A Deal with the Devil

my girl has left me. only one way to get her back.

When my girl left me all alone

And refused to return my calls

Sobbing, with my hand on the phone,

Distraught and fit to climb walls

 

When I woke up in the morning

Finding the bed empty and mute

Abandoned without a warning

And no coffee maker to boot

 

 

I locked myself inside the room

Summoned the Master posthaste

Talked about my impending doom

And how there’s no time to waste

 

“If you don’t bring back my lover”

I said to Satan point-blank

“No more drinks, no drugs, ever”

No women, I must be frank

 

I’ll go to church, forsake my sins

Confess, repent and pray, too

I’ll stay in with the penguins

And do their hullabaloo

 

In a blink, Jean was at the door

Sorry, contrite, eyes downcast,

Coffee maker on the floor,

Her clothes, she shed real fast

Reviews

[barleygirl]

As always, you've twisted all the tired trite statements of love, faith, & life. Of course, why didn't I think about pleading with the devil, that I would give up all my bad habits? You are brilliant in your silliness. And the coffeemaker . . . that was the clencher. Oh how my life would be ruined if someone ran off with my coffeemaker!!!!! I just love these true-to-life touches popping out all over your writing.

(Did you steal "hullabaloo" from my frog poem? I'm going to have you arrested . . . your writing so arrests me!)

[Woody]

I'm having a field day :) thanks a ton, B. glad you liked it. incidentally, I don't even know if I've read "frog". I'm going to check it out. I wouldn't dreeeeam of stealing from you :)

[Gee]

Sweet Woody,sweet....and nudity to finish

[Woody]

I'm so glad this one tickled you Gee. more important, I'm really really happy you dropped in. I frankly thought yu might be angry with me for that stupid comment I made.

[Gee]

Woody my friend that would never happen,long gone and forgotten......

[Woody]

you're a kind-hearted man, Gee. thanks :))

[Gee]

No probs.......

[Tom McRoberts]

I really liked this! It's a very witty twist on the deal-with-the-devil trope that made me laugh, especially given how effectively jarring its comes. Great work, man!

[Woody]

thanks a lot Tom. glad you enjoyed it. though I'm surprised you seem to approve of blackmail :)

[Tom McRoberts]

Well, given the circumstances (Satan) I didn't think it would lose you too much moral high-ground. At worst it's a 'grey area'.

[Woody]

I like how you brain works :)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

An amusing jaunty tale of a conspiracy with the devil himself. Do you think he would do me the same favour? lol

[Woody]

if you play your cards right, I'm sure you can trick him. provided you have something to trade. you know, wine women and song. go for it. :))
thank you very much john. glad you found this amusing.

[Lydia Shutter]

So what was more important....the coffee maker or Jean? Love your humor....always do. The Devil came through for you! Lydi**

[Woody]

haha I've often asked myself that question. I know something for sure. when coffee's percolating, all thoughts of Jean and her curvacious body fly out the window.
thanks Lydia :)

[Lydia Shutter]

Then there is your answer, my friend. You have a relationship with Mr. Keurig or Mr. Coffee! LOL

[Woody]

yeah we go back a long way. he would never leave me for someone else. :)

[Will Neill]

Reading your poem woody I think I have been a disciple of satan for most of my adult life, but I am slowly getting less tolerant of drugs,sex and rock and roll. Looks like Nothing left but be a writer.
Great poem.
Will

[Woody]

I doubt Satan has much use for writers, Will. if you find yourself in a tight spot, you won't have much leverage to use against the Master, I'm afraid.
thank you very much, Will.

[Nadia Gerassimenko]

Thanks for giving me ideas! :D
That was a treat!

[Woody]

I tell all reviewers the same thing: Satan hates to lose a disciple. so now you know what you can do :)
thanks a lot Nad.

[Moonie]

Oh god, woody, only you can pray to the devil to bring back your girl. Wow, way to go.... you're filling my head with ideas... Favourite lines
 
"I’ll go to church, forsake my sins
Confess, repent and pray, too
I’ll stay in with the penguins
And do their hullabaloo"
Making someone laugh is difficult in itself, making them laugh through poetry that rhymes is beyond my comprehension!! :))

[Woody]

thanks heaps, Dear :) I was not praying. I blackmailed the bugger and won :)))))

[Moonie]

Hehe, I am gonna blame you if I don't win..

[Woody]

you have a similar predicament?? go for it, Girl! tell him you'll become a nun or a mother superior or the pope. he hates to lose a disciple :)

[Moonie]

Yeah sounds like a plan... but won't the evilness and blackmailing we exhibit convince Satan that his disciples are safe??

[Woody]

touché :)))

[Valentine]

Never do 2 wrongs make anything right. The devil always wants his payback. Valentine

[Woody]

the end justifies the means. I got my coffee machine back, didn't I ?
thaks for stopping by Kathie. (I hope you didn't take me seriously) :)

[Beccy]

Ah Woody, those diabolical favours can be costly in the end; better to perhaps start over. :)


Beccy.

[Woody]

mmm start over? buy a new coffee machine? uh-oh. besides I'm no quitter :)
thank you Dear.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

a devil of a write...as the speaker tries to make it right by being wrong.

[Woody]

thank you so much jacob. who's to say what's wrong and what's right?