Chapter 19: The Northern Pass

Sid's farewell and a moment of truth.

Chapter 19: The Northern Pass

 

     “I am as clear as water…yet burn like fire…you desire me in your darkest hour…but regret me in your best. What am I?” Sid asked, glancing over at his two riding companions to see if they could figure out his riddle. It had been like this for the past hour or so. They didn’t want to ride too fast to make Fey’s wound reopen so they all agreed to take it slow and soon enough, their mender had closed her eyes to rest…or as Basil put it, a cat nap. The sun wasn’t helping as the temperature grew warmer. All in all, it was relaxing.

Not a single attack and testing each other was enjoyable. Basil’s tail curled in thought as he itched one of his ears.

“…alcohol?”

“Got it,” Sid responded. “You’re up.”

“Alright…hmmm…what is so delicate that even saying its name will break it?” The feline looked over to the hare, smiling at his riddle but Sid raised an eyebrow.

“…that supposed to be hard? It’s silence.”

“What? Are you kidding me?”

“Try again, kit.”

Even the dragon didn’t mind the small riddle war the two of them had started. Mentally, he guessed each answer before the other but let them have their fun. He raised his silver eyes to see their destination just up ahead, climbing the mountains with a thick cable.

The Northern Pass…

It was the only known way to get to the northern lands…unless a fool dared to venture through unknown caves where beasts could hide, ready to pounce. This was the safest way to help Fey. Speaking of which, Saei glanced down at her to see that she had fallen asleep against his chest cutely. Her ear against his skin twitched every so often…and he didn’t dare wake her. In fact, it was his decision for her to rest. The wound was still fresh and sadly, they wouldn’t have their mounts going over the mountain. It would be quite the trek…unless they found purchasable ones. It would be costly…but for now, they’d have to walk.

She’d need all the rest that she could. Pushing his hair back away from his face when a soft warm breeze blew, Saei rested his arm back around her to resume listening to his comrades.

“What can be broken without being held?” Basil asked, stretching his arms above his head while Sid rocked his head slightly in thought.

“…hmm…I’m not going to let you stump me…even if it takes me yea-“

“A promise,” Saei answered for him, glancing over at his brother who just smiled in response. Sid sighed at having his moment stolen but looked over to the older brother curiously.

“…now that we’re getting closer…what’s it like over the mountains? Or has it been too long?”

“…I really can’t remember much…” Basil replied with a slight frown.

“…nothing but ice…snow…crystals…and large beasts,” Saei answered while looking back down at Fey when he heard her heart picking up. She would soon be waking.

“…no greenery? No towns?”

“Some…once you pass the threshold of the mountains…but further north, it becomes a wasteland of frost.”

“…I know it’s where she lives…but wouldn’t it be cozier down here?” Sid asked but his ears swiveled when he heard the mender yawning. They turned to her as she pulled away from Saei to hide another yawn behind her claws with her ears moving in their own sort of stretch.

“Well good afternoon, sleepy-head,” Sid greeted with a smile and Fey groaned while glaring over at him.

“I just woke up…give me five minutes,” she whined and rubbed at her eyes.

“How did you sleep, Fey?” Basil asked and she smiled over at him.

“Great actually…sorry I dozed off. I think the sun got to me.”

“Don’t sweat over it. You take all the rest you need.”

The atmosphere around their group was very light and it made Fey’s heart feel at ease to know that no one was bickering or fighting, especially the brothers.

“Here,” Saei gained her attention as he reached into the side satchel on their saddle to pull out a small leather canteen filled with water. “Drink as much as you need.”

“O-oh, thank you, Saei.” She took the offered water to only take a small sip before corking it and put it back in the satchel for him since he was the one steering. “So, how close are we?”

“See for yourself,” Sid pointed straight ahead and Fey turned her eyes to where he gestured with a small gasp. The pass looked so majestic. A trolley car was already slowly making its way back down the mountain side and it’d probably be the car they took up while another one was already making its way up.

“Wow…it looks like fun.”

“I heard they can seat about ten customers per car and three cars are joined. One is a food car so basically you’ll be traveling with eighteen others if it’s full,” Sid explained.

“Food car?” Basil asked, his ears already perking at the sound of a meal even though they had just eaten about two hours ago.

“Freshly made. It’s small things like biscuits, vegetables, fruits, maybe dried meat? You won’t get a large king size meal if that’s what you were looking for.”

