So Close Yet so Far

 

The new day brought up even more brighter sunlight, which seemed to glow her face even more. Far away from distance as I tried to predict her thoughts, she seemed even more beautiful as ever. I had known her since past two years; she never seemed so deeply engrossed in her thoughts as today. However, I knew whom she was thinking of. Since past two years, I had observed her and some how she gave me strength to live for her, to support her and to love her, even more... what if she never thought about me, never thought about giving life a second chance.

Rebecca had been quite resistive towards life and people ever since Joe had left two years before. Giving life a second chance nowhere seemed linked up, she always said to me “Drake if I give life a second chance it just means risking myself again, I cant love anyone ever again, maybe even he will leave me forever.” The deeply wounded girl was surrounded with dark clouds of depressions and could not see me standing, reaching to her with my sincere love and a new brightness to fill color into her colorless life. However, love never always meant achieving but also understanding and caring, and my love was not bounded, so I never confessed to her I loved her. “Rebecca lets go to a coffee shop today, just for a change”. “Yeah, sure maybe even I need a change. Worrying and thinking about the past is making me nervous, meek �" as if I’m becoming a mouse day by day”.

‘Café Coffee Day’ had been always her favorite place to hang out. The simplicity of the place and a need for privacy was always available. The smell of fresh coffee made me feel a bit more relaxed towards her. Maybe I should tell her today or maybe I should not, what if she never felt like that for me and maybe she would never, so will she still accept me as her best friend then?

Rebecca as usual preferred the Irish coffee, she always said to me “Drake you know why does this coffee taste like it has been made in heaven or rather make an illusionist feeling around us? “ I used to say, “Maybe because of the hard-work the person puts in.” However she always said as like today “No, it’s because the love they feel while making it. Because of our hidden feelings for someone really special”.

I liked to see her in different mood unlike every morning when she seemed like a still dark area of night where sunrise never takes place. Apart from losing her happiness, she had lost her health as well, every time I tried to be affectionate she told me to stay away and not to develop feelings for her, ‘coz it was never going to happen that way.

“Rebecca for how long are you going to be this way? I really feel very bad; please you have to fight against it. I agree that whatever happened with you is and cannot be ever justified, but think about Joe’s parents how much more bad they must be feeling at loss of their son, specially his mother, she nurtured him for 9 long months in her stomach, at what state of mind she must be living at the present moment. Think about the man who had to face death of his son in front of his own eyes. Think about those citizens who have lost a courageous and a brave soldier, in fact you must be proud of him. Try to forget the past, live in present, for past you are hurting the people living in present with you, trying to help you overcome this sad but true incidence.”  She seemed to drown even more in her sorrows, but it was necessary to tell her.

“Maybe, you are right Drake, but I am afraid to give life a second chance, as Juliet was always meant for Romeo, maybe I am always meant for Joe. The two states of my life keep me restricted to my own world which has certainly turned from sublime to ridiculous”.

However, I was feeling much better after telling her all that I was keeping it to myself until date. A long pause in middle of our talk made the long, hot summer go even longer and dryer, even though we were sitting inside the café.

Today, maybe she would realize that she should be with me, forgetting every thing she has been doing since past two years.

Back at Rebecca’s house...

“Mom, have I been hurting you since Joe left” tears fall swiftly from her face but gently as if ice gliding off shore. “If I am doing so I’m really sorry mom, but no one can ever replace him in my life. I am planning to do a job; I have applied for it and will be going for interview.” She hurries upstairs; crying all these days has made her even stronger though not physically.

“I’ll tell him, surely tomorrow to move away from my life forever. I have to support my in-laws and I just don’t want him...”

Remembers a few lines from Joe’s diary...

I have learnt that we do not have to change if friends change.

I have learnt that no matter how good a friend is they are going to hurt you every once in a while and you must learn to forgive them.

I have learnt that true friendship continues to grow even after long distances in between and the same is for true love

I have learnt that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life I have learnt that it is taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I have learnt that how broken your heart might be but world doesn’t stop for your grief.

.......

I have learnt that the people you care about the most in life are taken away from you too soon....

 

“No, I must not be rude to Drake; after all he is trying his best for me to return to my normal life. I will tell him that we are more like best friends, I can’t love him but I do want him in my life, as a best friend a friend who will support, love as well as criticize me for my mistakes and help me correct them.”

 

Next Day...

This was a new glow on Rebecca’s face that made her sound more positive, energetic and as if she was the one, I had expected to be for me forever. I could never be a man in her life but I am surely the man which no one else can take place. I was sad but as well as happy because Rebecca was now happy, I still wish that Joe had been with us... Sipping coffee in the café day three of us all together was seemingly never possible but change in Rebecca surely made me feel even more positive towards her. It was like a new beginning, something that everyone wanted for to happen...

I just remember few lines that I had read....

‘Just because someone does not love you the way you want, does not mean that they do not love you with all they have...

Author's Note

please friends review my writing its my first attempt to write short story...

Reviews

[the_stoic]

a few mistakes here and there ... i feel really bad for Drake ! as for a story its good but this is idealistic . once a person develops a certain kind of feeling for someone its impossible to revert back and accept him/her just as a friend . Rebecca is right in acknowledging the fact that she just can't love anyone else ever again . yeah the world never stops but for the person who has lost his/her love the void remains forever. thats my experience . this was a good read .. keep writing

[anjana]

Esha,
It's really touching, sounds as if straight from heart n not just a story. Keep writing.