Prolouge

 

Prologue

 

Silence held the lonely wood as the night began its turn to day, bathing the land in a dim, cold light. The tall trees had long ago lost their autumn leaves and a bitter chill covered the forest floor in frost. No song from bird or any other forest creature came to greet the morning in the long-forsaken wood.

            A sharp crackle of leaves cut through the dead calm and quiet, followed by another, as a hooded figure came into view. He warily crept along the weathered forest trail making for the crossroad not far ahead of him, taking slow controlled steps to lessen the crackle of the fallen leaves. The figure was layered in thick animal furs to combat the winter chill, which was no stranger to these lands of the north. In his great hands, he grasped tightly a great sword, a heavy and slow weapon nearing four feet in length. The man was no novice in battle; his six-foot frame packed with years of battle-hardened muscle and he held the heavy blade with such ease and grace that it could easily have been a natural part of his body. Aglaerod was his name and he had fought countless battles to defend his homeland, against hordes vicious creatures. Yet even as he thought back to his many brutal battles, he could not recollect a single time in which he was as fearful as he was then. The figure at last came to the crossroad and gave one final nervous glance around. With a raise of his hand, he signaled that the path was clear of danger.

            From behind the trunk of a tree two children came. They were dressed similarly to Aglaerod, who was in fact their father, with thick animal furs. Unlike their father though, they carried no weapon, and for good reason. The boys were much too young for fighting; the taller, elder boy having seen only seven winters past and the younger boy claiming only five.

            A loud crack split through the silent wood and echoed on for a great distance. The elder boy, Delgahn turned on his brother scowling at him angrily and motioning for him to be quiet. The younger brother tipped his head in shame; he had not meant to snap the branch with his foot. Their father motioned for them to continue towards him and as they approached him, he crouched down low to their level.

            “We must try to remain silent,” he whispered to them.

            “It wasn’t me! It was Edgahn,” the Delgahn whispered angrily, “He doesn’t watch where he’s putting his feet!” The younger brother dipped his head in shame again, but his father placed a great hand on his shoulder reassuringly.

            “It’s alright,” he said soothingly, “We’ve just got to walk a little further and then we’ll all be safe in Kaerdrim.”

            “Kaerdrim?” the elder boy asked frustratedly, “I thought we were going to Solowarc?”

            “We were,” Aglaerod said, his tone turning grim,” but it seems that we’re just going to have to travel a little bit farther.”

            “Where’s uncle Garll?” Edgahn asked abruptly. His father’s expression grew pained at the mention of his brother. Uncle Garll had traveled with them from their home in Dellthaw and had left the two boys and their father to scout ahead when they neared Solowarc. It had been nearly two days since they had last seen him.

            “Your uncle just had to run ahead for an errand. I am sure he’ll join us in Kaerdrim; and after we get there, we’re going to have a great big feast. A feast for a king! With mountains of your favorite pumpkin bread!” He nudged Edgahn in the belly as his finished, drawing forth a great smile from the boy, and turned back towards the road.

            “All right then. Let us be off-“the father stopped abruptly as a man’s scream of agony sounded in the distance. The three froze in place, the father tightening his grasp on his weapon. Another scream, this one from a woman echoed through the forest, closer than the first and then all became silent once more. They remained still for many moments, their father scanning the trails ahead for the source of the commotion.

The father stiffened suddenly his gaze locked straight ahead. “Go,” he whispered back to his sons, “go hide and wait. Do not come out until I have told you to do so.” The boys gaped back at their father, paralyzed by fear. “Delgahn, take your brother and hide! Now!” their father whispered more forcefully, sending them scurrying behind a tree.

            Several moments passed as the two children hid and their father waited apprehensively with his sword at the ready. Edgahn sat curled up on the cold, fallen leaves with his back against the tree, head between his knees, and arms over his ears and face. His brother sat next to him, anxiously peaking around the tree trunk, obtaining a decent view of his father standing still alone upon the crossroad.

            After many minutes of waiting, the father was not alone any longer. Four men were slowly making their way towards him from the direction of the screams. They wore hoods pulled low to hide their faces and they ambled forward in a stumbling, almost stiff-legged fashion, as though they were injured or ripe with old age. Their attire was comprised of the same, layered furs as was common in the area; the same as the father was wearing. Unlike the father, though, their clothing was tattered and stained in many places dark red. As they approached, the father lifted his sword higher, ready to cut down the strange men before him. His blade did not strike at them, for the four men came to a sudden stop a few short feet before him unthreateningly. They did not initiate any conversation; only stood before the father inanimately.