As they continued to get closer, Fey’s smiled widened at the new sites. She spotted a ticket station that was at the bottom of the lift where a few customers were already buying their seats. The trolley car came to a slow halt, steam rolling off the brakes as it parked at the boarding dock.

She couldn’t wait…

“Can we hurry?” She asked in a pleading tone, looking up at Saei. “I don’t want to miss the car.” The dragon met her eyes and saw how badly she wanted to reach the station before it had a chance to depart. How could he deny such a look? With a playful roll of his eyes, he smiled down at her and tightened the reins to get the rashein running a bit faster. Basil and Sid met his pace, racing beside him.

“Bet I can beat you there!” Basil smirked over at the other two and smacked his reins to send his mount into a break neck run.

“As if!” Sid called out and chased after him.

“We can’t lose, Saei!” Fey smiled wide and pointed forward. “Hurry!”

“Your woun-“

“I’m fine! I don’t want to lose and I know you don’t either!”

Seeing his brother and the hare putting some distance between them, a sense of competition rose in him as he tightened his hold on the reins to send them galloping forward. All his ears could hear was Fey’s laughter…and feel her arms around his body to hold on. With her head resting against his chest to protect against the oncoming wind, his heart pounded loudly in her ear at the excitement when he slowly started to catch up to his companions. After only a few seconds passed, he managed to ride between his competitors to push forward even more. His rashein panted harshly with its body slowly passing their steeds. Saei quickly glanced over at his brother to see him smirking with the same drive in his eyes as he started to ride side by side with them.

“I won’t let you win, brother!” Basil yelled over the roar of the wind but Saei narrowed his eyes with a huff.

“You’ll never win against me!” He pushed the rashein harder to pull out front with the station closing in fast.

Fey wasn’t sure who was going to win at this point for Basil started to catch up again and even Sid’s poor grioek was closing in. She clenched her eyes shut when the building kept getting bigger and bigger until she felt the mount beneath her slow down to a small trot before stopping completely, panting heavily at the run. She opened her eyes curiously only to see that Basil had his hands in the air in victory.

“Yes! I won!” He cheered with laughter, his mount walking in circles as if it felt good as well about beating the other two. Sid stopped beside them, panting a bit himself with a huff.

“You both have rasheins…how am I to keep up?”

“Too bad!” Basil laughed and looked to his brother to see if he was angry about the loss…but even Fey was surprised to see Saei closing his eyes with a small nod, admitting defeat.

“Last call! Ride to the Northern Pass!” The man at the station yelled, ringing a small bell in his hand to gather the attention of anyone nearby who needed a ride over.

“We better hurry,” Fey said and carefully slid off the saddle and untied the satchels that mattered. She carried with her the one that held her book, map, clothing and her uiorl. The small lixum plush stuck out from the top, its tiny paws holding onto the edge with its cute face smiling wide.

Saei dismounted and led his rashein to a hitching post, removing the last of the satchels which was only the medical supplies and their money. He allowed a small smile as he ran his claws over the steed’s neck.

“…thank you…for getting me this far,” he whispered and the rashein whimpered, nuzzling his hand.

“Someone will care for you…but this is farewell.”

Basil climbed off his own mount to fetch the last remaining goods, which was his stuffed prize and a bit of food that they managed to bring. They would need it in case they rested somewhere that wasn’t a town.

Sid smiled sadly as he remained on the back of his grioek, watching as they prepared to head into lands he never thought twice about.

“…I suppose this is farewell…” he told them, drawing their attention and it seemed it had slipped their minds that Sid wasn’t going with them. He was only a guide after all. Fey frowned and walked over to the side of his mount.

“…you’re really heading back, Sid?”

“Yeah…I have a bed waiting for me…kind of miss home…it was quiet…” He told her and slowly slid off his two-headed mount to lay a comforting hand on her head. “…you be good…okay?”

“…we’ll miss you, Sid,” she frowned but he pulled his hand away with an accusing finger pointed at her.

“Uh uh uh…wanna try that again?”

She couldn’t help but smile at his last tease. “…I’ll miss you, Sid.”

“That’s my kitten. Go find your home. Send me a letter, okay?”

Unable to form words, Fey just smiled while holding back tears and embraced him tightly. The hare’s eyes widened in utter surprise…since…she had never done this before…but he cleared his throat nervously and placed an arm around her.

“…alright get out of here before I change my mind and take you back home,” he threatened but she pulled away with a giggle as Basil came up to him.

“I know we had our differences…” Basil started and Sid scratched his ear.

