bite the eye

They purposefully misunderstand:

bite the eye, cross the hand.

What feeds desire is a thing so grand,

it lights a fire; makes glass of sand.

Like thund'rous love that carries off

the lightning soul to bear a cross,

a show of faith will sometimes leave

the nakedness, the shaking knees.

Like booming hearts and booming love

we find no peace: the flight of doves 

means little to necks craning up

to stare at the sky: the ones who sup

from you bread, your flesh,

your fruit, your gold -

your brothers, your sisters, your heart they hold -

and squeeze.

Author's Note

This, to me, is a poem about betrayal. I hope everyone will tell me what it is to them.

Reviews

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

An interesting write indeed. There is some crypticness to the words, which makes it difficult to pin down the exact emotion or overall concept the writer intended, but not all poetry is supposed to be in your face obvious, so I actually liked this feeling. I did not necessarily feel betrayal, I felt more of a questioning of religion and morality. There are many references to "the cross" and "faith", which leads me to believe this has a religioius undertone (had there only been one reference it may not have led me in that direction).

Overall, the flow was great and the rhyme was strong. I enjoyed the tempo and the imagery as well. Nicely written.

[Sarah Khalil]

Your interpretation is thoughtful and I so appreciate it! Thank you so much, it made my day :)

[Akashi]

Nice write and read. Great, no, excellent.

[Wolfwind]

This piece comes across to me as a seen from some war torn nation where the people are looking up at the rockets flying over there head and wondering why the government, people of the same blood, are not listening to the people that are left to suffer in the streets. In a political/social sense, I can see it as a betrayal.

Nicely writen!
Aaron

[E.V. Black]

I feel that the very last lines of the final stanza are out of tune with the rest of the poem. However, I do adore the poem itself. My favorite thing about it was the following line:

"a show of faith will sometimes leave
the nakedness, the shaking knees."

Betrayal can leave one certain that others will betray one. When a true friend comes along, one is uncertain about such kindness and love. Peace is an illusion that simply flies by ("flight of doves"). One can never be certain of who is one's friend or one's foe. I guess one just needs to trust. I've had some betrayal over the past few months. Granted, it was only one friend, but I never thought she was the way she truly showed herself to be. I thought she was different. For me, it strikes a chord, and I really can understand the bitter feeling. Why do they have to be so afraid? More likely, why do they have to be so afraid of themselves? Because often, the reason people betray each other is because there is something they are reticent to face.

[Guilt]

I envy the way you've woven your rhymes. They're so precise, so relevant. I would never with a million years create something like this. That's the beauty if individuality. And your style is definitely forming its own wings.
Sounds to me like a misunderstanding of a family against the relationship of a youth. The cross of the hands reminds me of an angry parent, but then again you've said hand, not arms, which is an image hard to imagine. But if I believe this to be a family tearing a young member away from an outsider they've fallen for, it makes sense to me.
The great passion and heavy cross of having your love anchored in their brilliant ocean of adventure and discovery, having no place in the sky of euphoria. The people grounded are trying to shoot you down. Because you're chasing the sky as brilliant as their sea. And so the love is sent via feathers on the wind, but your heart is physically constrained by the family (pre-assigned guardians of the heart). But what's more agonising is the squeeze of the heart, of not being together.

That's what it meant for me :)

A brilliantly constructed flexibility of thought. Loved loved loved it.

- Guilt

[Sarah Khalil]

What an amazing interpretation, thanks a million for your thoughts. I love your reviews!

[urbanfantasy]

I love it....very great poem. You can tell it came from your heart.

[Sarah Khalil]

Thank you, I'm so glad it came across as heartfelt :)

[xxlheart]

you are such a delight to read. your poetry is written so fluid and with such skill. comes off as very professional and creative. your work is the complete package.

[Sarah Khalil]

Oh my god, thank you! I'm flattered :)

[quinfinn]

betrayal come across, so does denial and selfishness....you pen so eloquently that your message becomes manyfold...and takes the reader into his own mind, this is the mark of great poetry!

[Sarah Khalil]

Thank you for your kind feedback quin, always appreciated :)

[quinfinn]

always welcome

[Baby Ricochet]

Basically betrayal is breaking promises. Some good rhymes in this. Keep writing.

[Sarah Khalil]

Thanks a million! I intend to!

[sparkle]

as you said , this poem is betrayal , I like everything about it , I felt you are pessimistic at some points such as ( a show of faith will sometimes leave
the nakedness, the shaking knees )
a very nice poem , well done :)

[Sarah Khalil]

Thanks sparkle :)