Death's Anthem

The start to a story that I am considering to write. Here, you'll simply dive into the main girl's mind.

My hallow chest aches,

as the appocolyptic world shakes.

It's going to fade away.

 

Fade away, like dreams,

that are forced away too soon.

Fade away, like stars,

that get blocked by the harsh moon.

 

Piercing eyes haunt the shadows,

they linger on my words.

Frenzied creatures prepare to pounce,

at the slightest hint of the absurd.

 

Hit it, Death's anthem is playing

Providing a rhythmic beat.

Back then I wasn't a fighter,

I passively accepted defeat.

 

They are closing in, gipping me,

now, and pulling me under,

with hands as cold as icicles

and voices commanding as thunder.

 

Shiver, weakling.

 

They boom,

my body complies

as I force the tears back,

away from my eyes.

 

Useless, They smirk,

as I try to gain control,

but their words have

already taken a toll.

 

I'm the puppet, now,

and their strings hold me back.

I'm the puppet, now,

and there is no going back.

Author's Note

Basically I'd like to know if you'd think there'd be a market for a story written like this. Any grammar suggestions are welcome, as well. =]

Thanks!