Shades of Time

A short story

The cruel memory of the silent tear trickling down and slowly smudging the khol in the almond shaped eye of my friend slowly set my heart shivering! Why is it that those grief-stricken eyes continue haunting me even after the passage of 5 long years! Why do I feel as if the whole event transpired only yesterday? Is time really so powerful that it can succeed in healing the pain felt by the beatings of the heart? Can time be so kind towards a helpless soul? Can time uproot the thorns of unbearable agony from the soft surface of human consciousness that bears upon it the imprints of malevolent memories? Is time a satan or a sadist that it takes you back and forth down the memory lane, a path that you would refrain from treading with all your tenacity? I lost faith in the power of time the moment those beautiful eyes that were compelled to turn red on account of being deluged with sorrowful tear resurfaced in my memory and turned the clock backwards with lightning speed!

 

I am guilty! I advised her or rather ill-advised her! I feel guilty of murdering her very soul! I snatched away the most preliminary right of any women, the right of becoming a mother! She was or rather still is a beautiful woman! Her real beauty reflected in the tenderness of her very being! I am not referring to a beauty which is external and superficial! A beauty that attracts nothing but ludicrous lust! I am referring to beauty that not only runs skin deep but permeates a woman’s every waking moment! The beauty of her tender soul reflected in her eye! The sinking and swallowing feeling that flows with full force in your veins gathers momentum and drowns you time and again when the person whom you have hurt forgives you rather than holding grudge against you! At times, your victim’s anger serves to be a source of deliverance for your soul! You do not seek forgiveness! You do not seek pardon! I felt deluged and suffocated and breathless on account of her forgiving tears! I couldn't redeem myself back then and I cannot face myself now! Alas! The power of time has failed miserably! I am meeting Shainaz today! After 5 years! These 5 long years appears to my tortured soul, to have passed off in a jiffy! After 5 long years I grudge her for forgiving me!

 

What was Shainaz’s fault? Being a Parsee? Falling in love with my ruthless brother? Trusting him with her body and soul? Surrendering her very being in selfless love? Having a friend like me who went out of her way to shield her brother? Having a friend like me who did not stand by her and left her in a lurch? Listening to a friend who advised her to abort her child?

 

I was weak! I was selfish! I succumbed before the twin forces of societal norms and a false sense of protection towards my arrogant brother Raj! No feeling is more wretched than the feeling of wanting to wipe off the ugly writings of sinful memories from the blackboard of your life! Those writings are etched for ever and then come back to haunt you in all their might! Shainaz terminated her pregnancy! She killed her child! She killed my nephew who would also have had my blood flowing through his veins! I felt as if I strangulated my very own baby! Shainaz terminated her pregnancy by using certain poisonous herbs that sounded the death knell of her motherhood forever! She discovered this fact 2 years down the line after she tried conceiving again once she had started a new life with a man who held her hand and pulled her out of the whirlpool of misery. 

 

The sombre expression of Shainaz and her tearful eye reflected her bleeding soul! Her soul bled because her friend pushed her off the bridge of trust. Her soul bled because a thousand cut was inflicted upon her through the selfish sword of indifference exhibited by her first love! Her soul bled because life was sucked out of her very consciousness on account of being forced to terminate her pregnancy and strangulate the innocent little life within her! Her soul bled because she was robbed off the right of nurturing new life with her new love!

I was guilty on many counts! How could she forgive me? How could I prevent her soul from bleeding? How could I heal her wounds? How could I redeem myself? Or should I ever redeem myself? I do not seek her forgiveness! Time is just! It is doing justice for it burns my soul in the fire of remorse! Time sways its powerful swords and slays my sense of peace! There is a reason why time doesn’t heal my wound! This is indeed the way time takes its revenge!

Time has various shades to it! Time cast reflection on your life in all its shade! The shade of red is the most lethal shade indeed! Whether it be the redness of the blood that flows from your soul or the redness of eye on account of spent tear; the shade or red does justice to you! I accepted the shade of red with all my heart for I couldn’t find any other way to survive! 

Reviews

[MFrano1]

This seems like it'll be an interesting story, but right off the bat I notice you have so many details in the first sentence it actually becomes mind boggling. You also ask a lot of questions with the word time, and it gets repetitive. Maybe make them all one question and replace the word time with it? I love your description of her though, it's very powerful and well worded, and I also love the story line. Overall you did a pretty good job :) keep doing what you're doing!