Stay Afloat

A little about me.

I frantically scribble down the little dribble of my thoughts,
I can't tread water so I piddle paddle in the dark,
There's not a speck of light out, not even a lighthouse,
So I'll relax in my thalassic basket and bask in my drought,
I sky dive without a parachute even though I'm afraid of heights,
Because in this blink-of-an-eye life you can't be afraid to die,
I'm not afraid of the journey, I just don't want to be forgot,
I'm unable to take refuge in a religiously Swiss cheese plot,
I live life like the captain of a sinking vessel,
With no first mate, so my path is of a Thanatos death row,
We all walk the path, some were blessed to find a map,
But I'm lost in this terrain so I utilize the rain as my bath,
Some people view the darkness as repulsive,
But without it, the light would not be perceived as effulgent,
I have a compulsive disorder where I always gotta speak the truth,
And progress is halted by public schools corrupting youth,
I like my solitude, it let's me clear my head,
But without the people that were there to breathe for me I'd be dead,
I'd be fed to the lioness who caresses her canine,
Against the flesh in attempts to strike gold in my mind,
I'm old in my mind, I've been told this time and time again,
And I guess I have some wisdom in between the lines and my pen,
But honestly, I don't see what they see,
I'm just another fragile psyche that drowns in his thoughts; not the sea.

Reviews

[613]

"I'm just another fragile psyche that drowns in his thoughts not the sea." The ending to this poem is very moving. However, I suggest either putting a semi-colon or the word "and" before "not the sea" to conclude. Otherwise, it looks like a punctuational error.

Overall, this was an amazingly worded piece with a theme I feel a lot of us can relate to. Nice work.

[~EO]

Thank you, i really do like this piece a lot so i wanted some feedback from different perspectives that might see potential flaws that my mind wont let me see. So thank you!

[613]

You're quite welcome!

[Ana B.]

I like the self imposed solitutde and pondering in this piece....i guess no one can see what the other can see....may we learn how to swim in our sea of thoughts....lovely write :)

[~EO]

Thank You for your kind words :) In solitude i find my chaotic peace so to speak.