Caramel-colored Memories

      Adam looked at her with such contrition. He knew that she’d given herself to him, irrevocably, and that he’d masked the scent of her perfume with the musk of his pride. Had it always been this way? Back when Adam was 5, the worst he’d felt was the lego tower he’d made, crumbling down before the final bits of leftover pieces were added. Somehow, as he sat at the end of the kitchen table 22 years later, where the once fresh coffee with two sugars had splashed at the corner when her sip was too hot, felt like that lego tower. The coffee was a reflection that collapsed over the mug and splashed upon his life, etching a stain that, when returning each morning to that table, forged tears in his eyes; and they too crashed.

      Her face; the spectacular sight of it entangled his very being and with it, brought his hand to his eyes. His face had contorted into a million different expressions but they all led to one feeling; anguish. His tears rolled down like thunder and crashed upon the photograph in his hands like waves to rock. His weeping had turned to sobbing, for he felt diminished. Had he just stopped her as she stormed past the dim-lighted doorway, maybe, just maybe she wouldn’t have left. He blamed himself whole-heartedly for losing her.

      "Why … oh God. Oh my God. I failed you, sweetheart.…"

      He sobbed hysterically, clasping a hand to his mouth for fear of hearing the sounds of such a sob. He tried to stand but his knees buckled and then - all at once - gave in. And he fell to them, dropping the photograph, his hands covering his face. He beckoned to the sky, as if to some celestial being.

      "It was supposed to be me! It was always supposed to be me, and you took her from me! She did nothing to you, God d****t, and you ruined her. How could you reach down and pull the breath right out of her chest?! Answer me, you selfish son-of-a-b***h!"

      He panted heavily, still sobbing but now exhausted from such grief. Isn’t it strange? We live our lives perfectly capable of being happy without another human being. Coincidence; they come into our lives when we need them most and etch for themselves a place in our heart. We conceive this love - “our love" - and for a moment we’re happy. We never see it coming. Believing that every second is owed to us because of the made-up concept that life owes us everything.

      He reflected on how his life changed when the tires screeched, maliciously crashing itself into the body of a living person. And as he widened his eyes in utter shock, he got up almost instantaneously and peered outward of his window; the once vibrant face of his lover now … blank. The argument replayed in his mind.

      "Why couldn’t you have just been a little more responsible, huh? Is it so goddamn difficult to put the whiskey down and come to one of my piano recitals? Jeez, Adam. I do so much for you and you can’t be there to watch me perform what I love doing?” she said angrily, her eyes burning red from frustration.

      "I’m--"

      "You’re what, Adam? Sorry?! It’s just a silly f*****g word that people spew when they have nothing more to give. Don’t apologize to me. Apologize to yourself for being such a wreck."

      She grabbed for her coat and then turned hastily, reaching for the doorknob and pulling it with such force that it left a dent in the caramel-colored wall.

      "I’m sorry," he softly cried out. He wept throughout the night, null of everything but her face in the photograph and the sound of screeching tires along the pavement.

Author's Note

Please, do not refrain from grammatical corrections and/or constructive criticism. The more I receive, the better my writing can become and the easier they can be for you to enjoy.

Reviews

[Bob Sherunkle]

I liked it! Especially thereason behind the word sorry,when they cant give anything more.