Commonplace

Chapter 1: Commonplace

 

 

 

 

            “How am I blazing through these problems?” He was learning and doing in the most unconscious fashion while thinking about pop-tarts in his 9 O’ clock math class. “I’m certainly smart but damn do I not care. Hah, it’s funny that I realize this.” BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNG!!!

The bell rang. “Yes.” He got up and began to gather his stuff. “Hold on a second.” said the math teacher. “Don’t forget you owe me homework on multiplication in Algebra tomorrow.” He hesitated, then got up and walked out of room 520. Out in the hall, commotion was a-buzz. Maybe, young people talking about finding themselves and what they wanted in their lives. Maybe, talking about how they were going to accomplish their work for the following day, maybe just a pleasant break of interaction after monotonous class sessions. “I don’t know. I can’t help anyone. I can’t even help myself. So why do I want to know so badly?”

Passing by people standing by the windows, onto the ones gathered in large groups. Standing there, gawking, phased by his own perspective and where he wanted to go. Suddenly looked to his left and saw them. His favorite people, the only people in the school he even cared about. Making him feel happy, yet timid, for he had no will to be socially assertive. Luke, Shaun, Joseph, Caroline and Sara.

            Standing outside of the next period English class, “I already think they’re the coolest people I know and they have their priorities in order. Just like me!” He thought with a smile. Luke, someone he didn’t know before high school. Almost perfect in any physical sense. He had an affinity for clean, fit dress and modern music. A true individual with a wild aura of inner-confidence and that he wasn’t another carbon copy of “I am more than the here and now.” He wanted to be just like him. Better yet, a different version of him. But, still gain his trust and acceptance.

            Shaun, a fiery headed and headstrong, humorous, yet sharp character. Had the eyes of a man before the age of 16, and yet this humility that was inviting and radiant. Nothing like he is and he didn’t want to be. Joseph was a shy guy. No one would expect though, from one who wore extremely bright outfits that oozed optimism and love. Somewhere between the lines of indie and hipster, really he wasn’t either of those things, just a normal guy who is kind in a generation of underdogs, facades, and silver spoons.

            Caroline was from the city, now in a suburb full of make-or-breakers. No one knew much about her at first. She would give you this feeling of pain and anger behind the loveliest smile and dark eyes. Paired with dark, yet nice clothes. Partly an Asian-American in a town full of impoverished blacks, ragged skaters, upper-class whites and middle-class culturists, it would be an understatement to say she is, “quite pretty”. Even with that, she was also shy, but this group wasn’t going to let her go-it-alone. Then there was Sara. If there was anyone that is nothing like the environment she was in, it was her. But, subjectively, that’s what makes her likable. Slim-framed, almost to the point of frailness, was also one to wear bright colors, but on a different palette. The quirkiest, down-to-earth girl with a mind that would rival that of a modern cartoonist and probably the most accepting of them.

This small group with almost no social binding of fallen culture or rising subculture was who he craved to freely associate with. He began to walk over, with anticipation and nerve. He swooped in and stood among them. He didn’t know what to say, he didn’t care. He didn’t care much about what they were saying, just to be was okay. They were discussing something along the lines of a gradual adjustment to becoming friends. Luke, Shaun, and Joseph were discussing if they wanted to participate in sports, or other activities and how they could hangout and help each other get their work done. Caroline would laugh and Sara would listen intently. They were literally discussing their social gathering as it was happening. “These are go-getting free thinkers.” He thought. As nervousness faded, he felt a shred of embarrassment wave over him. “I’m not outwardly expressing myself, not the faintest clue is given.” He was thinking about what he listened to, his hobbies, he knew, yet didn’t quite know or how to show it. Through his personality or what he looked like. Saying a few words here and there, and was the odd-man-out with graceful dignity. Tough and emotional, poignant for a lack of any stability, he is the true “coolest-loser”. Not too cool, but impressionable, to say the least. He wanted an in-depth understanding of everything whether it was going on around him or not. But, these people were his focus. He wanted true friends that would love him and not street him wrong. Enter English class. After sitting down for close to ten minutes, a hefty lady about 50-so years old walks in. “Good morning and hello class. My name is Mrs. Leeds.” Returned with a resounding, “Good morning, Mrs. Leeds.”  Drowning out the echo of the room, he was thinking about what he’d known of the subject of English. “Why don’t they call it Literature class? Oh well.” Looking down at his navy blue notebook wondering if he were a poet or a songwriter, what would it be like? He began to lay out the design of his notebook. Bad timing. “Brett…” “Here” “Michelle…” “Here” “Shaun…” “Here” “Trevor…” - “Trevor…” “Here” “Caught myself there.”

Looking around in some attempt to focus in class, head up and wide awake. He ignored funny looks and wasn’t fazed by any thought of awkwardness. Despite his faded blue jeans, white shoes, black shirt and long, wavy hair. He designated his time to an attempt at good grades. Although, unconsciously he believes he had a history of bad grades for lack of effort and motivation. He was willing to try harder though. He wished Sara was in the class, he wouldn’t feel so small. He too was skinny for his age. His newly given English “teech” assigned some grammar work. It took him some time to get some things like pro-nouns. As soon as he exited the class so did, “Literature class” “Finally! Pop-tart, chicken sandwiches, and chocolate milk” This means lunch.

