Recognition

Only one thought coursed through my mind when my eyes opened for what seemed like the millionth time: How am I even still here?

I hadn't eaten barely anything. I was drinking more than I was eating. I couldn't sleep. I was sweating and shivering and at the same time still delusional as ever. I couldn't even move anymore. So why was I here? What was the point of my existence?

Is my sole purpose simply to exhale hot air, only to breathe lies and deceit of those I trusted? Why is nobody bothering to know where I've been? Do they even care?

Did they even care in the first place?

I unstuck my eyelids long enough to see around me: the glare of the sun right in my eyes. Wooden ceilings. Rough, scratchy floors that were strangely cold. I held my withered, burned hand up to the light to shield my eyes. Instead, all I saw was the light falling around my hand, my fingers.

My eyes fluttered shut. I couldn't even feel hunger anymore, couldn't feel thirst gnawing at my throat without remorse. To think that all of this had begun simply because Markus ruined my hand...

So. Are you just going to die here, then?

I gave a short laugh. 'Probably.'

Are you just going to be okay with that?

'I don't think I even have anything else to live for. All I do is... exist.'

Sure, you do. But is that enough? Is this how you want to be remembered?

One eye unstuck.

'What do you mean...?'

Is this how you want to live? Is this how you wanted to be in life? What about dreams, ambitions? Goals? Where did all those float off to? If your past self saw you now, what would she tell you to do?

Both unstuck. I could see the light blinding me.

'She... would tell me to get up. She would say to move. To leave. But it's not like I have any choices either way. Past Ramona was... a fool.'

No.

She was just living. Can't you see that? Past Ramona would think that you're in a binding situation right now. She might even think you're hopeless. But SHE WOULDN'T TELL YOU TO JUST GIVE UP. SHE WAS LIVING. SHE WAS UNSUSPECTING OF HER BOYFRIEND. SHE DIDN'T SUSPECT EVIL WITHIN. SHE WAS ALIVE. SHE SPOKE, SHE BREATHED, SHE LAUGHED. SHE WAS NOT THE PROBLEM AT ALL. SHE IS SIMPLY AN EXISTENCE.

As are you.

The light disappeared just as suddenly as it came.

~~~

It happened later that night. The biggest mistake I had made, the biggest event that happened. I still can't make sense of it, you know. How was I supposed to...?

Markus came home incredibly late. That was the first and foremost problem.

I could tell by the way he looked at me with those exhausted eyes of his, practically boasting about himself being home. Like it was supposed to be a celebration of some sort. I didn't even try to look at him, simply staring at the floor as I greeted him. 

"Hello, dear." My voice was broken. "What brings you home so... late?" Markus didn't respond at first. He set down his briefcase with a loud thud on the counter and turned to face me. 

I smelled alcohol.

An unhealthy amount of whiskey, it seemed, saturated the kitchen in it's reeking scent. I felt my nose crinkle slightly, trying not to either cry or run away. He was drunk. Always drunk nowadays. Like he had nothing better to do than throw up and get hungover. It was probably true, though.

His steps were shaky as he stumbled over to me, his eyes crazed. It vaguely reminded me of how he had acted the other night. Before he hurt me. Before he burned me. Before he did everything terrible.

I want to go home.

I didn't move. I didn't blink. I couldn't. Not even if I dedicated my life to moving, to breathing, to life itself... I was unable to do anything. I was still powerless. I was still insignificant.

But you've changed.

"WHY ISN'T ANYTHING EVEN DONE, dear?" His voice started as a loud screech before erratically soothing into a normal tone. He was beyond pissed at something I couldn't control. Did it look like I could work for him right now? Did it really, honestly look like I was in the damn mood?

"Because you don't deserve it."

That was the last thing I said to Markus as he pounced towards me, immediately reaching for my ruined hand. I gasped at the sudden movement, attempting to dodge as my leg smashed into the corner of the dining table. Damn. What do I do now?

Markus reeled back around, having still gone after me in his drunken state. He was angrier than ever now, clearly enraged that I'd bothered to dodge. I could feel adrenaline beginning to kick in, flowing through my veins as my eyes flickered around the room. I had to get out of here, but where to go? It was late at night. If I stayed, there was a chance that Markus would wake up with no memory of this. I would go about my normal schedule. Nothing would change.

Is that really what you want?

'What?'

Is that what you want? To stay here. After this long, you still want to be here? Is that the real truth?

Markus was gaining on me. I scrambled to the front door, tripping over the polished wood floor and my too-thin limbs scraping against several various pieces of furniture. I had barely turned the lock on the door when I felt Markus's rough hands grip my shoulders.

My eyes squeezed shut. 'Of course, it's not. You of all people should know that, Doubt.'

The monster opened its eyes in intrigue. Ah, so you recognize my name?

I squirmed out of Markus's grasp in time to swing the door open. 'Of course, I do! Everyone knows who you are!'

Its eyes closed just as quickly as they opened. Ah, I see. Then... LEAVE.

'Oh, don't worry. That's what I had planned.' I tore out the front door, Markus stumbling along with me into the porch. He just barely managed to grip my ruined arm before he tripped over his footing, slipping to the floor with a loud bang.

Did this mean...?

No, no time for thinking. Markus would probably get back up. I was barefoot then, jumping across the rough rocks and dirt of the road, pulling myself up over even tiny ridges. I could barely move as it was. The only thing keeping me going was one thought: Freedom. I felt free, running through the cool night air alone, gasping for breath that wouldn't come. Sweat trickled down the back of my neck, pattering along the ground until I heard something I thought I didn't hear at all:

"Ramona?"

Liam's voice rang out in the woods, loud and clear. I froze, my heart-shattering in fear as I turned my head around to face the noise. It was pitch-black, slightly sweaty outside... But I could see a silhouette. Staring at me, dark and foreboding.

Liam. 

I only stole a glance for a moment. I only saw his kind eyes, his concerned look on his face for a second. A single second, which didn't leave me enough time to savor and remember it. It was only another second until I collapsed right into his arms. 

The exhaustion caught up with me; the only thing I managed to do before I completely clocked out was, "Take me with you" in barely a hushed whisper.

