Things are great, right?

WARNING: This get a little racy, so if you're not into that you are cable of skipping over it.

And I'm if this chapter seem confusing and bipolar, its kind of suppose to be.

 

I was in my bed making out with my boyfriend.

My boyfriend…it felt great saying that.

My boyfriend Matt.

Matt, my boyfriend.

My boyfriend is Matt.

Matthew Edwards is my boyfriend.

My boyfriend is Matthew Edwards.

He pulled away to get air, "Wow" he grasped lying on top of my bare chest with his

hand sliding against my side.

"Yea" I giggled, moving my hand under his T-shirt. He wasn't ready to take it off yet,

but he let me put my hands underneath it.

He took a breath and move in on my mouth again. I clutched his back. I could help to start moving my hips up and down. He moaned and I could feel him getting hard. I slid my hand down to his jeans. My fingers curved around to his fly.

"Jamie" he said siting up.

"What?" I huffed. Then I rolled my eyes removing my hand. "Oh that."

"I love this and I want to do more, I defiantly want to do 'that'. I really do. Just not now. I just want our first time to be more special. Really special."

I had to keep reminding myself that unlike me, Matt was still a total virgin and unlike me he actually really cared about where his virginity went. He was the type of guy that believed in "making love" rather than just sex.

I nodded and threw up my hands, "Okay"

%%%%%%

Alfreda opened her envelope "I'm in" she cheered.

I took a picture of her; she made it a glam shot of course.

Shawna opened up hers, her mouth gasped and she screamed, "I'm in".

She gave me a sweet smile, which was my cue to take a picture.

Mac then ripped open his, "I'm in. They let me in."

He raised his arms up and I took a photo.

Then they all stared at me.

"Okay let's be honest." My boyfriend commented as handed me mine, "This one was a tough one, but I know you have worked hard and I love you don't matter what."

I smiled him, I loved his support. But I didn't honestly think I would get in. My grades weren't as bad, but not that good. Donovan made me write this essay about how I grew up, he said to play strengthens. I opened it. When my eyes glazed at the words "accepted you", I choked.

"Jamie? You okay?"

"I got in" I whispered.

The girls clapped and Matt threw his arm around me and kissed my neck.

I was in shock. I couldn't believe it. I had gotten into college…but it scared me. I didn't know how to make it in college. Thinking about it stressed me out.

"Um…I'm sure if I want to go."

"What?" Matt asked.

"I think I might not go."

"No" He grasped.

"I just need time to think" I tried to reassure him.

"What?" His voice started to raise.

Here we go. I knew he would upset. Knowing Matt for long as I have I knew that he overreacted when plans changed.

"You have to go or your ruin your life."

I raised my eyebrow on that one. "Okay that's a bit dramatic."

He rolled his eyes then shook his head, "Dramatic? Isn't screwing up our plans dramatic?

Isn't turning down a great college dramatic?"

I got up from the seat, "I just need time to think about it. Not everybody has be a tightass like you. "

Alfreda and Shawna nervously sat in the booth trying to figure out how sneak out.

"Well not everybody downgrades themselves to always being white trash." Matt hit.

The second he realized what he said he soften, "Jamie I didn't mean..."

I grabbed my coke and threw it at him, ""Faced it Matthew" I yelled, "It was only a matter of time."

I wasn't sure if this seriously happening but I knew that I wanted to cry. I wanted to fall to my knees and cry. The lines between overreacting and real fighting were now blurry.

I ran out.

%%%%

"What is wrong with you Hunter?" Donovan smirked blasting into the apartment.

I rolled my eyes, "What did you hear?"

He sat down next to me, "I hear that you are turning down two great opportunities."

"Two opportunities?"

"Yes, two opportunities. One is not going to college, where you would thrive. Two is letting Edwards, who you know is good for you, slip through your fingers."

"I'm scared Tony." I blurted out.

"Scared of what?"

"Scared of failing. I can't help to think that if I go out there I'm destined to fail. Tony

nobody in my family has gone to college. Nobody has been successful and there's a reason for that."

"Hunter…"

"What will I even do in college?"

"Do you want to know what I think? I think you should consider a writing carrier. English. Literature. Creative Writing. That's the stuff you should go into. You know it's what you love. You know it's what you're great at. That's what you should do."

I was looking down at the floor, "I don't know."

"Hunter you own it to yourself to have a good life. What do you see for your life?"

"Well in reality…"

He put his hand up, "No don't think about reality right now. What do you want? If you had it your way?"

