Alexandre's Journal

Alexandre finally managed to write an entry in his journal during this strange time of day. Calling it "mid-afternoon" would be awkward; "between three and four-thirty" is too precise. There's a little-known and even less-used term in French: "L'entre-Midi" (The Between-Noon). He used to call it "that s****y period." It's always either too early or too late to accomplish what he wanted at this hour. It's surprising how he's always tired or uninspired at this precise moment. No matter if he had enough coffee, food, and sleep. He had never been able to write a journal entry at this hour until today. Encountering difficulties with the traditional method, Alexandre decided to explore new approaches. Could he really break free from a routine so deeply rooted after so many years? The countless new impressions paralyzed him in his writing, which seemed paradoxical to him. With fewer collaborative tables available in the city where he was, he had to worry about earning his bread. 14/4 Alexandre woke up indoors; and he was happy about it. Last night's struggle to keep his eyes open in a late-night café ended in cold rain at a bus stop. But he managed to drag himself to the morning task just in time. Since northern people are more understanding, nobody complained if he rested a bit more in the morning after the task was done. Already at between-noon, Alexandre no longer felt that anxiety that often came to him as sunset approached. With the first two tasks of the day completed, he had enough for coffee and some medication. As the sun disappeared, a new task location was discovered. He managed to sleep intermittently between tasks. With a few dollars in his pocket, he had noted down an access code for particularly cold nights or emergencies. He couldn't find cafés open all night. Those that close around three in the morning seemed to be the only options available. That being the case, at three in the morning, he would start walking until he couldn't go any further and would fall into a deep sleep, wherever he happened to be. 15/4 Another late evening in a café. Such a life might seem sad to some, but for Alexandre, it was the only imaginable way to live. Should he work like the girl behind the counter, just to get a small room to spend the night and come back the next day to be a jerk? Sometimes, he was granted the privilege of sleeping at the task location. He was used to taking a long nap after the noon task. His mind was often most awake at night, and he was spared from people's meanness when they were asleep. 16/4 They kicked Alexandre out an hour before the café closed, but he saw no point in protesting. So he took advantage of the entry code he had to stay a while before the task began. After having his coffee and breakfast, followed by a short nap between dawn and noon and a coding session, he headed to the pharmacy. He didn't really need it, but he couldn't think of anything else to do before having to restart the task. The girl who worked at the café the next night allowed him to stay even after closing time. Perhaps she liked Alexandre, because when she cleaned the café, she often bent into his field of vision, offering a view of her pretty backside while making soft and provocative moans. 17/4 In the morning he heard the start of the task on the other side of the barrier where he slept. This time, nobody came to disturb him, although he was almost certain they were aware of his presence. The task was performed without his participation. When he woke up, pockets empty, he headed to another task location where there was free coffee. He reviewed the manuals of this place where they applied the task operation rules very strictly. Once again he fell into a deep sleep before the start of the noon task. After completing his task and explaining his situation, the "foreman" of the place, who was very strict, offered him a meal and proved extremely generous. The sun sets and another day begins. This time, he's in the café next to the one from last night, seeking some variety, as if his experiences of the last few days weren't varied enough. At that moment, he should have been at his usual post, but at least he went to the afternoon task. He left to buy medication. He wonders if he really needed it today or if he was just acting out of habit. 18/4 The next day, he stayed all night at this place before going to the neighboring café where he lingered throughout the morning, and even until sunset. At sunset, he went to the task location and took a nap before it began. He woke up in the middle of the night. Could it be that no one noticed his presence in the small corner where he had grown accustomed to sleeping? Or had they let him skip the task and sleep as he clearly needed to? In any case, he had to pretend he hadn't been there all night and simply arrived at the task early. 19/4 He missed the noon task. His short nap in a park lasted longer than expected. Fortunately, another task participant helped him out. For just a moment he considered spending money on medication instead of food, but he finally made the wise decision. Later, after the sunset task, someone offered him a meal rather than cash. In a way, he was grateful for this. He knew he hadn't completely overcome his addiction yet and that he wouldn't always make the best decisions.

Reviews

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

before i give you my feedback, just know i've just had a terrible day and reading turned it around!
i truly see myself in Alexandre, i'm sitting ringside cheering him on.
this piece is subtly existential without obsessing over philosophy. it is also a reflection of loneliness, however, it is not spoken in the tone of grief. instead, it suggests that life can be satisfying even having only oneself.
and the style is wonderful. the first section is full of irony which puts the reader in the mood to read on. throughout, the language is easy on the eye and allows the reader to relax and immerse themselves in the world of the narrative.
the final sentence stung, but i appreciated its hopeful tone.
i really liked it.