HIM!

An expression of what rape feels like

The blood running down my arms, like the tears that flow from my heart
His voice in my head, echoing like a police siren
I just wish I saw the danger
Though his arms aren’t on me anymore, my body burns in all the places he touched.
Sure my eyes sting and my cuts swell with pain, but nothing hurts me more than the words that left his mouth

I’m a mirror to him, because he stared at my body as if he were admiring his new figure
He told me stories, whispers in my ears of the kisses he gave me while I slept
Kisses were meant to be sweet but his made me wish I had needles being pushed into my head instead
His fingers were like bullets that shattered me the second they touched my skin
The ache in my heart is nothing compared to the words that left his mouth

I wonder how a rubbish dump would feel if it knew that my flesh is dirtier than its content
Would it envy me? or would it would cry with me as polluted rivers streamed down my cheeks
Cleanliness I know no more because he covered me in filth
No matter what I do, I know my littered streets will never become clean again
Strangely, my filth is nothing compared to the words that left his mouth

I wish I was free, but he haunts me more than the ghosts I talk to at night
I wish I let him go, but he’s stitched himself into the fabric of my soul
He’s a part of me I have to keep
I have no love for him but hell fires burn in my veins, fuelling my desire to kill him
I want to hurt him like he hurt me
Sadly my desire flows out of me with the blood that pours from the cuts his words left on me

Reviews

[William Michael Reeves]

Holy cow Esther! I, as a man, can't even know where to begin to feel about your poem. To try for empathy leaves me empty, I have no experience. And sympathy has no place as I attempt to feel what you see. But your words hurt me as they should be ... Words that I hope sharing help you be free and for all good men, please, accept my apology.

Billigami

[Esther:)]

Thank you so much :)
It was a nightmare to experience but I’m stronger than he was. I know that not all men are trash. But a few men are very much so

[William Michael Reeves]

I've written about the subject in a way. In a few poems. I watch the news every day and have known women who can relate. Toxic masculinity is the bringer of many evils. I have tried to apologize for my peers who seem to have no control. If interested my poem 'I Am A Man' is on my 6th page. I try to be one of the men I write of in the fifth stanza. 'In The Eye Is Beauty' touches the subject as well. Turn his words into a poem to diffuse their power.

[Chris]

We forgive sooo much, soooo often - until we can't; but we NEVER forget.

Why don't we tend to notice what we lose as we lose it - instead of having the guilt and the pain behind our eyes and soul-crushing nightmares later?

One glitch: "I have no love him but hell fires burn in my veins," - no love him, is missing a word.