The Line

 

The Line

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You would never cross the line.

Never admit the truth to what's going on behind that fake smile of yours.

But I knew.

I always knew the truth.

It's just part of how I am.

I know things about people that they don't want to admit to themselves.

It's just that lately, I've held back on telling them.

You didn't know what was wrong with you.
Constantly surrounded by death.

And yet you held no reaction.

That was you coping.
It's what you're doing right now.
It's why I let you run off.

When you're upset you get quiet.

You isolate yourself.

Turn your thoughts against yourself rather than what's truly wrong.

Then by the time you realize it..

You're all alone.

And you're left with that regret and dread.

I was similar to that.

I like to hide.

Run away from the people that care about me.

Because deep down.

I always believed I would be better off dead.

But I could never admit that to you.

How could I?

With everything going on?
It's a struggle to merely wash dishes each day..

So I brush it off. 
Letting my depression turn into anxiety.

My anxiety making me make mistakes.

Mistakes that make my family start to hate me.

I can't remember the last time he hugged me or told me he loved me.
And maybe its better off that way-