Night

The power leaves us

calm darkness enshrouds

calmer than drizzle,

darker than clouds

the steady drops soften

the flow slowing down.

I close my eyes, sighing

the dripping is sleek

the night presses inward

the open window creaks

the breeze sneaks in

ink rivulets on my skin.

The drips of night, night is calm.

Ink runs apt, nothing is wrong.

I start to float away, and breathe;

the breeze picks up, the night in ease

eyes open or closed, nothing is seen.

The power has left us, the water runs clean.

Breeze and breathe are a balm:

I run like the night

the night is calm.

May 17, 2013

Author's Note

Seriously though, the power goes out here and sometimes you have to wait for the generator to come on. And sometimes you're in the shower, and sometimes it's a beautiful and calm night smack dab in the middle of spring. And sometimes you get really carried away and nice things happen.

Thanks for reading!

Reviews

[quinfinn]

when we get used to the comforts of utilities and furnishings, it is a major setback for those unprepared for diversity. sometimes it is good when you have learned how to deal with these things. you make for an interesting scenario with your clever write.

[Sarah Khalil]

That's a positive way of looking at a crappy provision of public utilities ;) Thanks for reviewing quin!

[ILuvRilke]

I love your words.....I also like editing, I rearranged your words to suit me, nothing critical of your way, I just enjoy looking at things from a different perspective

The power leaves us
darkness enshrouds
calmer than drizzle,
darker than clouds
the steady drops soften
I close my eyes, sighing

the night presses inward
as ink rivulets on my skin.
the open window creaks
and breeze sneaks in
the dripping is sleek
all flow slowing down.

night is calm.
Ink runs apt,
nothing is wrong.
I start to float away,
and breathe;
the breeze picks up,
the night in ease
eyes open or closed,
nothing is seen.
The power has left us,
the water runs clean.

Breeze and breathe are a balm:
I run like the night
the night is calm.

[Sarah Khalil]

Thanks for your input, I'm glad it inspired you to re-interpret it it honestly - shows you gave it a lot of thought! :)

[Chris]

"Power" carries many meanings and even more connotations ...shades of meaning. Electricity is one of the least used poetic meanings.

Within this poem you DID manage to convey other senses to Power... intended or not. You carried the thoughts and tones well... good rhythm.

[Sarah Khalil]

Oh very good! I was hoping someone would get an impression of power as not being directly related to electricity. I myself get that impression reading - "The power leaves us" makes me feel like there is some form of yielding as well as the surface meaning. Not yielding in a negative way, necessarily. Just a submission of sorts, just the power actually going, leaving behind the sense of serenity instilled by this poem. Thanks for reading!

[xxlheart]

your style seems effortlessly. this is a perfect poem that shows the reader how talented you are. amazing!

[Sarah Khalil]

Oh my goodness, I'm flattered you think it's perfect. Thank you so much for reading :)

[Baby Ricochet]

Good descriptive piece of writing in poetic form. Slightly romantic even. Great Job.

[Sarah Khalil]

I think it's the sensuality and euphony that makes it seem romantic. I'm glad it made an impression :) thanks for reading!

[End.]

This was wonderful. I could feel myself calming down as I read. What beauty there is in the language you use.

[Sarah Khalil]

Thank you! It does seem to have that effect :)

[E.V. Black]

I love the author's note. Very amusing! I love your sense of humor, and I also enjoyed this poem. I could actually the feel the night running down my skin in pitch rivulets. It was so clear, the way you described it creeping and slithering over the skin. Also, I feel that its creeping and slithering could apply to sleep. Sleep often comes upon one when one least expects it.

[Sarah Khalil]

Thank you! :) It's probably the only poem I've ever written where the overarching impression is simply just calm. No conflict, no sadness, no real drama. I'm so glad the tactile sensations came across, because it really can just feel like that sometimes - ethereal and dream-like, speaking of sleep!

[Rahul]

Nicely penned, great stuff and theme's good, every one love to read such kinda stuffs which're on nights or on dark because of deep reading.

[Sarah Khalil]

Thank you for reading and reviewing :)

[WillowWhisper]

My favorite part of this is that you outline the calm, relaxing, beauty of the night. Most of the songs and poems I find about night are about all the scary monsters waiting to gouge out your eyes and feast on your soul (in my defense I'm from the bible belt where fear is a mandatory past time for most people). Being without power, alone with life in a natural nature setting, its a beautiful thing and this poem reflects that quite fantastically.

[Sarah Khalil]

The night is my favorite time of the day - I'm not afraid of the dark. There's nothing more beautiful than a spring night where it's so dark the breeze feels like the caress of the darkness itself rather than just the air. When the power goes out it doesn't just take away the electricity and light, but the very tension of your muscles, the strain on your eyes as you take in all the stark light. The water pressure slows to a gentle caress rather than a sturdy shower, as it were - and when your eyes are closed, that's just liquid night. Thanks for your review :)

[WillowWhisper]

That is pure awesomesauce. The only time I ever get to be out in the sweet darkness of mama nature's night without being bothered by electricity, phones, cars, etc. Is at festivals-sometimes.It's really cool how you get to experience night so differently than so many people I know get to. Anyway, that's enough of me being fascinated by stuff for now~ welcome!

[Keith]

Sarah, that is just beautiful. We also lose power a little too often and it brings a special peace. No fridge motors, TVs and if its wide spread no lights anywhere so the stars shine brightly. You captured that feeling beautifully. Thanks.

[Sarah Khalil]

It is! And just the very best on a night where there's a light breeze. It feels like the night itself is caressing you. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!