Is it even worth mentioning (Love poem #3)

love poem

 

Is it even worth mentioning
 how much you mean to me,
 how empty I’d be
without your reassuring
comforting smile?

Everything, everything.
Words are so vulgar
words are so vile
made fatuous by the sound of laughter
 by a touch
 to fondle your breasts
 to kiss your mouth
an afternoon unmeshed
by your smile, by your pout.

 

I need you, I want you

I know nothing, nothing
but that much is true.

Author's Note

sorry if i missed anyone's comments. i get over 30 notifications a day and some things get lost in the chaos. hope you are enjoying this series of love poetry by yours truly.

Reviews

[Eilis]

I like the tone you’ve struck here. Anyone who has been in love will know how many words gather in the throat as we seek the right ones to share. That’s what I thought of as I read this. When you love deeply no words or thoughts seem to be adequate to express the depth of those feelings. We seek invention, singularity, our own language to share with the lover. The poet writes poem after poem trying to articulate what it is they feel but again and again the words feel as though they fall short.

That is what I was think when I read this. That dance we do with ourselves to try to evoke the fullness that love can house within us. The words here create a sense of a mind racing as it encounters the newness, the intensity. Falling in love can feel like a spiritual experience. The lover becoming a deity in our eyes. I thought your words did well to encompass that state of love.

Have you read Neruda at all? I enjoyed your poem for the way it shows how love impacts in multifaceted ways. How it can mystify.

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

absolutely adore Naruda, although he didn't influence this piece. this was inspired by experience not literature. thinking about this person, i tried to put in simple words how i felt. the newness and intensity of it, it felt great and so i penned it to try and hold on to that memory.

Ern.

P.S i deleted that troll comment.

[Eilis]

Sorry, I wasn’t meaning to imply the poem was inspired by Neruda. Just thought you might enjoy his poems if you hadn’t read them since you are exploring love poetry.

[Lorry]

Sometimes words are not required, which is s mighty strange comment to make on a writing site, but you know what I mean.
Being in the moment with her, the look - the feel and being lost in the silence of the moment is all that is truly required.
Saying that though, your words aren't too shabby either! 😃

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

moments where words are not necessary are the best. but they do not last, while writing does! that's the one advantage the written word has. and so i guess i tried memorialise that memory of our time in my own way.
always glad to chat with you Lorry. have a good one!

[Marie]

Erotica pure and simple... A spellbinding write, Ern. Thank you for sharing..

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

i'm glad you picked up the sexy stuff in this little piece. yes, i have a dirty side!

[Ken Simm.]

Some things should just be as beautifully simple as this.

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

thanks Ken. i spent a lot of time brooding so now i try to keep life simple. simple pleasure, simple things.

[JustJulie]

How Beautiful! Well done...

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

thank you!!!

[Soren]

Love poem that is sent to us an erotic and confused a deep feeling for another very nicely written with careful word choice to convey its meaning

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

thanks Soren. i'm never not impressed by your intelligence. it is a bit of a silly work but there were certainly subconcious drives at play.

[JessyJacob]

I dont know you are 34 my sister is 41 yrs. You love teens i know

Really you did what i said put oil on body fire to burn more..

Serenade..
She proved prostitute then now.
He too proved he never loved me..

Thank you samartg you hav a bit houf name but a body of cunningnes. Looting families..

[Chris Shaw]

I was spellbound by the love felt here for your significant other. Truly wonderful writing. Love poetry at its finest. Little else to say, it has been said already by other responders. Kudos on a great poem Ern.

Chris

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

thanks Chris. sorry about that troll that kept commenting below. i deleted them.
yes, i kept things simple here so i doubt i will get a wide variety of responses. always a pleasure to hear from you though.

Ern.

[Chris Shaw]

You are welcome Ern. I feel sure you will get plenty of comments. Your poetry is a great addition to this site.

[Neville]

I can not think of a better opening few lines sir with which to make the point of love crystal clear .. you also set a fine pace until that eventual concluding stanza which is near magnificent .. Neville

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

thanks Neville. you actually pinpointed my intention. i was planning to make tiktoks out of these series of love poems and so the first line needed to be a hit. i'm glad the rest of it worked too. cheers!

[Neville]

you are more than welcome and good luck to you ..

[JayG]

The first five lines, which feel like a stanza, work as a fully coherent thought. But then:

• Everything, everything.

What can this mean to a reader who has no access to your intent for the meaning?

• Words are so vulgar

They are? Yet you're using them, and they don't seem so to me, especially because they denigrate the first stanza.

* Words are so vulgar /words are so vile / made fatuous by the sound of laughter / by a touch to fondle your breasts

Words are vile, and vulgar, and made foolish, by fondling a lover's breasts? I'm sure you have intent for the meaning of that section, one that differs greatly from what I got. But as a reader I have only what the words suggest, based on my life experience.

i can't help wondering if you were not, uhh...quite yourself when it was written