“Yeah we did…it’s not every day you see a hare and a cat traveling together.”

“Thanks…for everything, Sid,” Basil smiled and offered his hand to him. Sid looked down at it oddly then back to him.

“No goodbye kiss? Really?”

“Sid, don’t ruin it.”

Both ferals softly laughed but Sid took his hand in his hands to give it a firm shake.

“…you take care of her…got it?”

Basil looked back to see Fey bounding off to go ahead and grab their tickets before the man sent the trolley off.

“I will.”

“There are three types of females in this world…ones who steal your money…ones who steal your life…and ones who steal your heart. She’s the later…those are the rare ones,” Sid released his hand as Basil backed up. The hare looked to Saei next who merely glanced over at him. “…didn’t know you for long…but you should be proud of Basil…as your brother. He’s a great feral…and I’m not just sucking up. Take care of them both…”

Saei met his eyes but nodded.

“…care for yourself as well, hare.”

“Will do…now you got a mountain to climb.”

Basil looked back again to see Fey waving at them to hurry. The thief took one last look at Sid with a sad smile and hurried over to the mender while Saei bowed his head to him before following shortly after. Sid remained to smile at their departure.

 

 

Fey was the first one to climb into the cable car, amazed at how beautiful it looked on the inside. It was well furnished with patted seats that could sit two with another one across in case there was a group. The car she entered already had a few ferals inside who didn’t pay any mind to her.

“Where do you want to sit?” Basil asked, entering behind her as Fey moved down the aisles to find some empty seats away from others just for privacy reasons.

“There is good,” she said and reached up to place their satchels above them in a closed compartment.

“Careful with your wound still,” he frowned, taking some of her bags to help her put them up top but her small lixum plush fell out to plop on the floor. “Whoops, sorry,” Basil bent over to scoop it up but Fey gently took it from him.

“I think he’ll want to see the sights as we ride up…I’ll hold onto him,” she smiled which made Basil blush a tiny bit but he turned away to put his own bags away. Saei entered finally and spotted them.

“We were given this car?” He asked, coming up to them, his head nearly hitting the ceiling.

“Yeah…the conductor said the front car is for humans. Some of them can be a bit…judgmental…so it’s only safe if we’re in this car,” she answered with a frown but Saei paid no attention to it as he placed the remaining bag easily with the others. Fey took a seat by the window, looking out curiously…but oddly didn’t see Sid anywhere. Maybe from where she sat, she couldn’t but she did look out across the plains.

“…you going to miss it?” She looked beside her to see Basil had taken the seat and she smiled sadly while Saei sat across from her.

“A bit…it was all I knew…no matter how horrible it was…so…I’m a bit nervous.”

“We will be fine,” Saei reassured her and folded his arms across his chest to relax back in the seat, his eyes closing. Fey smiled, setting her lixum on her lap to look back outside. She would never see Hulei again…or Treaish…or find out what else this southern part had to offer. She placed her claws on the glass.

‘…thank you, Yhisin…for allowing Saei, Basil and me to get this far. You helped so much…’ She said a soft prayer for the fallen feral and looked back down at her stuffed prize for a moment in thought. Did they even know where to head once they were over or was it a blind guess?

“Saei?” She looked over at him in question and his eyes opened. “…do you know where to go once we are over?”

“No.”

“That doesn’t really help,” Basil chuckled and stood from his seat to reach into their satchel to pull out the map. He rolled it out between their seats to tap the picture of the pass.

“So…we’re here…” His claw traveled only an inch to the other side. “…looks like our best route would by this way,” he suggested with his finger heading northeast toward the hidden mender village.

“Wonder what that is…” Fey pointed to a small image that was right above the pass. Basil leaned in to get a closer look.

“…hmmm…looks like a swamp…”

“It doesn’t have a name though…”

Saei glanced down at the map from where he sat. “We will go around it.”

“Might take a day or so,” Basil suggested but rolled the map back up until they were off the trolley to figure out their destination.

“I’d rather lose a day than to come across something we cannot face,” Saei closed his eyes once again to lean back in his seat.

“Guess you’re right,” Basil noted and stood to put their map away just in time for the conductor to enter the car.

“We will be departing shortly. Make sure all luggage is secure and remain seated until we depart,” he announced and shut the door behind him before entering the next car connected to them. She caught a glance of the food that was already being prepared and the smell wafted in. It smelled delicious…and only having one fish in the last few hours…only made her stomach rumble a bit which she tried to hide but her companions looked to her.

