A Confession of Disgust

eww. this feeling makes me sick.

I feel disgusted.
I feel putrid.
This moment in time, so nightmarish.
I feel scared and loathing
and I crawl in a corner
wanting this all to go away.

It is as embarrassing as tripping down the stairs
not getting injured one bit,
but you still start to cry.

It is as painful as throwing up
for hours on end
the birthday cake you once smiled upon.

It is like witnessing death
a few hundred times,
but never getting used to the site of blood.

It's like a fly in your room.
Buzzing buzzing, so annoying,
but not close enough for the flyswatter to reach.

I feel myself missing you.
I feel myself cry.
I feel myself forgiving you now.
There were the good times
but more so the bad.

I hate myself.
I feel nasty.
I feel vile.
I feel myself falling
in love with you.

Author's Note

Please let me know what you think. Thank you.

Reviews

[Eagle Cruagh]

"Please let me know what you think ?"

I feel that , were I your man, I woold be pleased that
I had made you feel nasty.
I feel envious of you, because you are such a clever poet.
That you are so gifted makes me think of poets of old.
When I read you i feel empowered.
There are many other feelings, but I know you did`nt mean
to hear them all.
I just applaud you and think you are the best.
---- Eagle Cruagh

[Kyle]

Falling in love makes you feel this way? REally?

[Erin]

I love this and go Illinois lol

[S. Michael Long]

I HATE IT... GRRRR.. i don't like it, but that's why i love it.. its that troublesome annoyance that we all desire and long for, but yet we hate at the same time, its the need, and the affliction all wrapped into one.. I always have to take your writing in small doses.. (this is a good thing) you always hit the nerve of emotion in your writing so, in other words.. keep writing you have something to say! and p.s.. I LOVED IT! -s P.S.S, this poem has nothing to do with looking for love in the wrong places right? Its about the emotional conflict of wanting to love something or someone.. or longing for the reciprocal? lemme know -s

[Patrick]

Analogies are vivid but must confess the last verse through me slightly yet that's a good thing...I think. Time for some decaff :)

[Marla]

I love it!

[Eagle Cruagh]

I think you have said it in depth.
We see numerous poems written by
people who new better, and di d just
as they pleased, then despaired when
it was over. You have not done that,
you had something genuine going and
it seemed the well has just run dry.
----- John

[The White Wolf]

This is the other side of the coin with falling in love, I think, and not the one most people like to talk about. Whether it be the nerves when we first fall in love or the depths of misery that we fall into when that love is gone....funny how they are so similar. I enjoyed this very much. I have never read anything like it. Great work.

[Distant horizons]

wow. Amazing write. Captured so well the feeling of feeling feeling that feel so wrong. Beautifully penned.