I sit
in the Cathedral;
the Museum Insel
accepts me:
Wilkommen
they say
and I feel welcomed,
truly,
I was feeling alone
down there
in the streets of this city
not anymore
the statues here
a coven of angels
embrace me
and for me they sing �"
silence…
in the absence of silence
our saviour
whispers in my ear
I reply
“Give me salvation �" just not yet.”
not yet
stillness
And then I realise
walking through the city
streets with its buskers,
architecture, and lively markets
how wonderful it all really
was �" this world. And no
one more than I knew this
better. And yet, I still
return home feeling
oppressively alone.
Why? Where did I go
wrong?
Along
the river,
Thames, and along
the river
Der Fluss
crossing
the same one
over
and over
The bridge das Brucke
Nietzsche
expressionism
and walking
I had my music
so it was okay
Wir sind Helden
German Alternative & Japanese ska
the skies were grey
that day
my final one for
this trip.
I sit by a pillar
(one of those neo-classical
designs)
and listen
to the jazz duo(a trumpet, a
trombone)
I toss them some coins(thanks!)
then to the gallery
Anton Graff
paints a sky
his children have round lovely eyes
and portraits are quaint
dark backdrops
o heaven! o heaven!
where art thou?
Kingdom comes and Kingdom goes
where do we go now? who knows, who knows?
And
time flows
like the rivers
taking us places
taking us further away
from the clouds & rain
and towards the oceans
the deep bottomless blue infinitely wide
The ocean (das Meer)
you are there, my relatives
and we are here
our relatives �"
Ben’s great-great
great was a German
merchant sailor,
danced with Anna Kelly
most of his kids died
bar 1
who fled to W.A
and Ben Zimdahl
is the lineage of a
sole survivor.
My heritage is not that interesting I remark
a few veterans in the war
one great uncle’s grave
is in Russia, and the rest
worked in printing companies
or on farms
Which do you like
the country or the city?
Both?
Well, I’ll show you both
when you come to Japan
next time
it will be great if you visit
Tokyo City is wunderbar,
exquisite
as is the countryside
did I tell you the story
of my trekking
around Mt. Fuji?
near death
cold
and scared
Yes,
fun times
fun times indeed
what a beautiful country
Japan, und Deutschland auch! Deutschland auch…
A poem is a space for play and the reader should interpret the text freely. However, I will like to venture to give this body of work a bit more context. You see, I went to Berlin in order to meet a girl who I was madly in love with. She had already a German boyfriend, so I wasn’t sure what I was thinking, but that’s what I did. Even at the time I knew this was dumb, and looking back I probably creeped her out. I am ashamed of my actions, but for some reason I couldn’t not do this. I get like this sometimes, where I just lock in and disregard evryone's feelings as I go on a mission. I am sharing this part out of an interest of honesty. That said, I did do all the sight-seeing that one normally would do, and despite my depression, I did have a memorable experience one I treasure to this day.
My Review
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My friend. You are a wonderful story teller. Ernest, I liked the way you described life and people. I visit Berlin with the wall and after. I learn. Strong people can overcome anything. Thank you for sharing the outstanding chapter.
Coyote
Posted 3 Weeks Ago
3 Weeks Ago
that's amazing. thank you again for reading this series. i'll add the next chapter maybe tomorrow.
3 Weeks Ago
You are welcome Ernest. I look forward to more story.
A man on a mission, straight forward admission. You were trying to kill two birds with one stone; you did not get the girl, you got the city.
Sightseeing can be therapeutic.
Enjoyed your stroll and accounts of the city.
Posted 3 Weeks Ago
3 Weeks Ago
this is a great comment! yes, i suppose so. well, getting the girl was a pip dream - but so was spen.. read morethis is a great comment! yes, i suppose so. well, getting the girl was a pip dream - but so was spending time in a foreign city with a mood disorder, unmedicated, and your only support is a raging alcoholic. quite an episode.
thanks for reading this. much appreciated.
I don't know why but this reminded me of a time I was in the Gallery of modern art and I realised after a while that I was no longer watching the art and instead I was listening to the people pretending they knew what they were talking about.
I wrote a piece about it with their overly long description and pompous phrasing.all I remember was the end line "as I walked away, thinking they'd just reviewed a light switch!"
I think I've visited the one in Berlin too if I'm remembering correctly, I think it had some black statues of cartoonesque shaped dogs outside it.
I've been put off travelling ever since lockdown, but reading your personal travelogues are making my feet itch for adventure once more.
I really like the idea of visiting Amsterdam again, finding a coffee shop and eating some cookies, then leave and scream at the canal "the sidewalk has melted!"
😃
Posted 4 Weeks Ago
4 Weeks Ago
wanderlust and its evil twin fernweh are healthy feelings to have, and one should embrace them. yet,.. read morewanderlust and its evil twin fernweh are healthy feelings to have, and one should embrace them. yet, it shouldnt be forced either - the longing for travel is a sign of vitality in spirit, nurutring that should be one's goal.
your part about artist appreciators made me laugh. yes, indeed, some people pretend to know more than they do. i think art is a liasion between a work and a viewer - but there was something blocking me as i looked on these masterpieces - i was emotionally numb, faint. that is why i still regret not truly seeing those works that in my head i know are incredible, but in my heart i could not sense that.
cookies from Amsterdam sounds delish. hope you have a safe trip.
4 Weeks Ago
I'll tell you if the cookies bring sny art to life! 😃
I have read the note but after the poem and in reading I felt a sense of contrasts in the poem. It felt like experiencing two sides of the same coin at once. Heights and depths of emotion through contact with humanity—art, architecture, friendship, history but also an unspoken sadness.
It can be difficult in the day to day to lose focus of those things that are heavy on the heart but here there’s a sense that the surroundings help to create two parallel narratives. The pain remains but the senses are fed nonetheless by the many things that they come into contact with. And the friendship that feels in some ways like the foundation for this series is there to draw one out of the sadness somewhat.
I really enjoy the writing. There’s a gentleness to some of the difficult emotions that brings the reader in. The plea for salvation —but not yet. I found that particular thought indicative of that duality at the center. We need something but also need not to have it yet. The poet reaches but is not always sure if the goal is to actually acquire the fruit, the relief. After all, there is always more to say. Painful as it may be. Not sure, that’s where it took me just now.
Posted 4 Weeks Ago
4 Weeks Ago
Eilis, i can always rely on you to read into my works btter than i can. contrasts have been the defi.. read moreEilis, i can always rely on you to read into my works btter than i can. contrasts have been the defining thing of my life. bipolar - it's in the name. and so while walking through the streets of this city, i felt being pulled by two extreme emotions. i felt love for this city - her beauty, her history, her ambience. but i also hated being alive at that moment. life is a ticket to the greatest show on earth - and i was thinking about turning that ticket in. but i lived, survived, endured, and by doing so there was a sort of salvation (that quote i stole from St. Augustine). being saved doesn't always feel good, so i've learned, but there is a sort of satisfaction in having overcome some difficulty. this trip helped me realise my strength, but also clarified for me that i am in fact mentally unwell.
i am still venturing between paralell narratives, and this is just how i am and i have to learn to live like this. im getting better at it though..
Ernest Lalor Malley Yoshimoto
Bipolar type II
Writes poetry, some free verse, and experimental short fiction/novellas. From Western Australia, based in Saitama City, Japan.
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