The make-up is ruined

"You kissed him?"

He wouldn't look at me, "Well I think it was more like he kissed me...What am I going to do?"

I put my hands on my temples, "So you...like him? Larry?"

He shook his head, "No, not like that. I mean he's okay, but it wasn't like that. It just happened...and...it feel.."

"Good?" I guessed.

He looked at the floor and blinked, "It conformed everything that I've been trying to ignore for half my life."

I nodded.

%%%%

Matt didn't want to talk about it on the way home. 

He just sat next to Alfreda on the school bus in silence. I would see her looking over at me a few times. But I just opened a book and looked away.

%%%%

There was banging on our door.

Alfreda stood at my door. Black lines running down her face.

The make-up was ruined.

"Did you know?" she screamed.

"What?" I asked.

"Matt kissed Larry"

Oh S**t.

I nodded, "Yea"

She started crying again.

I motioned for her to come in. She sat down on the couch. She squeezed my arm as I sat down next to her.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Matt just told me." She cried.

I bit my lip and closed my eyes.

"I'm sorry…I…I don't know what to say."

"I'm not shocked that he kissed a guy."

"You're not?"

"I kind of always suspect he was attracted to boys." She shook her head, "We even tried to talk to about it couple of times. I could never directly ask him. I thought it ruined our relationship…and we had planned this big future together...and like him I wanted that so much that I tried to ignore it."

I handed her a tissue box.

She blew her nose and chuckled, "What I am shocked about is I always thought it would be with you." She stared up at me.

The make-up was ruined, "I've known all along that you were gay. Ever since the you did the film."

She was always a smart girl. Of course she would have figured me out.

She took a breath, "I always thought if Matthew ever kissed a guy behind my back that it would be you." She placed her head on my shoulder, still looking up at me, "You would be worth it. You would've been worth us breaking up. Really James you would. If I caught you two, I wouldn't have thought of it as betrayal, I would have thought of it as true love coming though."

I wasn't going to tell her that I wished it was me too. "So what's next? What are we going to do now Alfreda?"

She wiped her eyes, "For the first time in my life, I don't know the answer."