My Last Mistake

My Last Mistake

A Poem by Enitte
"

What happens when humanity gets exaclty what it wants.

"

 

Eternity is craved and desired

By does who fear death and nothingness

I ate that forbidden fruit

And a cruel fate, I awaken alone.

 

All around me moving, pulsing

Jealous of my being

They desire my nightmare

I desire theirs, the irony.

 

Everything went on, lucky.

I stayed in the sidelines.

Eventually everyone vanished

Like a ghost; I stayed, I cried.

 

I was one of them, foolish and naïve

Craving for immortality, infinity.

Like a stone carved, replacing my body

I was forever forgotten in time, I stayed.

 

 

© 2011 Enitte


Author's Note

Enitte
People sometimes don't know what they want and they forget the most important things in their life are right in front of them.

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Reviews

This is very well written, the imagery is fantasic. Its true that in life people sometimes forget how lucky one may have it. Whether it may be their family and friends or someone that they are close to in life. They dont seem to realize it until the person that they were close to has passed on, or the realationship with that person is broken for good.

The 2nd and 3rd stanza: (2nd) "They desire my nightmare I desire theirs, the irony." - I would say that its like society wanting to know everything about anything. What went on between you and the person you were close to. So in turn with society wanting to know everything about the situation that went on, you want to know what they are saying about it as well.

(3rd) "Everything went on, lucky. I stayed in the sidelines. Eventually everyone vanished like a ghost; I stayed, I cried."- So while things were being said about you, you stayed 'on the sidelines' and waited for everything to cool down once more. But after everyone dissappeared and didn't care anymore in turn you left feeling hurt about what was said.

We have all gone through things like this in our life where 'society' gets in the way of things. All we can do is rise above it and move on in turn becoming a stronger person.

*One Final Note*
I really enjoyed reading this, as I have said before I can see that you have talent like no other. Those are the two stanza's I like the most out of the entire poem. I took it as a relationship between two people that went bad and now it is done for good. I tend to go very deep when I read something like this, and I'm sorry if I creeped you out or anything. Its my writing frame of mind, all writers have them. i look at things in a diffent frame of mind at times depending on what I read.

All in all, this is an excellent piece and I hope that your future pieces are as good as this one.

-Writer *78*

Posted 14 Years Ago


This poem is very deep and moving, and I love the way you used biblical allusion in the first stanza. It's beautifully tragic.

Posted 14 Years Ago


So true love!
This is poignantly versed love, sometimes, ironically, we have to be careful what we wish for, the most precious of things can be right there, in front of us!
Great work
xx

Posted 14 Years Ago


i am craving more of your writing! lol! awesome job!

Posted 14 Years Ago


that was so beautifully crafted. i loved it. it was so epressive nad deep. honestly one of my favroites.

Posted 14 Years Ago



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Added on January 21, 2011
Last Updated on January 21, 2011

Author

Enitte
Enitte

Puerto Rico



About
I'm an English Teacher from Puerto Rico and my biggest hobby is to write Fantasy-fiction novels and stories. I really enjoy writing and sometimes I even get absorb by it and forget about the world aro.. more..

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A Poem by Enitte