Tears of an Angel

I was listening to the song from Jack's Mannequinn The Resolution and afterwards this just sort of came to me

how did we get to now
and through this pouring rain
can you see the stars
hidden by your clouds
have you figured out
just look behind
where the answer always was
just exactly where you haven't yet looked

 

I'm not letting go
as the angels cry
as they see the pain you're in
and not a word was said
that this could be the end
but we all know it
yeah we all know it

I'm not letting go
as the angels cry
as they see how far you've fallen
another tear is shed
cause this could be the end
and we all know it
we all know it

 

and its your persistence
in saying its forever
that lets us know
that it really was never
can you hear the thunder
above the screaming from your heart
and have you noticed
that now this mist is getting thicker

 

I'm not letting go
as the angels cry
as they see the pain you're in
and not a word was said
that this could be the end
but we all know it
yeah we all know it

I'm not letting go
as the angels cry
as they see how far you've fallen
another tear is shed
cause this could be the end
and we all know it
we all know it

 

And now its back to you
have you tried looking back
the answers simple
but you can't see through this mist
only you can lift it
clear away this mess
only you're in the storm
open you mind when you open your eyes

 

I'm not letting go
as the angels cry
as they see the pain you're in
and not a word was said
that this could be the end
but we all know it
yeah we all know it

I'm not letting go
as the angels cry
as they see how far you've fallen
another tear is shed
cause this could be the end
and we all know it
we all know it

We all know
I'm not letting go
these tears of an angel
in this silent end

I'm not letting go
So don't let go.

 

Author's Note

this is a first draft but let me know what you think anyways :) ignore spelling etc just what you think :)
constructive critism most welcome thanks in advance

Reviews

[Kena Dawn Augustine]

I feel this was very good. Read llike a song, it flowed, and the repetitive nature of the poem is what most songs do.

can you hear the thunder
above the screaming from your heart
and have you noticed
that now this mist is getting thicker

i particularly loved that paragraph there. had some depth, and personally, i thought it was very good.

[Olivia Long]

Wow! it's so pretty and a little sad. It would make such a wonderful song.

Good lyrical beat and flow, words are chosen very well, and message is well imparted.

Great fundamentals here.

Wonderful piece.

[Pj]

Lovely! :D
Stunning words- well packaged lil parcel!

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

A very well written poem/song. Lovely. Thank you for sharing. Debileah

[Sarah]

Nice use of repetition - maybe a little long, and there are a few typos as you said... I think that with a little bit of revision, this has a lot of potential. =)

[poetic soul]

tears of an angel in the silent end... is something that always remain in the silence, in the dark... so that no one can see them.. but a few people know it, feel it, and care to share it!! :) nice read.. thanks for sharing this! :)

Regards,
Poetic Soul

[~angelalala~]

"can you see the stars
hidden by your clouds" i love these lines. i think this is a beautiful write. if you want constructive criticism, the only thing i would say is the repeating of the verse "i'm not letting go til the angels cry..." is almost too much, maybe say it only once, or even twice, just so the power of the words aren't lost when they are read over and over again. now i only said that because you asked for 'constructive' advice. i still love this poem. i like the spirit, the strength of the writer in this. never giving up on the person this poem is centered around. much power in your words. a wonderful read & a truly beautiful write.

[Rain]

Sure reads like a song. Needs music. The words, and the repetition make this a strong piece. You could read this as love being over, or humanity. I liked it,alot. Rain..

[callan]

realy nice and the imagry is gr8 it payed lick a movie in my minde tanks for the beautive read i ligthend my day thank u