~~~

I had a dream.

A dream that Doubt came up to me. I could see its face eerily clear in the shadows, staring at me with red eyes. But I didn't feel afraid. I didn't feel exhausted or worried beyond anything else. I felt strangely at peace. Like a sense of accomplishment. But what had I done...?

The remains of my hand instead reached upwards to touch Doubt. It felt evil and sad, twisted. But I felt bad about it. It existed only to make people feel bad about themselves and the things that they did. If that was its only purpose, then what was the point of it at all?

I closed my eyes and relieved it of its duties.

~~~

I didn't open my eyes when I woke. I acknowledged my awakening but simply didn't move. Every time I opened my eyes something else happened. So, I wondered, if I just didn't open them, what would happen instead...?

But no. That was silly. That wouldn't solve anything in the end. I heard somewhere, softly, a voice start to speak. It made hardly any noise, silent and foreboding under the circumstances.

"Are you awake now?" 

My eyes shot open when I recognized the sound. Different ceilings awaited me, a dark shade of blue with spots of white-colored across. A starry sky.

The mattress below me made me sink right into it, the comforter covering me nearly suffocating me with its warmth. I felt oddly refreshed, blinking a few times to make my eyes see more clearly. Did this all mean that I slept for once? I hadn't done that in days.

"Oh, so you are. Are you okay, Ramona? Does anything hurt?" I heard him mutter I was sure that I tied those bandages tight enough... under his breath. I still didn't move, my eyes glued to the starry sky above me. I wondered about that sky. Did he do it himself? Did someone else do it for him, so he could be reminded of the true sky late at night? Did he admire the flames above us so much that he felt the need to memorialize them?

I didn't know what to do, what to think. I was in a new place, now. I was near a stranger. What does one do, exactly? Did he take care of me? Did he put me here on purpose?

My eyes shut slowly. I couldn't just accept this new reality of mine. Was I away from Markus, even if only for a day? Was there anyone out there who could hear my deepest questions, and give an actual answer?

Cool hands slipped across my forehead, a slight mumble coming afterwards. A grunt. A chair squeaking from being lifted, then put somewhere to the left of the room. A heavy sigh, and then words.

"You can open your eyes, you know. Markus isn't here."

This time, I shot out of bed. What he just said implied that he knew what had been going on. Before I could get a single word out, however, I had to take in my surroundings.

The wall in front of me was filled to the brim with bookshelves, books and documents crammed messily inside. The floor was covered in different plush rugs, all different with different textures, to the point where you couldn't see the wood underneath. The walls were all painted dark blue with stars across them, posters and photos of various stars in solar systems covering them. One single window cast a faint glow of bronze onto some of the rugs. Sunset. A desk was just barely seen amongst the piles of books and papers, littering the ground with more pictures of stars and solar systems.

This room is littered with the stars.

And in the middle, standing in front of the bed with a concerned look on his face, was Liam. Broad-shouldered. Strong. Arms crossed in a sort of determined manner. He looked... different than before. But a grin exploded on his face when my eyes met his.

"Hey! Are you alright? I've been worried." He took a couple of steps near me, near the edge of the bed. His smile faded slightly when I didn't say a word. To be honest, though... what should I say? I was speechless in this situation...

"In this situation" seems to be the only thing you can think about. There isn't anyone else even IN this situation, so would you quit thinking about what you're SUPPOSED to do and just do it?

I stared at him for a long moment before managing to utter two words: "What happened?"

