BLOOD AND WATER

Blood and water here we met,

Blood we are water we choose,

Blood in me, me in them,

Bound by Blood kind and kin,

Birthed as blood, trait and gene.

In blood water abound,

In water no drop of blood,

We should bond and clot 'O Blood,

An indivisible mass of blood.

Do you not know 'O sister,

I chose you not as Blood,

Why can't you see O' brother,

You chose me not as Blood,

Not by selection not by election,

Here we met, joined as Blood.,

Of ties way back ages past,

Beyond choice, designed by fate.

But you say to me O' Blood,

Divide the mass, undo the tie,

Then I say to you O'Blood begone from me and here,

For my Blood has become a storm, my veins to tear apart,

And my kin a thorn in my pores.

I will choose from fine waters,

And cleanse from me your all.

Know we not O' Blood,

That swift is the tide of waters and transient its tide thereof,

And when the surface is washed and core revealed,

Then we shall know O'Blood,

That we shoud bond and clot as Blood,

For Blood we are and always will be.

Reviews

[Mifa]

Honestly, the first stanza, bravo! I really enjoyed the play on blood and water. Lines like "Blood we are water we choose," and "In blood water abound, In water no drop of blood," had me nodding my head like "wow! This is good". The first stanza, incredible, beautifully crafted and had a sing-song vibe to it that just rolled out the tongue as I read.

However, you kinda lost me in the second. I understood you were trying to explain the dynamics between blood kindred, the "O'brother" "O' sister" kinda made that obvious but I really couldn't grasp the intrinsic message that I suppose you were trying to pass across. I share the same concerns with the third stanza as well.

But the fourth was great. Perfectly worded and the flow sublime. You however to take note of something though. In that stanza you had a line that said "...That swift is the tide of waters and transient its tide thereof" I must say the repetition of the word "tide" didn't drive home the message. It made that line sound redundant.

Nevertheless, it really was a good poem, Biodun. I hope to read more from you soon. Keep writing.

[Abioduun]

Again Mifa, thank your for the honest comment. I look forward to learning more from all on this platform....Thank you.

[Maxim Lewis]

Thicker indeed.

I love this poem. Well done.

[Maxim Lewis]

Really. This is the finest piece of writing I've come across here.
Oscillating between the micro and macro. This world and the next. Our blood, the blood.

[Abioduun]

Thank you, for the encouragement. Looking forward to further comments/criticism