“G-guess…I’m a bit hungry,” she told them shyly but Basil laid his hand on her shoulder with a smile.

“Once the cars start to move, we’ll go grab a bite to eat. I could use something sweet.”

“So could I,” she agreed with a smile but Saei opened his eyes to watch the exchange, his gaze landing on his brother’s hand that was touching her shoulder. He inhaled deeply but looked out the window when the cable car hissed as the brakes were unlocked. Only a slight jar was felt and slowly, the scenery outside their window started to grow smaller.

“Can’t believe we’ve come this far,” Fey whispered fondly, her eyes glowing to watch their slow ascent up the mountain. Thankfully, it wasn’t a steep climb but it would still take a good hour and a half to get to the top and that didn’t include traveling down the other side.

A small bell rang out through the cars and Fey guessed it was to signal that it would be okay to walk now. From behind them, there were hushed conversations but a feral mother with her child walked by them to head for the food car.

“Guess that’s our que,” Basil smiled and stood, allowing Fey to stand as well while putting her lixum on her seat but she looked back when Saei didn’t follow.

“…you’re not going to eat with us?”

The dragon glanced up at her to see within her eyes that she wanted him to…but when his silver gaze noticed his brother right beside her, he turned his eyes back to the window.

“Go ahead.”

“I can bring something back…” She frowned softly but he didn’t answer her. Once again, the wall had been put up or he had left to somewhere where she couldn’t reach…and it only made it hurt that much more.

“You’re hungry, Fey. Come on,” Basil suggested, noticing his brother’s quietness but took the mender’s hand in his to lead her down the aisle and into the next car. Once they were gone, Saei released the pint up air and rested his head in his hands. He could feel the scales and where his horns jutted out…and he knew traveling north would only make it that much harder. The closer they got…the more he would have to cut off his thirst. His own heart twisted to see the look of hurt within her eyes…and to know it was caused by him. With a small growl, he lifted his head away to lean it back against his seat but his eyes drifted down to his injured knee. Even now…it felt a bit tender to move it. Curiously, he slowly extended it with a wince to feel bones scrapping against the other before stopping.

“I’ve not seen your kind before…” said a gruff voice near him. Saei glanced up to see a rather large feral, just like himself, but this male had a long mane of fur jutting out from beneath his normal hair and he had long ears pointing up from his scalp.

“…I’m not surprised,” Saei replied, looking away. “…most…if not all, have died…long ago.”

“…my apologies,” the feral bowed his head but offered his hand to him. “Vol…yourself?”

The dragon looked back up to the feral and took the offered hand in a shake. “Saei.”

Vol glanced toward the second car before turning back to Saei.

“How far north are you traveling?”

“…as far north as the snow fields,” he answered vaguely. No one needed to know that they had a mender with them.

“That is a long way. My advice to you…do not venture to the west into the Ipsial Woods.”

“Why is this?”

“The northern lands are still a mystery. Most travelers who go north never come back…and those that live there never travel south. It is shrouded with unimaginable things…but I’ve heard rumors of a being in the Ipsial Woods…goes by the name the Silver Snake King. Apparently, as stories go, the trees are covered in blood from how many victims he has claimed…but just stories.”

Saei had never heard of such a thing…but…then again…it had been years since he had returned home to the snow fields. Many things changed…

“…I appreciate the warning.”

“Safe travels,” Vol bowed his head to him and made his way to the second car, seeking food to leave Saei alone with his thoughts once more. He already knew the journey into the harsher lands would be a strain…but he closed his eyes again to put the worries out of his mind.

 

 

“I don’t know where to begin,” Basil licked his lips, salivating at seeing all the dessert lined up along the second car. On one side were appetizers and desserts while the other was meant for main courses and the sweet aroma was heavy in the air. Of course, on the other side were a few humans who kept their distance but Fey made sure to stick close to Basil who sampled a small pastry that made his tail curl and his skin shiver. “Fey, you have to try this. It’s so good!” He exclaimed happily and she just giggled at how much of a little boy he was acting like.

“Keep your voice down. We’re not the only ones here you know,” she chastised and took the same small pastry he had just tried to bite off a bit of icing, making her moan in glee.

“Good, right?” He smiled and took another one. “I’m going to see what appetizers they have. I’ll be right back,” he patted her head and walked down the aisle to look like he was shopping. A few other ferals had joined them, taking small bites, and talking amongst themselves but Fey smiled at feeling a bit better after the silent encounter with Saei. She had no idea what made him suddenly change…but hopefully he’d remove the wall once they returned.

