I still remember you (Love poem #6)

just a low effort love poem

I still remember you
 although our time was brief.

That summer of twenty-twenty-two
 then you snuck away like a thief.

You could see
 only half of me,
the other half I kept concealed.

Broken parts,
 a string of hearts,
  and places that haven’t healed.

I’ve seen you unclothed
 I’ve seen you unloved
  I’ve seen you dancing in the street.

What if I could hold you now?
 What if, what if, somehow;
  What if we never meet?

 

I suppose you have forgotten me,
 that’s probably for the best.
Just a shadow of a memory
 lodged somewhere inside your chest.

Author's Note

wishing everyone a happy holidays. this is just one of my cheeky love poems. i thought something fairly light would be fitting for the season.

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

i don't think this is cheeky nor light .. it speaks deeply about a love in which someone has broken things off before getting to know the other more deeply .. maybe they fled in fear of that closeness .. or of the committment it takes to hang with someone and revealing weaknesses, doubts and fears .. i really enjoy your style of writing .. straight forward but closing creatively .. at least the few poems i have read so far .. very enjoyable Sir
E.

[Titilayo Sarah Eguridu]

How can a person walk away from love??
For some people love is not enough…
I believe it should be…
It is what it is.
This is painful
You transferred the ache to me.
This is a nerve racker.
Thank you for sharing Ern

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

i really wondered that as i watched her walk away. i did love her. im not the most exciting guy in the world, and i guess that was why she said no. but anyway, i wont let myself feel bitter about this. i want to remember everything sweetly.

[Titilayo Sarah Eguridu]

Life is sweet and sour.
We store the sweet and learn from the sour.

[FlaLover]

So heartbreaking! I was moved by your words. I have similar memories of someone I thought would be in my life for a very long time...it was beautiful albeit brief...

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

thank you. yes, my life is full of goodbyes. that's just been my fate. but i do treasure the memories and write when i am feeling wistful.

[FlaLover]

It seems we have much in common..writing helps me release pent up thoughts I can not otherwise express

[just rose.]

What interesting about this poem is its form and rhyme, it's almost a love letter but it's turning the form on its head in a way, because the audience of the poem is a beloved whom the poet seems to imply will not ever see it. The questions then take up an enormous amount of psychic space and you can feel the silence from the beloved between the lines. Excellent work.

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

that's a very interesting interpretation, actually, i didn't think of that. thank you for your comment. im very happy when readers know me better than i know myself.

[Michael Sun Bear]

Hello Ern. I am very fond of this poem. I just returned for another read through.

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

thanks Michael. this is becoming my personal favourite too and every time someone comments i re-read it :)

[John the Baptist]

Good rhyming in this one. The impression is it is about "the one that got away." There is both sorrow and anger in these lines, a recollection of something that might have been but wasn't. Love can hurt.

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

there was definitely a lot of anger - not against any person but against the circumstances we were in. the stars did not align...
thanks for the review. i hope you have a blessed day.

[Webster]

I absolutely loved this poem. I love the flow the melody. I was alone at home for Christmas this year, first time since I could remember, feeling really lonely. And this reminded me of that.

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

i spend most holidays alone, so i know how that feels. thanks for reading this, this one is one of my personal favourites.

[Laz K.]

"fairly light"? hardly. i think this is as serious as can be. "concealed/broken parts," loss, being forgotten? wondering about what if'? necessary ingredients to any tragic love story. no great conclusions or revelations, just a snapshot of a life, a mind, a heart. what more can a poem wish to achieve?

[Dylan Macadham]

Ah yes, Loves past, Loves lost ...
a bittersweet write that hits the heart.

[Neville]

Memories eh' who would have em .. but where would we be without them .. and what else keeps out the cold as good on these long winter nights .. An excellent love poem Ern & one that many will be able to relate to .. Regards and respect to both you and your pen sir .. Neville

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

thanks Neville. yes, memories are all i have and its good to be able to look back on them, even the disappointments, with a smile.