Somethings We Just Don't Want to Talk About

She was slowly dying before my eyes. They were murders in my eyes and I couldn't do anything to save her. (Real Story) Audience rated Teen due of Mild Language

  

"Somethings We Just Don't Want to Talk  About"
By Esmee

 

The day when my grandma, mom and I went to the nursing home to visit my Great Grandma was really heart wenching. The Nursing home was nice looking on the outside, cut grass, fleshly painted, rocking chairs on the pouch and flowers planted by every tree. I have a motto I always go on. 'Looks can be deceiving' The place looked nice in anyway possible. Now on to the reason why I'm here with my mom and grandma. We are here to visit my grandmother mother because of the phone calls from my great aunt. I didn't exactly known my great grandmother. I only met her once at her house a month ago, and back then she was healthy as a ox. She greeted me nicely with a smile on her face and told me all kind of things about my grandma childhood I didn't know.  I instantly loved her from the bottom of my heart even through that was our first visit. She's my great grandma. She is distant family.   
 
"Are you ready?" I whispered to my grandma, passing up many old people sitting in their chairs and looking in thin air. One guy smiled at me and exclaimed-"My grand daughter arrived. Please come here and say hello to me!" I didn't know this guy, but the weight of my heart is heavy when mom told me this guy history a small bit "He lost his grand daughter in a fire." My mom works here. She knows mostly everyone. I took few steps towards the old guy, not having the courage just to run away from him. I smiled. I pretended to be someone that I am not...but if its just make this person happy...worry free, he be okay. "Hello Grandpa." I said warmly, and I was suddenly pulled in a soft embrace, crying. "You never visit me anymore. I thought you have forgotten me." He said tiredly through my neck. I returned his embrace with a fake smile. "I could never forget you grandpa, not in a million years." I replied back cheery, "My sweet old Aly.." He cried, and I pulled out of his embrace. "Grandpa, mom wants me to come to the other side of the building. I have to go ok." I said, suddenly feeling sick. The oldman let go of me, completely and smiled.  He seemed more happy.  "Come back soon, my dear. I missed you."  
"Sure thing, grandpa." 
 
I left, my mom reached me patting my back and my grandma nodded her head approving. I did a nice deed. Then we were set for our main mission. Visit my great grandma.  
 
We all walked towards these double doors. With a huge red button on the side and instantly I knew. This is where they keep the old people who lost their memories. My heart beated faster at the thought of the woman behind these cold double doors.  Mom pressed the red button, my grandma retreated backward, as the doors opened for the three of us. "I-I can't do it." My grandma stumbled over, fear written on her face. I place a hand on grandma's back softly, "You have to visit your mom, momo. I'm sure she misses you." I spoke softly. 'How can a person missed you have no memory of your life.' I thought. My grandma, gained back her strength little by little.  
 
"We can do this." I said encouraging.  
Mom worked here for two years, so she knew the way.  
We followed her to room by room.  
"She's missing" I said the obvious, feeling stupid afterwards. 
 
"She might be in the waiting area." Mom stated, and we followed her. We walked in the room that is filled with old people and a few nurses. I looked around, my eyes scanning many faces. My heart beats faster with each face. "There she is." Grandma stated, nervously making her way to a single woman that is tied to a chair in the corner. Staring up at the ceilling, muttering riddles insane like. My grandma kneed beside her.  
 
and I watched. My heart broken at the sight. This is clearly not the strong woman I have met a month ago. This woman in front of me was nothing more than a shadow of her former self.  All kind of bruises covered her arms and legs, and her eyes are almost void of all life. She wasn't that woman that talked, walked, ate normally anymore.  
 
"Mom, I'm here."  Grandma introduced herself softly and somewhere in her voice was happiness. Happiness to see her own mother.  
Great Grandmother looked at Grandma with a longing look. 
"You went to school. School is cancelled?" Her voice was tired.  
 
I stared in shock. My mom watched helplessly as Grandma took a hold of both of my great grandmother hands softly.  This trip was more for Grandma than the rest of us. 
 
"No, mom. I'm grown up. I finished school."  
"Your father went to work today, he said he will stay home with me."  
 
