This Is The Me, That You Don't See

we all have the parts of us that for one reason or another we feel we can't show the world..........the parts of us that make us who we are.......the me that no one sees.........

These are the imperfections

That make up me

These are the emotions

The world does not see

 

This is my mentality

That you don’t understand

This is my dying soul

That you wont lend a hand

 

This is my pain

That shall never go

This is my sorrow

That shall never go

 

These are the memories

That cause me so much pain

These are the self acceptances

That I seek to gain

 

This is my life

That I won’t end

This is troubled mind

That shan’t ever mend

 

Author's Note

i say my life that i wont end because i bleive we die when we are meant to.........as much as i want it i will torture myself as much as i can until i turn that way

Reviews

[Blackbirdsong]

You say this but -

"these are the imperfection
that make up me
these are the emotions
the world does not see"

Which imperfections do you mean and what emotions? You've written what is essentially a list poem, but haven't really said anything.

Again -

"these are the memories
that cause me so much pain
these are the self-acceptances
that I seek to gain"

What memories, where? I see people reviewing saying you've revealed a lot, but I don't see that you've done that at all. I think you can definitely dig deeper.

[Amor-de-angel]

Never easy to reveal parts of ourselves to others.Nicely written, not too dark but hopeful words too.

[Elise O'Haire]

A lot of emotion right here. Good job of expressing feelings.

E.O.

[V. Lucien Maier]

I love this piece exactly how it is.

[Dwayne Spears]

A beautiful and poignant plea for acceptance in a world that seeks to capitalize on the fears and weaknesses of others. It can be very hard to expose yuorself in this manner, but you did so in a very brave and cathartic way. Sometimes it can be enought to stand up and say, this is who I am like it or not. I will not change for you. Do not judge me and I will not judge you. Well written.
Dwayne

[Amy Bromes]

You did a good job on this... you really put your feelings down one paper!

[Cynthia L. Cavett]

Very sorrowful and painful. I'm sorry that there is so much of it and I can really feel it when I read this. I like that you wrote - this is my life that I won't end, that's certainly very good to hear. It would have been nice to find out why that is though, was there any sort of self-realization that caused you to not end it? Will you not give in? Etc. Well written.

[Captain Blackheart (The..]

I like this..it work really well, keep up th good work. :)

[Rie Sheridan Rose]

a very sad poem...I feel your pain inside. One has to be careful with rhyme, but it works for you here. I wish there were a few apostrophes :), but they don't detract from the message. Well done, hun.