Night

The power leaves us

calm darkness enshrouds

calmer than drizzle,

darker than clouds

the steady drops soften

the flow slowing down.

I close my eyes, sighing

the dripping is sleek

the night presses inward

the open window creaks

the breeze sneaks in

ink rivulets on my skin.

The drips of night, night is calm.

Ink runs apt, nothing is wrong.

I start to float away, and breathe;

the breeze picks up, the night in ease

eyes open or closed, nothing is seen.

The power has left us, the water runs clean.

Breeze and breathe are a balm:

I run like the night

the night is calm.

May 17, 2013

Author's Note

Seriously though, the power goes out here and sometimes you have to wait for the generator to come on. And sometimes you're in the shower, and sometimes it's a beautiful and calm night smack dab in the middle of spring. And sometimes you get really carried away and nice things happen.

Thanks for reading!

Reviews

[quinfinn]

when we get used to the comforts of utilities and furnishings, it is a major setback for those unprepared for diversity. sometimes it is good when you have learned how to deal with these things. you make for an interesting scenario with your clever write.

[Sarah Khalil]

That's a positive way of looking at a crappy provision of public utilities ;) Thanks for reviewing quin!

[Angi]

I wonder at the days before electricity. Simpler times. More connected times. This reminds me turn it all off once in a while. ...and just breathe. Angi~

[Sarah Khalil]

Yes, but can you imagine staying cool in the summers (I mean with winters you can build a fire and bundle up!) and dealing with mosquitoes? It would be a nightmare! :D Thanks for reading Angi

[zainul]

Filtered the beauty of night in such craftsmanship!
Some awesome portions that charmed me are:
"the night presses inward
the open window creaks"
and
"Breeze and breathe are a balm:
I run like the night
the night is calm".

[Sarah Khalil]

Thank you so much! I tried to make sure this was a delicately worded piece :)

[zainul]

I appreciate your determination and confidence.
Your choice of words is amazing.
Besides,your strong background in English enables you to steer in your own direction.
Have a nice time,dear poet. :)

[Lethu]

Lol okay before I read your note to me this was ambiguous. I can honestly say that I had a black for a sec but over all this is a very nice piece I love it.

[Sarah Khalil]

It is pretty ambiguous, isn't it! I wasn't sure about it when I posted it. Thank you for your feedback :)

[Claire Bear]

The imagery and detail is wonderful. The words used match up perfectly with the serenity that is night. Very beautiful poem!

[Sarah Khalil]

Thank you!

[Claire Bear]

You're welcome.

[SteveB]

Lovely. The vivid imagery really sets the scene and create the mood nicely. Good rythmn and I really liked the aliteration at the end. Thank you for sharing this.

[Sarah Khalil]

Thank you so much for reviewing Steve, I really appreciate it :)

[sparkle]

nice words , I liked it , esp the comment below the poem , great work girl , keep going on .. :)

[Sarah Khalil]

Thanks sparkle :)

[SyberRose]

I like the silence and darkness of the night and the sounds are so much clearer...I like listening to the rain late at night too...yes the night is calm and peaceful as your words Sarah...Enjoyed...Rose:)

[Sarah Khalil]

Night is my favorite time of the day, starting precisely at the moment when you can no longer see the sun but there's still light from it; the world is awash in a grayish blue and at that moment the weather is always just right. The colors of the night time are always more wonderful than the day because everything you can see is lit by something, and it takes on the color of that thing, unlike in the day when the sun exposes everything. Night is indeed calm - and I've gotten carried away! Thank you once again for reading Rose :)

[SyberRose]

You are so right...sun can be very glaring to the eyes.

[plainme]

very nice distant rhymes that you've constructed, I like them very much. Very nice visualisation of the situation too. The setting is described with class. I've got a question, shouldn't it be ''Breeze and breath are a balm''? I think breath would make more sense, but if it's intentional ignore my question! :-) Very nice poem, I really liked it!

[Sarah Khalil]

I thought about breath/breathe for an absurd amount of time considering this was written more or less on a whim, and although "breath" is more instinctive, using "breathe" prompts a second look *because* you expect "breath", and then (hopefully!) you're caught on breeze/breathe and how they become one as the speaker floats away and becomes a part of the night. Good lord, that's something when you write it out.

Thank you for your review! :)

[plainme]

Exactly, that second look didn't go a miss, but now that you've explained it I like your intentions. I also thought that Breeze/Breathe were a bit rhythmical together, whereas if you used 'Breath' it wouldn't give the same effect, it would be kinda lost, that effect which makes your eyes jump back to the last 3 lines. But that's the autistic writer in me, trying to make everything as perfect as it can. But I like the fact you went for that! Really do, it gives it originality and a nice 'play with words' you could say. A little factor in the poem that makes it stick in your mind for longer than the normal poem. And these two words have a rather similar structure which, like you said, creates a floating/flowing sensation while reading. Oh and I know that feeling, haha! In your mind it's all just a thought and on paper, a damn paragraph and a half!

Pleasure's all mine, thanks for sharing!