Rain

"The cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears or the sea." (Isak Dinesen) Expanded version.

My prayers for rain

Brought unexpected results,

In salt tears

From my sister’s eyes…

 

I wonder if their scent

Mimics the spring air

Sweet and salt laden

From the nearby sea.

 

Wind and rain together

Helping her heal,

Face bathed in two cures:

Tears and the sea.

 

Reviews

[papaed]

This is not as obvious as it could be, but my opinion is that a short piece needs to carry more impact... a second layer of meaning.
prayers for rain could be thought of as metaphorical... a prayer for a cleansing experience for your sister... the tears are a result of that cleansing, purging experience... but you are separate from her and only wonder if her salt tears would remind you of the salt sea air nearby. I wish it were a little more clear.
Thanks for sharing with us.
papaed

[Benjamin L. Weekly]

Taking the other two reviews into account, I found this short poem pleasing. While I agree that it lacks something, as Papaed said, the strong impact of a short piece, it has something special nonetheless.

It is clear to me that these tears are those that are happy, for the last lines mention they are "sweet" like the sea air.

So I am glad for the happy message this brings, that of glad rain, prayed for, and received.

Thanks for sharing,
- Ben

[Christopher 'Windstorm'..]

well here it goes... it seems to be two stories ramed together, forced to fuse together or a camera flash as u take the picture. look in the depths to find the truth cascading and unlawfull imprisoned. maybe their should elaberate more and builds a bridge that takes the two paragraphys flawlessly together more then forcing two distinct images to relieveate themselves to torment.

i understand that writers are chaotic by nature so maybe it was just two thoughts that happened simutaniesly, it can happen. with as much that is going on it is too loud to hear the meaning that you were going after.

i believe it has potential. keep trying

blessed be!