Is this woman replaying events that happened over 40 years ago? 
"Mom, why are you tied up?"  
 
Great grandmother muttered another riddle. 
Then we finally spotted the bruises on her arms and legs that haven't been here the last grandma visited. 
 
"Mom, how did you got these bruises." She whispered softly and FINALLY we got a straight answer...but its not the answer we wanted. 
 
"Mom fell." Great Grandmother stated weakly, Mom glared at the few nurses in the back who are watches us like hawks. I saw the looks that they gave us, and I myself felt anger coming up for a outlit.  'What have they done to you?' I asked Great Grandmother in my head glaring at the nurses. I wanted to beat the s**t out of the nurses. I want to tear opened their necks. At this freaking moment I don't care if I commit murder.  
 
My great grandmother is dying. She's dying slowly, and she started to die in this nursing home! She looked healthy days before she was placed here. The African American nurse matched my mom and I glares with one of her own.  
 
Grandma looked at us snapping us out of our glaring contests. "She's wet on the waist down. We need to change her, and I don't want their hands on her." for the first time in her life, my grandma is pissed off. Everyone knew that my grandmother is a kind and gentle soul, but this moment she was not.  We have a question in our heads "Why is she tied up?" We stayed quiet. I Picked up the chair from behind, my mom and grandma did the front.   
 
We picked up the chair together, "Where is her room?"  
"This way" My mom said, we carried the chair with all of our might towards great grandma room.  The black nurse went missing. When we reached my Great Grandmother room, we closed the doors which was completely against the rules.  
I pulled the curtain over great grandma bed.  
 
We placed the chair down. "How do we get her out?" Grandma asked, worried filled her tone of voice. I spot a small switch on the side of the chair that tied grandmother up.  "I think its this." I pressed it and suddenly the bindings went out, releasing my great grandmother.  
 
My greatgrandmother rubbed her arms softly,   
"Mom we going to change you." Grandma said softly, and Great Grandmother nodded her head weakly, I went around the curtain and went to the drawer to get a pair of clothes when suddenly I heard heavy footsteps outside. This wasn't normal in this place. I placed my ears on the door it came closer and closer. I pulled back, fear went in my nervous system. That black b***h called the freaking cops maybe.  
 
I rushed behind the curtains handing grandma the clothes. "They coming." I warned. My mom looked confused. "Who-"  
Grandma took off greatgrandmother shirt revealing her bare skin. Where is her bra!  Grandma pulled another shirt over her and just then the door ALMOST slammed opened, revealing the head nurse and the black b***h.  
 
"Ma'ma, this is against the rules. She suppose to be in the waiting area."  
Behind them was another chair to restraint my great grandmother.  
I took the lead, stepping between them.  
 
"Your not on the list, step away from her." the head nurse said, and then I screamed.  
"SHE'S HER F*****G DAUGHTER AND YOU SAYING SHE CAN'T SEE HER OWN DAMN MOTHER!?" My voice echoed through the room.  
Good thing that this room was private and the door is now close AND my great grandma is half deaf. 
 
The black b***h didn't retreat back, 
:"How do I know if she's her daughter, and who are you?" the b***h commented smartassly, and I was still pissed. This is the nurse that is taking care of my great grandma. This is the nurse that caused the bruises on my great grandma. This is the b***h that bullied a weak helpless woman.  
"I'm her great grandchild w***e! I know people like you! Your freaking jealous so you bullied the weak!" I snapped, and her eyes widened realizing I found out about the bruises. It doesnt take a rocket genius to figured it out.  
 
The head nurse placed a hand on my shoulder, (mom and grandma finished getting great grandma dressed while Im having it out with them) "Young lady, restraint in using such language and calm yourself down. I need this door opened,  and I need you all to leave to the waiting area so we can watch you. By then I will call her husband and asked  to add your  names to the list if its indeed true.Your names?" The head nurse said sternly. 
 
"Mary D." 
"Laura D." 
"Tina W."  
 
We all answered them.  "Why is she being tied up?" I spoke my voice with such poison.   The head nurse shook her head "This is safe for her, she keeps trying to fight the staff and keeps falling down." She answered. 
 