He couldn’t afford to pack lunches, but ate like a bat-out-of-hell in the cafeteria. He sat down next to his people, except for Luke, who wasn’t in this lunch period.  “Hi, Trevor!” said Caroline. With a cheerful enthusiasm that shocked him to his core. He didn’t show it though. Daring, and with a presence, said,” Is that an Emblazoned Erin hoodie?” A band he had been listening to recently and was enthralled by their style and lyrics. “Yes! Ha. Oh my god, no one knows them.” “I’ve been loving that Look Alive album.” He said with a grin, and went back to eating. Shaun and Joseph were somewhat conversing. Mostly all stuffing faces though, with youthful eagerness.

 

Growing over the course of half-a-year, English class became easier and easier. A sort of niche for Trevor, though somehow, he ended up making less than favorable grades. Focus and adherence was key, it seemed. Right back to the lunch-room. Same time; same place. He finished eating early and went to dump the trash from his tray and turn it in. Shaun also did the same, but he says to him, “You should call Caroline a chink, tell. It’ll make her laugh.” Trevor decides to comply without a second thought. As he sits back down he says, “Caroline, are you a chink? She opens her eyes wide and says, “Why would you say that? Do you know what that means?” He says, “No, I don’t” With a puzzled look. “It’s a demeaning word for Asians. I am Chinese. You know” she insists. “Yes, I know” he exclaims with a gulp. She stops, thinks, and laughs. “Why would you ask me that if you don’t know what it meant?” Taking a portion of a minute he belches, “Heard it through the grapevine.” She laughs even more, almost losing her s**t. “That’s so ridiculous. Stop letting people put ideas in your head, man.” He laughs too with a hidden hectic disconcertion.

Following yesterday’s dissemblance, there was a feeling of scorn at the lunch table, though not coming from Caroline. From Shaun, it seems. Maybe his intent had failed or maybe frustrated he wasn’t giving up after a tense conversation. Either way, he didn’t care. It was all about proceeding. He ate quickly again, this time, dumping his tray and coming back to sit down. He decided it was time to face his would-be friends. “I... Don’t know if you have any idea why I hang around you guys. I… don’t know who to talk to nor do I want to talk to anyone. I… could be wasting my time, but I don’t think so. You two, and Luke, are the only ones I give a s**t about in this place.” A look of awe and confusion “Dude, is something up? Are you okay?” He hesitates- “No, I’ve just… never had friends I could actually relate to before.” “So what are you saying?” “That I want to be friends with you. I know we’ve never done anything but talk and do schoolwork but that’s all I’m saying.” A mutual glance and then smiles “Okay, well come back to my house again sometime soon and we’ll just chill.” The year was coming to a close and he was doing everything to pull himself up in English. Trying to do his part in a group project was just good enough to fulfill its purpose. The day had come. He decided to say screw it and walk to Shaun’s house from the school. With his one-tracked-mind he didn’t think to call his Mom. He didn’t care. Knock-knock-knock. He was greeted by two pairs of eyes. Shaun & Joseph’s. They both had intrigued looks on their faces. What seemed like an entrance turned into a parade around the house. They were looking for their other guests.

Caroline, this guy named DJ and his sister, and another girl named Katelyn. Found in the living room, turns out they were blasting music and talking amongst themselves. Walking back to the computer where the music was playing, Trevor opened up the only way he could. Looking through the library as they scrolled, looking at names he’d seen and hadn’t. Discussing bands like Saosin and rappers like T.I. Afterwards, there was some dance music playing and everyone was laughing at the three of them dancing. Suddenly, Shaun and Joseph were dancing together in the most comedic fashion. When Trevor decided to do the same, Shaun went off like two-pounds of dynamite. Stuck him in the face and walked off. Trevor takes a step-back. Unconcerned with getting hit, but rather why and what to do as a guest in a hosts house. He speaks to DJ; as well Katelyn is sitting there. He tells him what happened though it would seem obvious. “Yes, he hit me.” “Are you going to do something about it?” “I really just don’t get it. I thought we were just messing around.” “I thought so too.” “I have no place to be fighting in his own house.”  A ring at the door. Trevor decides to get up. Luke is here. He’s greeted with warm enthusiasm. Especially by Joseph and Caroline. Shaun is probably still disgruntled. No signs of showing it though. Just as soon as Luke walks in the door he knows. “I’m done, I’m out.” He goes up to Luke and gives him a manly “dap” handshake, just as if he were greeting him. Walks back to Joseph and Caroline who are standing adjacent to the computer and says, “I’m out of here, tell Shaun I said thanks for the hangs.” “Uh, ok man” says Joseph with wild looks of confusion from both of them.

 

Before he can exit the side door, Shaun comes from around the corner. “What’s wrong? Are you leaving?” “Yeah, I just… have some make-up work to do.” “Okay, well, see you later.” Walking away he thinks, “Couldn’t tell if that was a look of regret or disappointment.” He walks to the nearby park and calls his Mom. “I’m not the best at dealing with conflict.” he shudders. Looking out the window of his Mother’s car he thinks Shaun just hates him and Luke probably thinks he’s two-faced. “I know I’m not these, but… what… am I?”