            "What brings the goodly men of Haldrinn to these desolate woodlands?” the Aglaerod asked. The four men remained silent and perfectly still. “How goes the battle to the east? Have the soldiers of King Gehldrr held strong?” Still no answer came from the four. Aglaerod glanced around uncomfortably. “I must go now. I have urgent business to the west and I can not tarry here any longer.” The father turned towards the west and took a nervous step. Instantly the four men went into motion, drawing forth their weapons; crude swords and axes. Aglaerod froze; regretting that he did not have his brother Garll by his side, as the four began to circle him.

            “Surely the goodly men of Haldrinn would recognize a friend?” The four closed in on him, weapons raised. “Or perhaps these are not the soldiers that I remember?” One of the men to the side of him lunged suddenly, slashing down wickedly with his hand axe. Aglaerod quickly brought his great sword up, stopping the attack in its tracks and with a quick push with his mighty arms he sent the enemy weapon flying back up the direction it came. Another of the men, one now directly behind the father, came in with his crude long sword raised. Aglaerod spun around, whipping his sword upwards catching and halting the sword perpendicularly. He countered the attack with a swift kick to the enemy’s groin that surely would have dropped any man, but his opponent seemed not to notice. Another enemy bore down on the father then, forcing him to leap into a roll to the side, narrowly missing a heavy axe swing aimed for his head. As he came up he turned to face yet another foe, whipping his sword forward and smashing the enemy sword to the side. With his enemy's sword arm out wide to its side, he took the opportunity to send his large right fist slamming hard into its face. His enemy's head snapped back, its hood flying up, and blood issuing from a surely broken nose. As the dazed enemy brought its head back down, he saw its uncovered face for the first time; a sight that nearly made him swoon.

            The creature's nose was surely broken, pancaked and issuing blood all over the rest of its face; but that was not the worst of his visage. With skin a pale-green hue and eyes that were so faded that they looked completely white, and the emotionless expression it wore on its face, the father could see that his foe was no normal adversary.

"What is this?!" Aglaerod yelled, taking a step back from the unnatural creature before him. "What cruel atrocity mocks the proud soldiers of Haldrinn?!" In response, the creature before him made coughing, gagging sound, which may have been interpreted as a laugh, and a wicked, evil grin spread across its garish face. The other three creatures closed in on the father who still held a look of sheer horror on his face.

            The unhooded creature raised its sword and slowing walked towards the father. With a quick horizontal swipe, the father smashed the creature's downward slash away, throwing it off-balance in the process. He reversed the direction of his great two-handed blade and brought it up over his right shoulder. The monstrosity threw up an arm towards its adversary; a rather pitiful attack that ended with the father's downward-heading blade cutting the arm off at the elbow. The creature staggered back, out of the way of the father's wicked blade, but, to the father’s horror, it quickly straightened and slowly advanced again.

            Aglaerod slashed with his giant blade at the mutilated creature, plowing through its meager sword block and cutting viciously into the side of its neck, passing through it with ease and sending the creature’s head toppling away from the rest of its body. The creature staggered, nearly collapsed, and then stood straight again. The father’s surprise was complete when the mortally wounded creature lunged suddenly, its blade jabbing forward and piercing deeply into his stomach. Aglaerod roared in pain and rage and swung his sword with all his strength, catching the attacker in the side of the torso and cutting it cleanly in half.

            The other three knew that the mighty man was wounded then, and they attacked him in unison. The father desperately swung his blade in front of him, trying to ward of the three, but his wound was deep, with blood spilling out uncontrollably. He knew that he would soon tire, or pass out from the loss of blood. After a few moments of wild swipes and dodges that came no where near the out-of-range creatures, he decided to try a new tactic.

            He yelped suddenly, lowering his blade and clutching at his serious stomach wound. The creatures, thinking him overtaken by his injury, lunged in on him; just as he had anticipated. With a fierce slash, the father parried the first creatures attack away, sending it flying away with a hard, follow-up kick to the chest. The second creature came on just as the other did, only to be turned away by another powerful parry, followed up by Aglaerod grabbing it by the front of the shirt and tossing the bewildered creature to the side. The third foe was wiser than the others. It did not charge the deadly man, rather feigned a few meager attacks, while keeping a safe distance away from that horrid blade. Aglaerod roared in rage and charged with a ferocious downward chop that surely would have cut the creature in two; if it had hit the creature that is. Aglaerod was stopped just as he started the attack, something taking hold of his legs and preventing him from moving forward and keeping the creature well out of range from his blade.