BULL S**T! I glared at the black b***h. yes her new nickname from me is black b***h.  
after this, we all went back to the waiting area with mixed feelings.  We got her back to the normal spot.  
 
....We settle ourselves, and Greatgrandmother still muttered in riddles. The headnurse and black b***h went to the phone to call Great grandpa for permission.  
 
"I can't believe this." I snapped harshly quietly to myself, still work up.  
 
 
So here what happened next. 

Dear Blog, 7/11/10 
 I felt so hurt and useless. I came back from the nursing home with mom and grandma from visiting my great grandma, what I had seen hurt me. She was weak. Void from any life in her eyes. She muttered riddles, insane. She lost her memory of all of us. I almost couldn't watch. Her hands shook on her bed trying to stand up but fallright back down. I barely caught her. The strong woman I visit last month at her house was no more. She wasn't healthy and certainly didnt know who I am. "Look at me Mom" my grandma said, placing her hands on her mother chin softly. Great Grandmother looked at Grandma weakly, and she began to talk in riddles again. "Mom, who am I"  
"Dorles?"  
"No mom, Im your daughter Mary-" 
My heart break, my Grandma cried in anguish. " M-Mom who am I" she asked again in sobs. Great Grand mother couldnt answer. She couldnt remember, my heart cracked. I felt tears roll down my own eyes. I have to be strong. 
My Grandma cried. this was the second time she cried in my life. 
My mom shook her head. "Shes too out of it." 
My Grandma went limp on the chair beside the woman whom didn't remember her. 
"Mom is here. Mom is here." Great Grandma  suddenly said weakly patting Mary's hand softly. 
"Please tell me who I am Mom" Grandma pleading, I turned by back.  
I could feel the whole world fell on my shoulders and I let myself cried feeling my grandma pain. Her mother didnt remember her. She never will. Her mother was stuck in a world of her own.  
I understand her pain. Her mother wouldn't remember all those good memories she have with grandma.  
At this moment, I knew she was dying. A weak in the nursing home and her life is slowly fading.  
I turned back around, patting my grandma on her back.  
"She remember you in some form." I whispered remembering what Great Grand mother said repeating "Mom is here, Mom is here" 
---- 
There is somethings we just don't want to talk about and this is one of them. This is just too painful from all of us.

Author's Note

I feel so bad...This really happened the day when my grandma, mom, and I went visit great grandma. The staff makes me sick. Soon my great grandmother will be in greater care.

Blue lines are nothing really, I just couldnt get rid of them when I grammar/Spell check my crap.

Reviews

[Dinesh Sairam]

I've been there and seen my grandma fade away. But I must admit, I'm happy for that, after all hardly does anyone get to even live with their grandma till the day they start remembering her. This story (Or better, experience) is an ode to all who love their grandma, and still do. Things I'd recommend are : Don't write 'GM' (I know, you've notified, but personally, I don't like abbreviations all that much). And I think you could've made it a story without the blog entry, it makes the read tad inconvenient. Other than that, it's a great story :)

[JENY]

A very sad story….
Couldn’t help pain bubbling inside me….while reading the story…
But needs some editing lol….
Otherwise excellent creation….

[Lightfalls]

"There is somethings we just don't want to talk about and this is one of them. This is just too painful from all of us."

Oh this is sad...I know how this is, exactly...except I feel guilt that I didn't have the right attitude spending time with elderly people, I just...was selfish and wanted to be off playing or doing my own thing rather then cleaning up human mess all the time, but now... looking back I can't help but have guilt. :( It's hard. I pray the best for your family.

[Ashley.M.E]

I still don't get the blue and underlines... the wording wasn't all that, I mean you already stated in teh first paragraph that you were going to see your great grandmother and then you tell again... when someone is talking you started a new pharagraph when the speaker changes...

I can relate... My grandmother was in the hospital (the same one her mother died it) and the nurses were abusing her. It pissed my mom off so much _=+ my aunt is a nurse... so she knew what to do and had to do everything, since they didn't trust the nurses.

I liked the story, It had an alright flow, though if I were you I would reread it... I'd edit, but since my grammar isn't all there as well it would be better if I didn't.