His smile broke in half, his eyes drifting to the edge of the bed, near my feet. He settled on that spot slowly, making the mattress seem heavier with the new weight. He took in a huge breath as if gasping for air. Then, with a heavy exhale and sigh, he spoke.

"I saw lights coming from your house, even though it was so late. I couldn't stop thinking about them." Liam sighed once more, the air blowing his hair back onto the top of his head. "So I decided to come down there."

"When I was nearly at the place, I heard yelling, things smashing around in there. I almost turned around out of shock, honestly. But then you came bursting out the front door, your boyfriend behind you, clutching your arm."

"You collapsed into my arms and asked to take you with me."

Ah, yes. Being pathetic at its finest here.

My eyes widened in slight surprise. 'And who are you?'

This monster's eyes shot open, an impossible shade of piercing cobalt blue. The color of the night sky, sprinkled with sparks of white. Stars in its eyes.

I think you already know.

Liam spoke with his voice becoming quieter and quieter, more hushed in the tone of the room. "I dragged you up that hill, desperately trying to wake you up, to see if you were okay or not. You were totally out, though. You didn't wake up for anything," Liam gestured to a clock above the most packed bookshelf, "and ended up sleeping for a whopping 16 hours. I mean, how does someone even do that?" Liam grinned at me once more, making me want to sigh in relief.

But at the same time... 16 hours? I gave a slight chuckle at my actions. That actually sounded like it would be the norm for someone who hadn't slept, hadn't moved, hadn't lived for the past few days. For the person who was so defiantly alone, who was so socially awkward and terrified. That was normal.

I didn't respond. "I noticed that your bandages... they were all ruined. Ripped with the effort of a struggle. I redid them for you." Liam turned to face me, his green eyes slicing through my soul with intensity. "What happened to your hand?"

I froze. Oh, damn. What now?

A blush of embarrassment crept across my cheeks. I should be replying. Should be saying something, at least. But I had no ideas. My face was growing hotter and hotter from frustration and humiliation. Tears sprung up into my eyes and I felt only the sensation of sheer shame seep through my wobbling bones. 

Liam sighed. "It's alright. I shouldn't have asked you that when I already knew the answer."

I whipped my head up to meet his gaze. He was still looking at me intently, so strong and powerfully. Like he was staring at something of importance. But there was something else in those emerald eyes of his, I knew. They were kind and gentle, generous beyond comparison. Something made my heart swell when I looked into them, awaiting his explanation.

"I suppose that I owe you an answer for that one..." Liam scratched the back of his head. "Mmmm... I think that it was the first day that I got here, about a month ago. I was busy unpacking things from the truck."

He turned back around, facing the door now on the bed. I pulled my legs up to my torso, resting my head on my knees as I listened. "It was sunset. Someone knocked on my door, and when I answered it, it was your... boyfriend. Or I suppose I could also say captor?"

How the hell...?

"We started to chat. I thought he was okay, and that I wouldn't mind having him as a neighbor. But then, just before he left, do you know what he said?"

I didn't move.

"He said... 'Stay away from my w***e of a girlfriend, would you?'"

I had to give a slight smile at that. Of course. I should've expected that Markus would pounce to claim his property before anything else got done. 

Liam continued. "That was when I knew, really. There was this... determination in his eyes that told me he was serious. Not the slightest bit of hesitation in his features. He wasn't kidding about it. But that just made me all the more curious as to what he meant in the first place."

My eyes fluttered shut. When was this going to end...?

"Do you know what chains are, Ramona?" I perked up at the question. I suppose that I was still somewhat exhausted. I stared at him while he simply stared right back, not repelled in the slightest. I sighed heavily before responding.

