Discovery

(Originally written 2006)

 

Ive recently discovered a love thats rare to find,
one thats beyond beautiful and one of a kind
one that makes my heart filler and start to race,
the one id wait a millenia to see her face
a love that makes hell seem a little brighter
a love that wont die out as its a fighter
a love that cant be paralleled
a love that cant diminish or dispelled
a love that comes with an unequaled desire
a love that moves through me like a raging fire

this is to a very special someone in my life and they know who they are

Recently edited with help of a friend

I've recently discovered a love thats rare to find

It goes beyond beauty divine

She makes my heart flutter and race

I'd give up all for a glimpse of her face

Her love makes my hell countless times brighter

Our love won't fade becuase it is a fighter

This love cannot be paralleled

It won't be diminished or dispelled

It comes with unequaled desire

Burning through me with a hot raging fire

and this is still to a special person in my life and she knows who she is.

Reviews

[Hello, Goodbye]

Candor and blatant honesty can often do more in love poetry than a heap of smilies I think.. You did a fine job with that here.

[Flo]

Thats a well done piece, repatition can be seen in there, nice use of description and truely can be understood, most love poems I read in the past were just gushing with impossible descriptions, this one is quite good in writing, sweet with 2 stanzas and can be quoted, a favorite!

-Flo

[Jason]

Not bad. I like the fact you are repeating the message but maybe at times a little much. I'm not huge on writing poems so i cant be the judge on this matter. I think its a nice poem and you wrote it well. Keeping the same voice through out is key and you do that here nicely. Overall good stuff and i look forward to reading more of your work.