Haiku-When You Sleep

Haiku-When You Sleep

A Poem by VertoAtrum
"

Sleep is a strange thing

"

When you are sleeping

Who keeps your soul inside you

Does it float away

© 2013 VertoAtrum


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It's something to think about. It's a really good haiku though, 3 sentences of awesomeness.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Interesting question. Perhaps you should expand on this koan. When you are sleeping, who tends your soul? Who is goading your dreams into action? Who directs your heart and breath? If you float away, will you ever come back? I envision this could be a series of haikus. The think I think all great haikus have in common is a kind of koan at their heart. This certainly fulfills that necessity, but I feel you could expand on it.

Posted 10 Years Ago


I like the idea of your soul floating
I though I might try a haiku too, after reading yours.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rogie-Dodge

10 Years Ago

Did you see my haiku's ??
VertoAtrum

10 Years Ago

Not yet, but I will definitely check them out :)
VALENTINE

10 Years Ago

Loved it just the right amount of words

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296 Views
3 Reviews
Rating
Added on December 16, 2013
Last Updated on December 23, 2013
Tags: haiku, sleeping, dreaming, soul, projecting, lost

Author

VertoAtrum
VertoAtrum

ME



About
My name is Matthias. I am 24 years old. I'm a Leo. Also an ENTP. My passions include writing, drawing, music, and psychology. I have been writing since I was very young. Sci-fi, fantasy, and horro.. more..

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