            He turned to cut whatever bound him but quickly froze in horror when he realized that he was being held by the upper half of the creature he had previously cut in two. The creatures decayed fingertips cut deeply into the fathers legs drawing forth blood and a cry of outrage. Aglaerod lifted one of his massive feet and sent it slamming down upon the creatures unprotected head. In an explosion of skull bone and gore, the creature was ended, its filthy fingers loosening their grasp. Aglaerod turned back to face the previous attacker, but stopped abruptly as an intense pain exploded from the side of his torso and continued on all the way through to the other side. He looked down to see a sword sticking through him. The sword of the creature; it looked strangely familiar to him now.

            The sword was retracted from his body, and Aglaerod fell to the frozen forest floor, inescapably dead. The two other creatures rose and joined the third that stood motionless over the father's corpse.

            The elder brother looked on in horror. He had just witnessed his father's murder. Now gripped in a paralyzing fear, he nearly fainted as the three creatures slowly turned their heads towards him. The elder brother saw the creature’s bloodied blade, soaked with the lifeblood of his own father. He knew that he and his brother were surely dead. Yet the three creatures did not move. They remained still, their gaze locked eerily upon the child. Slowly the creature who had murdered his father raised one of its decrepit hands and pulled back its hood.

            The elder brother gasped. Staring back at him with its blank, dead eyes and decayed flesh was none other than his uncle Garll. The creature smiled evilly at the boy for few moments, then signaled for the other creatures and him to be off. They slowly trekked back the way they came, across the frozen forest. The father's two sons were left alone with the corpse of their father. Edgahn sobbed quietly as silence returned to the lonely wood once more. The elder brother glanced around, tears welling up in his eyes.

The sun had risen in the east, bathing the land in its bright, yellow glow. A new day had begun.

 

 

 

 

 

 

………………

Reviews

[Lorelee Tate]

I have to say, this chapter was, overall, very well-written. I do have a few suggestions to make it stronger, though.

I thought some of the descriptions, especially in the first paragraph, were a little too flowery. Adjectives are a good thing, but only in moderation. For example, this sentence: "The tall bare trees had long ago lost their vibrant, autumn leaves and a bitter chill covered the leaf-strewn forest floor in frost," was a tad over-done. I would advise you to cut a few adjectives here and there, simply because too many all at once can be distracting for the reader. There wasn't too much of this in the chapter, but I think there was enough for me to mention it.

One thing I wondered once I had finished reading this was why only two characters, Edgahn and Uncle Garll, actually had names. It was a little tiring for me to read "the father" over and over again. It also helps the reader become more familiar with the character to give the character a name. Perhaps there is some important reason for this that becomes apparent later, but I think it would be a good idea to give the father and the older brother names.

Overall, the language in this chapter flows very well. There were a few sentences that seemed a little confusing, however. A few of these: "From behind the same tree the figure had come two children came," "As he came up he turned to face yet another foe, and quickly brought his sword across in front, whipping the enemy sword to the side," and "The father's surprise was complete when the creature he thought surely to be dead lunged, its blade jabbing forward and piercing deeply into his stomach." I would say that just about every sentence that I found slightly confusing could simply be reworded in order to be more effective.

Another thing about this chapter confused me: what are the father and the two brothers doing in the middle of the forest anyway? They're going somewhere, obviously, but why? I also think it might be more effective in the end when the older brother sees his uncle if the father had been thinking more about him earlier on, perhaps worrying about him.

My final suggestion has to do with typos. I noticed quite a few of them, many of which could be found by spell check in a word processor. Every writer is entitled to a few typos, but it's still best to eliminate as many as possible to make the writing clearer and seem more professional.

I hope you find this useful. In spite of these things, I really did like this chapter. As mentioned above, the writing was clear and flowed well. Feel free to message me if you're confused about anything or if you have any other questions.

Lora

[Amund Schofield]

Do not come out until I have told you do so."

you forgot the word to... as in to do so...

Anywho, beautifully written.

Very detailed and interesting. I felt like I was in the forest with the characters. The description at the beginning was a great opening and set the scene very well.
Overall I loved it. Keep it up