With a soft sigh, Fey reached out to grab something else but gasped when two large hands covered her eyes from behind. She was close to screaming or at least punching whoever it was but a familiar voice tickled her ear.

“Guess who, kitten?”

Her heart dropped and she tore the hands off her eyes with a look of disbelief when she saw none other than Sid standing behind her with a cheeky smile.

“Yo,” he greeted. Her eyes quivered as if she was seeing a ghost but she couldn’t help the wide smile that came across her lips and she hugged him just as tightly as she did when they departed.

“W-w-what are you doing here?” She choked on her words and it didn’t help when they were muffled in his chest.

“First of all,” he started and gently pulled her away at arm’s length. “If you’re going to snuggle with me, at least let me take you on the first date. Second, I thought it over and the long trip back home would be boring and bland. Lastly, you really didn’t think I was going to leave you alone with those two.”

Teasing or not, Fey rubbed at her eye to try not to cry at seeing her friend again.

“S-so…you’re coming with us?”

“Kitten, even if you begged me to leave, I wouldn’t. Seems like you’re stuck with me for life,” he ruffled her hair which she couldn’t help but laugh at. An elderly feral passed by them but noticed the affectionate nature and couldn’t help but smile.

“Are you two a pair?” She bravely asked with a wrinkled claw pointing at them. Sid looked at her with a smirk and placed his arm around Fey who went from happy he was back to now looking annoyed.

“Why yes, we are.”

“A hare and a cat?”

“Odder things have happened, ma’am but it makes things more exciting.”

Fey’s face flared and she roughly elbowed Sid in the stomach who doubled over with a cough from the blow.

“Aww, you two seem to be cute. Have a safe trip,” she wished and left them alone which Fey was grateful for and glared at Sid as he regained his breath to rub his stomach.

“I told you when you’d least expect it,” she folded her arms but Sid just rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

“For being so small…you sure do pack a punch. Keep it above the belt though, okay?”

“Sid, I swear,” she growled but he laughed and took a step back with his hands held up defensively.

“I have reached my teasing limit for the day. I’ll have to wait for tomorrow.”

“Or never.”

“Aww, that’s harsh,” he smiled and looked up to see Basil returning with some dried meat but upon seeing him, his face paled.

“Yo,” he greeted and Basil quickly rushed over with narrowed eyes.

“What are you doing here? I thought you were going home?”

“I bought my own ticket and decided to lend you all a hand. Heavens know that you need someone to liven up the day.”

“…did you know that you were going to come along anyway?” Basil glared and Fey also looked up at him in confusion.

“Did you make us think you were leaving before we departed? Was it all a show?”

“Hmm…fifty fifty. I was thinking of leaving but wanted to stay…so all the sadness wasn’t wasted.”

Fey really felt the need to hit him hard again but she just growled and took one last pastry with her to storm off back to the feral car.

“Uh-oh…oh well, she’ll come around,” Sid shrugged and hung his arm over Basil’s shoulder. “Why don’t we go enjoy this food as pals?” The feline rolled his eyes, mentally annoyed that Fey had left due to this idiot…but he guessed they were now stuck with Sid for good.

 

 

“I can’t believe he’d make me feel sad and then turn around to do that,” Fey muttered under her breath. She closed the car door behind her with the pastry in her other hand. She was a bit too angry to eat…so…maybe it could be a small offering for Saei or at least bring his mood up. Nervously, she looked across the expanse of the car to see only a small family of ferals had remained sitting…but…Saei was gone. She didn’t see him entering the second car…so…he must be somewhere around here. With a frown, she walked down the aisle to see another door at the end of their car that had a small ledge like balcony outside for travelers to see the sights without being cooped up. Maybe he was there. Walking past the family, Fey opened the door and immediately felt the cool breeze that was being blown across the mountain. She stepped outside with her gown wrapping around her legs to smile at finding who she was looking for. Saei leaned against the railing, his back to her and his hair flowing to the side due to their ascent.

Not wanting to interrupt him, the mender stepped over to stand by his side to look out at the landscape with him. A few trees were growing along the side of the mountain but it was mostly broken rubble from possibly past landslides or storms. The wind felt nice against her skin and just being beside him, even in silence, made her heart calm.

