part I

I reccomend listening to the video/audio. here's the link:

https://youtube.com/shorts/P1Y6wCDdKJY?si=jlzmfXbYLT5oZ6pO   

 

(sorry, I can't seem to be able to embed shorts)

Part I
 
The lesser wish…
a moderation,
in a small, quiet shop
a quiet dream
the glasses half empty
a lone star.
How I wish upon a star
the dark of the night
an eerie blue,
the shadows soft
like velvet
curtains;
wrap around me, and us all
The fuselage of this Boeing A307
on its way

to its destination,
where all the passenger
disperse, never meeting again
after spending many time zones
together
sharing this canister
holding our lives.
 
. . .
 
Wrapped into one
suicide.
In anticipation of the grief to come
we hung around
by the riverbed
a creek
listening to the water trickling
gently and carefree
like we were
when we were kids, hanging
out. Now we look
over the body of water.
 
On the other side
there are many
ghosts
of old friends, past relationships,
memories �" forgotten, now unlocked
and restored

to you former glory,
we drink.
To health and happiness,
we drink.
And the endless games

summer nights
and early mornings
to sleep without any dreams
and count the stars from our backyard
those gems glazing across us above our heads.

in the pink and purple shadows,
glossing
like cosmic graffiti
heaven’s effortless hand
a veteran
of this craft.
 
And count, one at a time
as we slowly drink
then remember
and reminisce
good days, and trials overcome
forgetting everything else…

each evening fades
always
like a candle burning out.
 
Finding no one
around the corner
at the end
behind the light
on the rendezvous
and on time
early
remaining 15 minutes
then the phonecall
a dead line
the 30 minutes to an hour
and days.
 
And yet, no.
Under every stone,
searching
on every page,
between the lines and the words
writing in the notebook
continuing the search
nobody.
How the city is dead
trains empty
everything starting over.
 
…
 
2014

Reviews

[Eilis]

I like the tension in this narrative. It is as though the speaker has foresight but is not ready to accept what they know is coming. This is something like life itself. The always knowing something painful or distasteful is bound to come but trying to be in a moment.

There’s a lovely sense of awareness that strikes me in the words. Like feeling all that happens as though it all tattoos itself on the mind and body in an inescapable way. Being young has a certain quality to it that cannot be reclaimed as we age. Each new experience can be so sharp and intoxicating but also here you portray a sort of foreshadowing awareness that the people in the narrative recognize the ways loss and pain are bound to intrude. The way some words or lines are struck through make me think that the story turned in the middle and there’s a split within like before and after an event. I’m not sure, there’s just this tension for me that I can’t escape. Loss of innocence perhaps. But also blooming in experience. There’s a sort of duality.

I really enjoy the narrative style of this. The reading is expressive and emotive and makes me as a reader feel brought into the action. I like that dynamic quality of it. Really enjoyed as a whole and I look forward to reading more of the chapters.

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

you are, as always, an extremely sharp reader. this trip was ill-conceived and went awry in a very strange way. maybe not THAT bad, but it did not go according to plan, the plan itself being a dumb one. unfortunately, a lot of these points are not directly adressed in te rest of the work, but i may clarify what was happening in the notes as i publish the next chapters.
thank you as always for your comment. i am really excited to see your next poem or story.

[D. Mansfield]

Wow, that is an incredibly descriptive, very . . .can't find the word but it's an awesome poem

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

thank you!!!

[Eilis]

Your reading of the poem is excellent, the poem itself is excellent. I want to review more in depth when my head is clearer but wanted to say a little something now.

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

thanks Eilis. your shorter comments are always welcome, but please feel free to reread it any time. i hope you are having a good holidays.

[Lorry]

This reads (and listens) like a day in the life of anyone or everyone, but in far greater detail than you would see and hear from most, taking a thought and expanding it into not just what you see and hear around you, but also feel, which is the surprise of it all, when you realise that what it all boils down to is just another day(s) in the life(s) of the cast and crew of just one more day in the life of one person among many and that it could build into a great narrative tale if we could only hear the thoughts of all the others on board the day involved, like a naked city type tale.
I really enjoyed listening to this too, as it just gives it that added nuance that is you, reading your tale, almost whispering so as not to disturb the others caught up in the same day as you.
Very nicely captured.

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

thanks Lorry. this work was a lightly edited version of a mani-filled writing spree during a kind of weird trip to Berlin. im glad you enjoyed the textures - there's not much meaning but a lot of emotions and spurts of thought in this series.
thank you for dropping by and happy 2025!