It wasn’t that he didn’t love her. He couldn’t love her. The pain of
her absence was as real to him as the scar running down his neck and
across his shoulder. His existence without her seemed empty.
Purposeless. But the pain of her presence, the painful intimacy they
shared, the embrace that gave him the scar, was far worse. His anguish
at his predicament was overwhelming.
Damn this corpus! How weak
is this flesh that its spirit sought out the one being in the entire
universe whose love was forbidden to him? His torment at the thought of
the inevitable union that will transform him into something other was
absolute. Until that time, he could only suffer in solitude. In space
there is no sound. In his mind, the universe screamed with the echoes
of his pain.
She didn’t think. Not in the sense that a human or
other sentient might. She didn’t know either. Nor did she doubt or
question. She existed as a symbiont, dependent on the mind and soul of
another sentience. She was a NuVahn. Her dark leathery skin, covering a
bipedal frame was unique among her kind. She was an aberration born of
a union between her clutch mother and a species known to them only as
Uman. Her siblings were properly limbless and lung less, granting them
the freedom of the ether among the stars. She was bound by her biology
to the planet’s surface.
Although she was bound her song was
free. She sang to the heavens of her need. She sang of the emptiness
she felt but most of all she sang for him. In time her song had reached
out and found him. So long had she sought out her host and lover whom
she would inevitably join, transcending together to become Nirgal. The
United One.
Now, he was here and she had nearly killed him,
scarring his flesh in her passion and haste. Her initial connection to
him was far stronger than any song her kind had sung before. Responding
to her song had changed him in a way that made her fear for their
joining. She knew he loved her in the manner of his species. He had
explained to her the complexity of the Uman heart and the connection to
its mind. He had shared with her, or she took from him an understanding
of his Uman soul; a soul that was tormented by pain.
She
understood that love to the Uman was the same as the song of bonding
for her. It wasn’t that she didn’t desire the bond of transcendence
with him. She couldn’t transcend with him. For, if they embraced, gave
into their need for each other, the Nirgal they became would kill them.