Silently defeated

Alone with your thoughts?? Yes me too.

In the silence is where I sit, feeling as though I'm never gonna fit in.
I'm not sad just defeated all my sins flying around me,
Never going to win.

Never think of myself as a first choice,
Making sure people are first on their high horse.
My feelings will never have exposure, surely this isn't the way your supposed to grow older.

The quieter I get the more I seem to feel it, getting desperate clutching at all my what if's.
Pen to paper and it slowly starts to flow, the hurt I'm feeling is now my only glow.

Torment surrounds me when I sit in silence, my darkest thoughts all consume me.
I need to be heard, understood but all I feel I do is mess it all up.

Silently given up, silently never going to be enough.

Reviews

[Ballpark Frank]

Oh my.....I'm feeling this way as well. I have many regrets and love and need my alone time. But my alone time can be a little crushing. But like you mention here, when I express myself I tend to often give off the wrong impression. I don't want to grow old this way either.

So....I write.

[Sammy]

Writing seems to be the only escape sometimes. Maybe it's just a case of being misunderstood. We get through it it's why we write isn't it. Keep strong x

[Ballpark Frank]

I believe you're right. 😀 writing can put us in our own little creative world.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

A very angst filled piece of writing that I'm sure speaks to many who feel the same. A strong voice always reflects truth in their writing and makes it relatable to others who identify with the words. I could tell a lot of emotion went into this poem. Thank you for sharing your art with us.

[Sammy]

Thank you for your comment and for reading it. Really is alot of emotion atm.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

You a good writer continue to use that emotion in your art and truly does help. I have suffered through depression most of my 56 yrs of life and I know that writing has truly helped me cope with difficult things and moments in life. It truly. Is a cathartic act. Stay strong and I hope you continue to share your heartfelt writing with us. You just never know who's life you will change with your words.

[Sammy]

Thank you means a lot it really does. Love writing. It's literally my only escape. And I hope it relates and helps people know they are not alone that we are not alone.