I rubbed my temples, "If I had it my way…I would want to write…poetry, books, and maybe even a play." I chuckled, "And I would want to live in a fabulous apartment, it doesn't have to be that big and fancy but nice. I wouldn't want to move around, I've done that enough. But I also wouldn't want to live a normal, predictable life either. So

I would like to live somewhere interesting and cultured city...with the guy, yea a guy, it can keep me grounded and thrill me at the same time. We would go to like the plays and stuff together and it'll be have fun. We would go a worldly vacations, to actually go on a vacation and not to run away"

I meant all of that. I really did.

Donvan smiled and nodded, "That sounds reachable"

The truth is that I was still sacred of the future and I still had this nagging feeling, I wasn't sure why yet. But I put on a fake smile, "Yea. Okay I'll do it."

%%%%%

I invited Matt over. He was closed off to it at first and I begged him. I told him that I had something very important to say. The second he walked in, I dragged him to the couch.

I grabbed his hands, "Matt, I think I'm going. I'm going to try college."

I could the warmth as put his arms around my back, "That's great" he cheered into my ear.

I hugged him back, tightly. I breathe it in. It was hugs this like that made me both excited and scared for what I was about do you do.

I pulled him closer and took another deep breath, "Which means I'm going to be moving into a dorm, so maybe…"

He pulled back smiling at me, "You and me? Move in together?"

I nodded.

"I must be the luckiest boy in the world" he gave a peck on the lips, "Oh Jamie, I'm glad you decided to go with me."

%%%%

We walked into our dorm, our dorm…oh my, our dorm, that made me feel fidgeting and a good and bad way. I looked around. Okay size. One Bathroom. Two beds...yea, I wasn't sure yet what the sleeping situation was.

I just bit my lip and mumbled, "This is the fifth place I've moved to."

"This is amazing" Matt cheered out. Yea, he was one of those people.

Then all the family loudly walked in carrying the rest of the bags. Yea, they were one of families. They all awed and marbled over the dorm.

I just rolled my eyes.

Then Mr. Edwards pulled me into a group hug, and I didn't feel as annoyed.

"Well, thanks. I'll call you tommrow." Matt waved his family out.

He slammed the door and pulled me by the neck into a kiss. "We were college guys now."

"Yea, I know" I smirked.

"You okay?"

I laid down on the bed. "You know Matt…I hear that they do poetry slams on Friday nights."

He flopped down next to me, "You think you might share something."

"I think I just might" I rolled on to my side, "So you are going into the film program?"

He nodded, "Yea" He chuckled. "Wow, so you'll be a writer and I'll be a filmmaker. What a life we'll live huh?"

I felt uneasy hearing that. I knew I should have felt happy but...I couldn't.

Matt was moving his hand up and down my stomach.

"Jamie" he whispered in this deep…sexy voice.

He started kissing me…really rough. I grabbed his butt and moved on top of him. I pulled my shirt over my chest.  But Matt quickly grabbed my hips and pinned me down to the bed. Then…then he started unbuttoning his shirt, I didn't question it, I reach up and helped him. The shirt came off and wow he got buff. What a man.

I excitedly licked my lips as I watched him take both of our pants off. His hands moved up my body and started kissing me again. The rough kissing. The way our bodies were rubbing against each other.

There was no doubt that either of us was gay now.

So much heat. So much lust. I couldn't take it anymore.

"F**k me" I whimpered widening my legs.

He let out a breath, "What?"

"I understand if you're not ready. But I really want it."

He stared into spaced for a few seconds, then kissed me again. A soft slow kiss.

"You want it?"

"Take me" I whimpered.

He smiled down at me, "Oh my god this is perfect. Our first time on our first day living together in our first apartment…well dorm, but you know what I mean. Now, that I know that we are sure to have a future together, yes, yes I want to do it."

Frist time. Yea, this was his first, first time.

I grabbed his shoulders and bent my knees. He shifted down. I looked up at the ceiling and bit my lip. I didn't think Matt would know what to do…hell I didn't really know what to do.

It felt a little strange a first. Feeling him…insert himself "inside" of me. But then…

"Whoo" I yelled out.

"Is that a good whoo?" He asked.

I nodded, "Oh yea"

He started moving. It was very slow at first but I could felt the speed changing when

he moaned out "whoo"

I kept screaming, my tingling body naturally jerking up and down. It was the first time

I had felt such overwhelming pleasure. I started digging my hands into his back. Matt was kissing my neck as he increased the speed and moaning.

"Harder Matt. Go as fast as you can."

He raised his head to look deep into my eyes and sweetly whispered, "Are you sure? I don't want to hurt you or anything."

I ran my fingers though his curls and kissed him, "Trust me Mac, out of all the things that have hurt me this ain't going to be one on them."