Daddy

to my father.

Daddy's gonna hit me again.
His eyes are inflamed
His hand raised strictly.
I can already feel his rage
burning my face.
It f*****g hurts
but I am too scared to cry.

Condoms are found in Daddy's drawers
but mommy is allergic to latex.
Ladies call Daddy late at night
and his truck pulls down the driveway.
I ask mommy where he is going
she can only cry.

Watch me daddy
as I cut my skin.
Razor blades touch me all over
like you used to do.
You are disgusted by my sliver thin scabs
and call an ambulance
to take me away.
I hear the taunting sirens.
They scream at my lack
of sanity.

Daddy is drunk again.
His fists meet the drywall;
at least it's not my face
again.
He screams at Mommy,
he screams at my brothers,
he screams at me,
things like "useless"
and "A mistake"
and "God d****t
I f*****g hate you".

Daddy left us today.
his bags were packed last night.
He actually hugged me goodbye.
I flinched at his touch.
He's married now
to not my mom.
He has a few kids
that are not me
or my siblings.
He loves them.
He spoils them.
He would never
ever
make them cry.
Tears cover my pillow case.

Author's Note

Please let me know what you think. Thank you.

Reviews

[S. Michael Long]

nm, you said sliver, not silver lol (: still i think you can refine that stanza, sliver and silver are one of those words that a quick reader will miss.. but i like it.. still dont know why the scabs are sliver thin? assuming its from the razor?

[S. Michael Long]

well this is something to talk about, so im going to (: lol.. I love the idea the content and the topic.. im going to tell you what i think and tell you what i would say.. (doesn't mean you have to change a thing.. because its wonderfully written)

Daddy's gonna hit me again.
His eyes are inflamed - find a way to put more imagery into inflamed e.g. (bloodshot) or something like that.
His hand raised strictly.
I can already feel his rage - i expected you to anticipate it.. (which is the same thing i suppose)
burning my face.
It f*****g hurts
but I am too scared to cry.

Condoms are found in Daddy's drawers - i might say, i found condoms in my daddy's drawer, it adds a child like curiosity and hurt to the issue (especially after reading the next stanza.)
but mommy is allergic to latex.
Ladies call Daddy late at night
and his truck pulls down the driveway.
I ask mommy where he is going
she can only cry. - i wished that you said "but im not too young to know why..

Watch me daddy
as I cut my skin.
Razor blades touch me all over - i wished this said cut.. you wouldnt lose the influence you are trying to make with the next stanza if you use cut.. or shred, or tear.. (tear would be super powerful.. maybe too much so.
like you used to do.
You are disgusted by my sliver thin scabs - this stanza is obfuscated for me, i dont know what you are trying to say.. i mean i do, but i dont know what silver thin scabs are..
and call an ambulance
to take me away.
I hear the taunting sirens.
They scream at my lack
of sanity. - love the translation and the imagery with this line..

Daddy is drunk again.
His fists meet the drywall;
at least it's not my face
again. - maybe this time? i dont know. i want to feel that the drywall could have been the face.. (i dont want it to, but i want it to be connected to the verse i mean.)
He screams at Mommy,
he screams at my brothers,
he screams at me,
things like "useless"
and "A mistake"
and "God d****t
I f*****g hate you".

Daddy left us today.
his bags were packed last night. -who packed them? did he? or she?
He actually hugged me goodbye.
I flinched at his touch.
He's married now - something is missing, this could be broken up into an additional portion explaining who he married, it seems to quick or too soon, maybe that was your intention, if so its nice.
to not my mom.
He has a few kids
that are not me
or my siblings.
He loves them.
He spoils them.
He would never
ever
make them cry.
Tears cover my pillow case. - (and i know why.. maybe? i dont know..

Beautiful as all of your poems are.. its a really good depiction of an abusive family from a childs pov.. nice work! -s

[Lorna]

er... WOW. Amazing empathy, amazing context and incredible, powerful writing. I have a habit of scanning everything I read. From the first sentence, I just knew this wasn't one to be scanned. I read it word for word and I loved it, seriously, I you should be so proud of this.

[Distant horizons]

You capture the tragedy of the situation wonderfully. How one persons action can affect so many people, changing their perspective forever.