A Change of Pace

To the ones who struggle with change.. It's okay.

A Change of Pace

_______________________________

I have changed.                  

I am not the person I once was.

Maybe this was my fault.

But maybe it was yours too.

I loved the quiet.

I would sit and read.

Avoiding the people chatting.

Until one day I joined them.

Maybe I’m the knave.

I’m the liar.

Untrusting of anyone.

And everyone.

I desired attention.

I was the people pleaser.

I wanted to become everything

Just for you.

You proved that I didn’t need to.

I didn’t need to lie.

I didn’t need the world’s attention.

I didn’t need to change for “better.”

How is misery any better?

Why do I have to be miserable?

Can’t I choose?

Why won’t they let me choose?

You called me.

I was on the verge of tears.                          

I stayed silent.

You spoke anyway.                 

You reminded me.

I have to think for myself.

I deserve to live a life.

One without this stress.

I have chosen something for myself.

You would be happy for me.

I won’t get to find out.

Not anytime soon.

I need to say goodbye.

To my best friend.

Who I would have never known.

For only a year.

A year is a short time.

I’ve known others for longer.

But they don’t compare.

You were always the favorite.

You understand me.

Better than I understand myself.

You deserve every good thing.

That has or hasn’t happened yet.

I love you.

In a different kind of way.

The way where I will miss you.

For the rest of my life.

Thank you for everything.

For as long as we may pick on each other.

I am honored to have known you.

Which I would never have done. 

If I hadn’t changed.

Author's Note

Can you relate?