile. I felt like I was underwater, clawing my way to the surface, to take a breath of sanity.
I never had rest, I screamed as loud as I could, but no one could hear me.
I sat in the light, slept in the dark, and put on a mask when I smiled.
There are few memories from my young adult life that I remember to be ‘happy’.
I wanted something, but I hadn’t an idea of what it was.
I was tortured by my own thoughts and I didn’t understand the way I was feeling, that made me angry, it made me scared.

But one thing I did understand was when I killed him.
I felt something.
For the first time, I felt something.
When I felt his blood between my fingers I knew what happiness felt like.
When I saw the fear in his eyes and the pain, I felt joy.
When I cut off his hands, I felt strong.
When I cut his face, I felt full.
When he died, I felt complete.