In Your Relm

A poem about my friend, whose name is in the title, whom I had/have a very on-off crush on, and there have been hints that he feels the same way. But he's a Pisces, and he likes to play like one too.

Your eyes of apatite shade singe like fire,

You fuel the claws of my latent desire,

Shy like a rabbit,

Prancing like a deer,

Sly like a fox,

Prey without fear

 

Your lips curve like violent waves in the sea,

You tease and taunt just to run away from me,

Seductive as sin,

Quiet as night,

You pull me in,

And it’s not quite right

 

Your angry words against mine are very few,

I struggled against my lock and chain, you knew,

Bit my conscious,

Kissed my pride,

Sensed my longing,

Locked tight inside

 

Your words are comforting to my seething beast,

You gave me false hope, you were sincere at least,

Gone like the wind,

Back like the sun,

Fueling my visions,

Then turning to run

Author's Note

What do you think? Does this portray my emotions in an interesting fashion?

And yes, I meant to put Relm, not realm. Relm is the person I am writing about.

Reviews

[SmittyJas]

I like the whole works here easy to read Brings me in (You tease and taunt then just run away) sounds like she full of playing games. Gone like the wind Back like the sun fueling my vision and turning to run. Capturing the fun of this poem well you taunt you tease your sinful as hell and I think that's swell.

[songstress]

I like it. the idea of someone as innocent as a rabbit, possessing the grace of the dear... Yet, having the cunning of a fox to keep you bound to constantly entice. It resonates something within myself. I've and pardon me for overstepping boundaries have had my own pride teased, I've known better yet remained with something similar. You have a very empathetic view point and a very interesting way of painting a picture. It reminds me of some sort of fable at first taking a turn for the worst. it's very beautiful. As is your other haiku on your page.