What if I told you

To my son

What if I said you were mortal

And there was an end to your ride?

And that you’d walk through that portal

And be stuck on the other side?

 

What if when departing this earth

You’ll leave behind your possessions?

Does it bring you sadness or mirth

To have no answers, just questions?

 

So live your life now and be bold

Do good unto others, my son

Today Leave your mark on the world

A sure way your name will live on 

 

 

Author's Note

I'm sure as hell don't know where this came from. I'm as surprised as you are, guys.
if you could improve on the poetic side of this.. thing, I'd be much obliged.

Reviews

[Norman 223]

You have asked the question that many of us have searched for. This is why there are so many religions. They all have different solutions - some banal, some kindly and some vicious. I asked the same questions in my poem "Wholly Unholy".
You don;t need to improve on your poetic presentation, Woody. It is brief ,concise and realistically worded..

Norman

[Woody]

Norman, it must be lack of confidence but I can never admit to myself thatt my poems are passable. how can I when I see wonderfully crafted verses such as the ones you bring here? ok I'm good with the rhyme but scan, rhyth, meter.... too much trouble. that's why most of my poems (such as the lymerics) are kind of "clownish".
ta very much for the review and the boost.
I agree to what you say about religions now let me go take a look at Wholly Unholy.

[Shabeeh Haider]

I was expecting something funny but this caught me unaware. It's a very powerful poem and just shows how wonderful you are with words.
We will move on to unknown territory and will have lots of questions and no answers.

[Woody]

your kind words are much appreciated, Haider. that was one of my rare moments of maturedness :)
read moreyour kind words are much appreciated, Haider. that was one of my rare moments of maturedness :)
glad you liked this one.

[EMMIE]

"What if I said you were mortal" ... what...me? Mortal? Nah, I'm too cool for that lol jk. That was an awesome read, I like the point of view from which is told. Makes me feel like you are talking directly to me...a sense of up-close and personal.

[Woody]

nah I see from your pic that you're enjoying life and having a good time so I don't want to spoil the moment :)
this is one of the rare moments when I'm acting my age.
thanks a bunch for stopping by, Emmi.
I like your sense of humour, too.

[EMMIE]

You are welcome and thank you. I wish I could write funny things but my stuff is depressing as hell ha ha ha.

[Woody]

ah well it's good to stop laughing for a moment and ponder the meaning of life. but let me check out your work and tell you if it's really depressing :)

[Shannon]

I love a piece where the words are so powerful that such an aggressive rhyming scheme fades into the background to become the supporting cast.

[Woody]

thanks a bunch S. glad you found it interesting. one of my rare moments of lucidity :))

[Iris]

Loved it. One of your more serious pieces, I would point out.
Also, did it ever occur to you that there might be answers to all those 'unanswered' questions? That perhaps you have nt looked in the right place for them?
Sometimes, answers find their way to you. Other times, you have to pack your bags and go look for them.

[Woody]

Iris, thank you so much for stopping to read and review. glad you liked this "unusually serious" piece. what can I say? I'm like the feline in your pic, I can't change my spots. I need to joke and play the fool :)
the questions I had in mind when I wrote the poem are the ones Man has been asking since the beginning of time. what's next? do we come back as someone else? is there heaven and hell? that sort of questions.

[Usman Muhammad]

Impressive...quite impressive.
This message is for every son, for every human being.
What i liked most was that you started with
What if I said you were mortal
And there was an end to your ride?
And ended with giving the solution to achieve mortality
Today Leave your mark on the world
A sure way your name will live on

such symmetry captures the reader and gives him some time to reflect upon his life.

[Woody]

thank you very much my friend. I'm not terribly good at poetry but I very rarely would get an idea and like to try it. so glad you liked this one

[Vatsal Rohilla (account..]

"What if when departing this earth
You’ll leave behind your possessions?
Does it bring you sadness or mirth
To have no answers, just questions?"
These lines moved me a lot. We are mortal, all of us will meet an end. We will depart, we will leave everything behind. We have plenty of questions that are concerned with death, but there is no answer to them- do we have a re-birth and such sort of unanswered questions.
Nice piece. Keep writing.

[Woody]

thanks loads Vatsal. glad those lines resonated with you. I wish one day, someone on the other side could provide answers to the questions that plague humanity.

[Bacchus]

Do good unto others...
This is a perfect piece- for peace.
I was expecting a joke-
and got something better.
We do need both.

[Woody]

thanks a bunch Bacchus. I've had this condition called "seriousness" since I was a child. the doctor warned me I'd have repapses :)
I'm so glad you like my other side.
nice to finally see the face behind the name :)

[Bacchus]

yeah... i need a few more decimals of a percent to get that stupid Top Writers badge... thought the face might help.

[Woody]

I've never paid much attention to that badge. don't know what should be done!

[Country boy183798]

Inspirational and beautiful! I was waiting for a joke somewhere in between those lines but it didn't come! But seriously, this is very beautiful, and very true as well. Thank you for sharing it!

[Woody]

haha ah well, I have rare moments of seriousness. thank God they're not that many.
thanks a lot my friend. glad you liked it.

[TL Boehm]

Well now. This is well written - with a light touch and a pleasing rhyme but its a seriously serious topic. My personal favorite is the first verse but the whole message is spot on.

[Woody]

haha it is serious, isn't it? not like me at all. now and again, I'd try my hand at "serious" poetry.
I'm learning, though.
thank you very much, TL. glad you liked it.

[Tinman07]

I like this Woody... Short and to the point, yet keeping some the impact of Kipling's 'If'.
I think we would all like some words of wisdom to leave behind for our loved ones... I would be great to extend this.

[Woody]

oh God, extend this? your words are much appreciated Tinman. thank you. but, at the risk of disappointing you, I must clarify that I'm more of a storyteller than a poet. my attempts at poetry are sporadic at best and are mostly humourous (ex limericks).
I'm really glad you liked this one.