"I know what they are, but I don't know what connotation of chains you're referring to." Liam's eyebrows rose in intrigue. 

He replied with a small voice. "I mean... things in someone's life that hold them back. Constrain them from doing normal things. They can be people, things, events... but everyone has some at one point or another. These chains that make their lives become unfulfilling because they can't break free or learn about what freedom really is."

My eyes drifted to half-mast. I can't even begin to describe how accurate that is...

"I saw your chains right from when I first saw you." Liam pushed his colorless glasses up to the top of his nose before they simply fell back down again. "Your face... sunken, exhausted, traumatized beyond relief. You were so skinny, so frail. But you were still there. Still alive, still breathing. And when you ran, I knew that you were still capable of feeling emotions."

Liam turned completely around on the edge of the bed, his hand reaching for my burned one. I felt every muscle in my body freeze up as he grasped my hand with now both of his. His head leaned down slightly, to the point where I could only see his eyes. They turned sorrowful and full of deep remorse, shuddering to a halt right before me. My hand gave a small twitch as he pressed his forehead against my bandaged hand. I could feel how cold his skin was even with my hand being numb. But he rested there, holding my hand to himself as he spoke with a broken, shattered voice:

"I'm sorry... that I couldn't help you before this happened." His voice cracked as he squeezed those jade eyes of his shut. The warm sensation of hot tears seeped into my bandages, and my eyes widened in surprise. He was crying...over me? The fact that he couldn't do anything about it beforehand?

That was silly to think, Liam.

"I'm the daughter of the Syleman Group. That huge investing company." Liam's head shot up to meet my gaze, water now slipping down his cheeks just as fast as it appeared. He seemed to give a sort of mangled mumble at that before I continued, cutting him off.

"Markus was my boyfriend for a couple of months before we came here. I used to live in Boulder, you see." Liam just sat there, the tears simply freefalling down his face now. The amount of tears seemed to be escalating with every word I spoke. "But he convinced me to move in with him, told me that we could be happy together. And I believed him. Until... of course..." I paused for a moment, my eyelashes fluttering when I saw how Liam's eyes had suddenly become even more impossibly green with the tears.

"A month after we moved in together was the first time that he hit me." I gestured to my jaw with a sort of awkward smile before realizing this was not a laughing matter. "Right in the jaw. Couldn't barely eat anything for weeks."

"That was when I came to know that he knew just how much money I actually had inherited from the Group. He was just using me... for my money, all along."

Liam's eyes shot through my bones. "How long...?"

He didn't need to finish. "It's been two and a half years since then."

I saw Liam's jaw drop at that. At first, I couldn't tell what he was feeling, thinking. But those eyes of his said it all. They conflicted between shock, to anger, to simply a feeling of acceptance in a matter of moments. That's incredible.

He stared at me long and hard, letting my damaged hand now slip to the sheets. I pulled it back without another word, observing that my bandage was now slightly soaked.

Here was my chance. "So, Liam..." One final tear edged off his eye before he gave me a "Huh?". I swallowed nervously, my hand reaching up to scratch the back of my neck before I spoke.

"Liam... thank you."

At that, he immediately lunged towards me, to which I flinched with the recollection of Markus doing the same thing. But this time, he wrapped his arms around me, meaningfully and powerfully, pressing my head into his shoulder.

"You're welcome."

Author's Note

GAHHHHHH I FINISHED
this is a super long chapter, i know. but im in class rn and just keep having ideas lmfao. so here it is. YYAYAYYAYAYAYYAYAYYYAYY im actually super happy for Ramona even if she's my own OC. daammmmnnnn

Review what you think!