Piss and Vinegar

God d****t where's mah whiskey
Ah need sumptin fer mah troat.

Somebody find mah god damn whiskey!
Mah back's a achin and mah troats dry.

Jesus Christ cain't nobody he'ah me?
Where's my god damn whiskey?

Bessie?  Junior?  Annabelle?
Where ya'all at fer cryin out loud?

Well al'right then ahs jus get mah own god damn whiskey,
ever-body lazy round he'ah even the god damn dog ain't around.

Maybe tis he'ah in the kitchen.
No.

Maybe ah left some up stairs,
gotta go up ta god damn stairs.

Christ tain't up he'ah neither.
Bessie!  Where you at?

Ah can't find mah god damn whiskey!
Junior god d****t where you at?

Jesus Christ ahm all alone he'ah.
All alone.  Where the Sam hell'd ever-body go?

Well ah be god dammed.  This he'ah chair all old and busted up.
Shoot this ain't no god damn house ah remember!

Why the hell am ah in this god damn forsaken place?
What kinda place is this anyways?

A hell hole that's what it is.
A god damn hell hole.

Cobwebs eva'where.  Looky he'ah even these windas is broken.
Damn that's strange.  Don't look like nobodys lived he-ah fo yeeahs.

What's that ot ta winda?  A gravestone? Rhat the'ah in ta front yard?
Whose grave stone that be?

What's it say the'ah on that there marka? 
 
Here lies Sam Helton

Why that be me! 
What ta Sam hell?

What's ta rest of it say?

Full of piss and vinegar.
Keep the damn house you ole coot.

Well ah be damned.

Author's Note

Just a figment of my imagination. Ahs don't knows nobody likes dis.

Reviews

[Christina May Shanaberg]

Looks like we have been writing in the same ballpark these days. I really liked this one; it's kind of where my mind has been, lately. I like the down-home folks, because they are real. Great poem and a perfect ending.

[Gomer LePoet]

Interesting piece here. Not your traditional poetry, but entertaining for sure. And thats wut I look for the most. something funny or thought provking, whatever as long as I can say Im glad i read that, and I am glad I read this.

[Phoenix]

Hahaha very good! It was hard to tell where this was going at first. It was kind of funny but kind of serious, and I guess it pretty much ended that way. But very clever and well done! Dis here uh fine piece o' writin'! ;D

[ettorney]

Took out the last line. Left the second to last line which is not the last line JP was referring too. Now its the last line of course but you already knew that.

[James Paulin]

Very entertaining and well crafted. The story reminds me of an old episode of the Twilight Zone. I like your creativity.