Untitled

Written while in the ICU. I was given permission to leave for a few hours, and I took a train to the coast.

what a treat!

what a feast

for the feet;

the wind blowing 

from the East

Should we head

for the coast

now,

or wait

for all the grey 

clouds to

dissipate?

yeah. 

you might wanna 

feel the breeze

in your hair.

And,

clasp some of 

that

golden sand

they call silence

Silver words 

escape your lips;

One hand resting 

on your hip

Cast your wet eyes

to them distant ships:

"Love" and "Pain"

make a beautiful alliance. 

Author's Note

Some deliberate typos.

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this reminds me of being in Salem, Mass.
I was at the oldest park in the states....and it was right off the coast. There was this house, two-story, and a roof that was used as a balcony and the wives would wait up there watching for the fishing boats to come in with their husbands.
I Am reminded of that...and quite enjoy the atmosphere you created that we can actually feel as palpable.

j.

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

thank you!

[Arundass TP]

Interesting piece of poetry though titled as untitled. There is much philosophical gems I see in this poem. Good one

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

yes, i could not think of a title as nothing felt right. and, i wanted the reader to come in without expectations. glad you found some gems in this madman's scribble! i hope to see you again, you are most welcome.

[Pete]

the author seems to be yearning for an escape. he desires to feel the sand, breeze and quiet but can still see love and pain off in the distance. he seems to be grappling with acceptance. i guess any escape is better than no escape no matter how temporary. nicely penned with deep, cutting truths.

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

thank you Pete. i'm in a somewhat better place now, but when i wrote this in 2021 it was like that. i'm glad you were able to pick up those feelings in this clumsily written piece.

[AYVID N]

A very inspirational poem that made me yearn for the golden sands of silence. How very evocative that imagery is of bliss. Picturing love and pain as two ships lingering on the horizon was also amazing. The poet can't wait to touch the coast, to feel the sea and the wind. That you wrote this while in the ICU tells me how much you yearned freedom and the coast. Very inspiring poetry!

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

thank you. i think you understood what i went through very deeply, and i appreciate you sharing your comments. and i am over-joyed that you found a little bit of inspiration from reading it.

[AYVID N]

You're welcome. Thank you for the inspiration that you shared.

[Lisasview]

Why deliberate typos???
I enjoyed the read...
Feel you will hate me for saying this but I wish you had correct capitals and correct punctuation...I feel it would make your words read better.
Have you read my poem Awaken? I think you will like it...
Lisa

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

Lisa, please understand i'm a rebel without a cause and typos will appearr here and there. you should also know that marvellous people just like you tried to tame this wild heart and left feeling defeated.
that said, i really appreciate your friendship and i will definitely check out Awaken.

[Lisasview]

I certainly did not try to tame you… I was trying to help you. Sorry if you are offended.
If it were not for the amazing help from my mentor my poems would not be as good. I always appreciate with open arms help.
Lisa

[Red Brick Keshner]

I find this amazing! There is a Japanese film (perhaps from one of the JFF a couple of years back) where a patient left the hospital for the coast and his doctor accompanied him. It was a very intricate and driven plot. But you have lived your own version of that. Hats off!

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

yeah it was a surreal few weeks in the loony bin, but the day i got to go to the beach was the day i decided i got to get better. i did not. but i decided i need to try.

[Red Brick Keshner]

That’s all we could really do, give it a good go! See ya round the site!

[Pryde Foltz]

Oh gorgeous. I really feel like I went to the beach with you and experiences the intense collision of beauty and love, and the fear of its lost. This poem is deceptive for its easy style but dense feeling. Konbatte!!!

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

thanks for dropping by! i'm so happy you read this poem, and extra glad that you understood it on all its levels. that takes a good reader ;)

[Pryde Foltz]

I hope I did. Did you tell me what part of Japan you are from. I worked many moons ago for Aeon near Hiroshima. That is why I ask.

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

i love hiroshima but alas i am in saitama. it's a smaller city and famously has no famous things in it.

[Pryde Foltz]

Haha ... which island is it on?

[Hallow]

I enjoyed this one a lot. It reminded me of the last time I was at the coast, myself. Home, more or less.

The ending was wonderful. Love and pain go hand in hand more than many realize. Great work!

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

thanks Hallow. i can still the beach where i stood that day in my mind's eye. i haven't been back there since, but visiting the beach has always had this soothing effect on me.

[Eilis]

I had a stay in the hospital a few years back and as I read this I felt again keenly the sense I had then of feeling two ways at once when I was able to leave. The thankfulness for having more time to just be and do simple things like fold my clothes or read to my children, and also the sort of heaviness of knowing the difficulties with my health weren’t over.

Your poem has this underlying feeling woven through it—the words love and pain you’ve put in quotations at the end sort of characterize this for me. The way it is possible and realistic to feel two things strongly at once. And to not fully understand either feeling. Or maybe to want to cling tightly to both to try to understand them and yourself better.

There is maybe a message to self in every thing we write in our dark or difficult moments. There’s the danger of losing ourselves or the hope that we can relish the coast even when standing beneath the grey clouds. This is a poem I felt. I’m glad to have read it today.

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

Eilis, thank you for sharing your story. it's hard for me to describe how i feel after reading your comment, but i am grateful that you read this poem. you have understood this text even better than i. for that, i will treasure this comment.

[D. Mansfield]

Very nicely done. I'm not smart enough to comment beyond that.

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

thanks D. and lol. it's cool, as long as you felt anything while reading it!