“…it’s really beautiful…” she whispered, her ears folding back as she leaned on the railing with the pastry now between both hands. “I enjoyed the forests…the plains…but…I think I miss the snow more,” she talked mostly to herself, not sure if he was even going to reply.

“…it is where we were raised…” he said.

“…even if not…I always loved watching snow being blown across the hills…to see something so…perfect that was made in nature…it makes you see things differently.”

He didn’t respond to her comment and she fought off the need to just give up, allowing him space. She needed to know more…even though he told her to wait. It was a bit too much.

“…I’m not sure if you were hungry…but I brought you something,” she told him and held up the pastry for him to see. For a second, she thought he was going to politely decline but to her surprise, Saei wrapped his claws around her wrist to bring the pastry up to his mouth in her hold to take a small bite from it. She did her best to fight back to the blush, failing miserably but giggled when he clenched his eyes shut.

“It’s too sweet…” he whined and wiped off his mouth with the back of his hand.

“You never did have a sweet tooth,” she told him and took a bite from the pastry since she clearly enjoyed it. A bit of icing stuck to the side of her lips but she licked it off happily before remembering why she was even here.

“Saei…I…I think we need to talk,” she started with a frown and turned to face him. The dragon straightened his back but turned his head to her, his hair now blowing over his horns.

“…I am listening.”

“No, it can’t be just listening…we both need to talk about what is going on.”

“…which is?”

She frowned more before sighing and lowering her eyes. “…I know you told me to wait until we reached home…but that’s still days away…maybe weeks…and I don’t know how much longer I can take of this.” She braved to look up at him to only see him looking down at her, wanting her to continue. “At times…and…it’s embarrassing to say…but since you won’t let me speak, it’s the only way I can say it. My heart swells…and it feels like you’re real…you’re right there with me…but something flips…whatever it is that you know that I don’t takes over…and you shut me out. It makes it hard to reach you,” she clasped her claws together nervously. “When we were kids, I enjoyed being with you and Basil. I really didn’t want to leave when father made me. Back home, it felt like…a part of me was missing.”

She raised her eyes to look out at the passing scenery and leaned back up against it, feeling more comfortable with the emotions pouring forth.

“But when we’d return…that missing piece would be filled. I cherished each moment I had…and held onto those memories when I lived in Hulei,” she whispered and her eyes started to brim with tears. “…I knew that…somewhere out there…you and Basil were okay…but each day grew harder and harder…I grew so tired…and so weak…” She lowered her eyes as a tear finally fell.

“I was sick so many times to where I couldn’t keep food down…and I felt so alone…but when you two found me again…I was so happy…” she whispered and raised her eyes to wipe away the tears with a shaky exhale. “But…more than ever…I feel even more lost…over the years…of holding onto memories of you…only made it worse…and here you are before me…” She turned to him with a frown, his silver eyes not moving to soak in each word. “…but then again…you’re not. Each time I try and get close…each time I try and tell you…you silence me…and it hurts, Saei. I don’t know what you’re hiding…but if it’s going to hurt me…well…it hurts more keeping it from me.”

A soft wind blew between them to pick up a few strands of her hair as another tear escaped from the corner of her eye.

“…and you won’t let me say what I so desperately want to say…you make it worse with your touches or…kissing…am I just…stupid for feeling this way…? I’m trying to wait…I really am…” Her voice grew quieter as she found herself with no more words to say. All of her cards were left out on the table for him to decide what to do next…whether that was staying silent or telling her what he always told her.

Time ticked by but she saw a slight ounce of movement. Saei’s eyes closed heavily as he deeply exhaled.

He remained like that as if thinking…

“…Saei…let me speak…please…” She pleaded with a frown and took a step closer to place a gentle hand on his arm, making his eyes open to stare down at her. “…allow me that…”

“…how selfish…” he whispered and her eyes slightly widened to see his pupils turning into slits. “…if I could…I would keep you hidden from the facts for the rest of your life…but you have…more than enough right to know.” Another tear flowed down her cheek with her heart being squeezed when his claws came up to stop it from going further.

“…I wished not to tell you…for I know the outcome…but you may speak…and hear me speak in return…ONLY…if once I confess…you still see me as Saei. You must promise me this…”

She really wasn’t sure at first what he meant…but felt a heavy weight being placed on her heart, dreading what it could be. If she would handle whatever was bothering Saei…whatever was keeping him behind a wall and her out…then she would be able to express to Saei what she had been hiding for so long.

“…I promise…” she whispered, feeling as if the world was closing around them.

“…I will give my confession then.”