"Proxy by Silence"

Reflection can be depressing but when you arrive at a conclusion to let go, it can be bittersweet but also freeing.

You abandoned
all semblance
Of the life we had.
You apparently didn't have to go
As far as I 
to lie to yourself
That you weren't guilty for
what it was
you inevitably would become.

It feels as if I've been
Running away aimlessly 
for the two of us;
All the anger that covered fear,
all the times we felt smaller through the years.

I didn't think you would let me bare 
Guilt if we're supposed to heal.

You're older and still running
And for as long as my memory serves 
I've been subsisting on false hope
That my best dreams will reimburse...

A prelude to a warning...

Now there are too many
Causes for concern
It's funny what we reveal when 
We're dodging each other's messages;
Evading the overtures
By the proxy of silence

The sterility of reserve...

I don't want to run 
until I can't
because it hurts.