When i got lost?

From my brother..

《When i got lost》
    

    "Where am i?"
    I whispered to myself as i opened my eyes carefully, a strong red lazer light was threantening my eyes. My brain was blank and i could hardly remembered anything. Loneliness & fear were slowly destroying me.Nothing but silence and vacancy.
    I pushed up my body and looked around. And I noticed that there's someone sitting right beside my bed. 

    The guy spoke first, "Hello, Maria, feeling better now?" He smiled gently.

    Who is he? Where am i? And how does he know my name? -- I have lots of questions in my head. But then, i realised my throat was as dry as desert, felt like burning inside. 
    He ignored my struggle and continue to introduced himself officially, " My name is Jom Charlotte, don't be afraid, this place is called White lane, i just came here not long ago too, hahaha!" He laughed dreadfully ; i shivered and turned my face to look at the white concrete wall quietly without speaking anything, as if he was talking to the air. 

    He carried on, " So may i ask you a few questions?" 

    I did not reply so he just took my silence as a "yes", " What happened to you? Do you remember anything? Why do you look so familar? And..." he hesitated and looked into my eyes solemnly; just like how fathers look at their sons when they do something wrong.
    "...And when you got lost?"  He's done with his words.
    When i got lost? What kind of question is it? But why is it so familar?

    " Don't do it or die..."...
    " Maria, please! Once for all!"...
    " White lane means......"
    "No!!!"......
    
    Those words suddenly suddenly appeared to me. it was so actual that i even doubted there was someone shouting beside my ears. 

    I couldn't help it anymore, those words kept repeating and resounding in the room. I enclasped my head and screamed terrifyingly, hopelessly and helplessly. I fainted.
    
    I opened my eyes. This is the second time, once again; the white ceiling, the pressurized room, the "prison", with my body tied up to the handle. My soul is trapped, just like a throstle in the cage. 
    I took the fruit knife on the cabinet, cut it on my wrist. Let the red fresh liquid flow freely through my arms and dye the blanket into red.
    
    "Maria, once for all, just this time, please listen to me, please no,White lane means Deaths!! It's hell, they are ghosts, not humans!"
    "Sorry, mom, let me go, i can't leave without Jom Charlotte!"
    "NO!!!!!!" ... ...

    The first snow of the winter falls, red in white, white in red. The coldness of the sharp wind may blow on.
    All those misery, shall be gone, with tears, with blood.

    When i got lost?
    I ain't lost, I belong to here... ...